Massive Asian Hornets Are Going To Kill Us All
SUMMER’S on its’s way. And that means foreigners invading us via the pages of the tabloids. Today the Sun’s politics section features Asian wasps coming over here and stealing jobs from our own pests.
KEVIN SCHOFIELD, Chief Political Correspondent of the Sun has news from the hives of power:
VICIOUS Asian hornets three times the size of normal wasps are making their way to Britain, a chilling report warns.
Lock up your bees!
The giant pests, which pack a highly venomous sting, have already killed six people in France.
The giant hornets are killing the French?
But how big is giant? Well, they are not the size of small family hatchbacks. But they are pretty big; big enough to see and hit with Great British Hush Puppy shoe. The Sun compares the giant hornet to a Great British wasp, which is about as useful as comparing an eagle to a sparrow. More helpfully, the British Bee Keeping Association gives the hornet’s measurements in an 2013 article warning that the bugs will be in Southern English by this summer:
Vespa velutina queens are up to 3 cm in length; workers up to 25 mm (slightly smaller than the native European hornet Vespa crabro)
So. The giant hornets are smaller than the native hornets, now rebranded a ginormous hornets.
But Schofield has more scary news:
Their victims include one man stung to death in 2012 after he disrupted a nest in the Loire Valley.
Man stung to death in Loire Valley is UK political news in 2014? Let it not be said that the Sun is slow.
Now the hornets are among a host of deadly species of animals and plants threatening to overrun Britain.
Sharks. Gypsies. And now aggrandising hornets…. We’re all doomed.
Schofield lists other foreign threats to our Great British pests: Killer Shrimp, zebra mussels, the oak processionary moth and a ruddy duck. But why is this news political?
In the report, Westminster’s environmental audit committee warns that tough new laws are needed to stop the creatures harming native wildlife — and even human health.
Bring back the death penalty. Hanging fly paper’s too good for ‘em….