Katie Price Sticks Swarovski Crystals On Another Lucrative Failed Marriage
AND so it came to pass that Katie Price and Kieran ‘Loud’ Hayler are no longer an item. She claims on twitter that her third husband of some months has been chrating on her her with married-mum-of-two called Jane.
As befitting the terrible personal loss, Price took to Twitter:
“Sorry to say me and Kieran are divorcing. Him and my best friend Jane Pountney been having a full blown sexual affair for 7 months.”
No, need to apologise, Katie. You are the f9 on all celebrity hacks’ keyboards. In these lean post-Leveson times, Katie can be relived upon to conjure drama from 140 characters or fewer. We don’t know if any of it truer than the famous Jordans Katie caries before like a depilated Saint Agatha, a reality scripted by Katie’s seasoned ghostwriter, Rebecca Farnworth (quote: ““the shorts were so far up her bum cheeks it must have felt like she was flossing her arsehole every time she sat down”); or if it all a way of creating interest on Pountney tyres and the Dane Bowers lookalike circuit.
The news that Katie is to divorce is as cataclysmic as reports of her sleeping on her back. This is the woman who deftly cut out the paparazzi and PR wranglers and kiss’n’told on herself. We all get to laugh with and mock her because like a pneumatic Aunt Sally, brittle Katie knows her job is to be mocked, lauded, ridiculed and pitied by mags and newspapers with space to fill.
Meanwhile, Katie sits at home making more children and Mr Prices to stick Swarovski crystals on….