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World Cup Balls: The List Of Things Out To Kill England Fans In Brazil

by | 15th, May 2014

THINKING of heading to Brazil to watch England in the World Cup? The media have been doing their best to put you off:

 

 

MASSIVE HORNETS

The Daily Mail says huge bugs are waiting to off Englanders.

 

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Welcome to the jungle: Match night in Manaus, where giant hornets hover overhead

The Mail is unable to show readers a picture of an actual hornet. But they are there. Probably.

 

 

QUICKSAND

The Sun spots a new killer. Fans are at risk. Hell, players are gong down faster than Ashley Cole in a taxi.

 

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SCREAMING

The Mirror says that when being mugged it’s an idea to remain silent.

 

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Security bosses believe if fans “do not react, scream or argue,” then they will not provoke robbers into further violence.

 

 

 

VAMPIRES

The site MindfulMoney says vampires are coming to get you.

 

 

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TERRORISTS

 

The Metro sees terrorists.

Football fans have been warned to expect a ‘World Cup of terror’ at the hands of Brazilian crime gangs.

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DENGUE FEVER

More from the Mail. If the hornet miss, the holidaying mozzies won’t…

 

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“There are no vaccines or drugs against dengue but an individual will never contract dengue if they do not get bitten by an infected mosquito in the first place. So avoiding mosquito bites is the best precaution.”

 

 

HOOKWORM

The Daily Star sees things crawling up your bottom.

 

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CHILD PROSTITUTES

 

Says the site SambaFoot:

Despite being illegal in Brazil to pay for sex with a child aged 17 and under, girls as young as 11 are dressed to look older than they are and forced into the sex trade.

What do they wear – police uniforms?

 

 

SCORPIONS

The Colorado Daily News has a list of stuff you might find in a jungle:

The jungle around Manaus is home to the Brazilian yellow scorpion, one of the planet’s most deadly varieties, with a venomous sting that can be fatal. Tarantulas also live in the loose soil, digging burrows where they wait for prey. While they cannot kill a human, their bites are painful and the hairs on their bodies can cause itching and sore skin. The tropical climate also attracts false water cobras which can grow up to 7ft long and deliver their venom with a grinding, chewing action, rather than a quick strike, which causes bruising and swelling.

 

 

MURDER

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The Mirror has a nickname for Manaus.

 

 

LEFT AND RIGHT

The Huffington Post has this word of warning:

Dead Fan Walking

English fans visiting Brazil face a particularly hazardous situation. In England, for example traffic laws are enforced far more rigorously than they are in Brazil. Then too, traffic in England moves in the opposite direction that it does in Brazil. English fans are accustomed by instinct to look in the opposite direction for oncoming traffic. Forgetting to look the right way could become dangerous.

 

 

PERSPECTIVE

Brazilian Sports Minister Aldo Rebelo says danger is relative:

We all have our tragedies and challenges, serious problems relating to security, but I do not think that the English face greater risks than they see in Iraq or Afghanistan, where they recently lost hundreds of young soldiers.’

 

More when we spot them…



Posted: 15th, May 2014 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink