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Montenegrin Patriarch: Conchita Wurst Caused the Balkan Floods

by | 23rd, May 2014

Amfilohije Montenegrin Patriarch: Conchita Wurst Caused the Balkan Floods

 

SO says one of the more conservative churchmen of the Balkans, that Conchita Wurst, the bearded bloke in a dress who won the Eurovision song contest, caused the Balkan Floods that have forced 150,000 people from their homes. Quite remarkable what God gets pissed off about really, isn’t it?

In more detail the claim is being made by the Montenegrin Patriarch, that the floods are not a coincidence. Oooh, no, it is a warning from God that people should not join the dark side. Although quite what’s so dark about a bearded drag queen isn’t explained in any detail:

Conchita Wurst is responsible for flooding that left over 50 people dead earlier this month, church leaders in the Balkans have claimed.

The Austrian drag artist, whose real name is Thomas Neuwirth, seized international attention after winning Eurovision 2014 with his hit Rise Like a Phoenix.

However, several church leaders have now claimed the recent devastating flooding across the Balkans, which was the worst in a century and left over 50 people dead, was “divine punishment” for Conchita’s victory.

“This [flood] is not a coincidence, but a warning,” Patriarch Amfilohije of Montenegro said, according to e.novine.com. “God sent the rains as a reminder that people should not join the wild side.”

There is a slight problem with all of this. Quite apart from the fact that God doesn’t seem to send floods when people dress up in drag in Madame Jo Jo’s. The problem being that there are devastating floods everywhere in the world at least once a year. And we don’t have a bearded lady in drag, nor Conchita Wurst, either winning Eurovision or calling people over the the dark side every year. For example, there were terrible floods in Poland, the Czech Republic and Germany last summer. I actually saw them, was living in the middle of them in fact. And while I can’t recall who did win Eurovision last year I am sure there wasn’t any call to that dark side nor any transvestism.

Hmm. Maybe it’s just Eurovision itself that God is complaining about? That would actually make sense, wouldn’t it?

 



Posted: 23rd, May 2014 | In: Money, News Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink