Joey Essex Solves Britain’s Skills Shortage In Sunderland
IS there nothing celebrity cannot improve? The Sunderland Echo says Joey Essex is heading to the city to help with education and jobs:
It’s run by Gateshead Council LearningSkills. The Echo notes:
Organisers of the event say that, despite not having any higher education qualifications, Joey has shown that with hard work and dedication you don’t need great academic qualifications to succeed.
What are Joey’s skillz? He told Now magazine:
“I left school with two GCSEs. I got a C in art and a D in wood tech. I should’ve got a good grade in drama but I was caught copying another kid’s coursework and got a U.”
Not great qualifications. Barely any.
Joey’s dad told us:
“What could I say? I had to agree – Joey is bloody useless. I call it living on Planet Joey… Even I’ve been gobsmacked. I mean, I didn’t even know he couldn’t tell the time and as for not knowing how to blow your nose, I’m embarrassed to be honest.”
Katie Hind aded:
…without being harsh on Joey somebody, somewhere should be making sure that he could tell the time, realise that the sun and moon AREN’T the same thing and realise that “Wharf” and “Wolf” (as in Canary) are also completely different.
So. How is being comfortably thick regarded in the labour market? Well, Joey earned £60,000n for televised gonad eating on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!
One man who thought he knew the secret to fame and fortune:
Sam Barton from Sutton amassed jaw-dropping credit card debts of £25,000 in four years in search of the glamorous Joey Essex-look he hopes will make him a star.
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Youth of Sunderland, form an orderly queue