Killer Nazi Child-Eating Rats Take Over Britain: The tale Of The Daily Star’s Toothy Shockers
THE Country is in fear of “Monster Rats As Big As Cows”.
Cows are pretty big.
The Star has more:
AN INVINCIBLE army of disease-ridden killer rats the size of cattle are set to terrorise Britain, scientists warned yesterday.
Leicester University scientist Dr Jan Zalasiewicz said: “Given enough time, rats could probably grow to be at least as large as the capybara, the world’s largest rodent, that lives today, that can reach 80 kilos.”
Of course, given enough time, apes could build a replcia of the Statue of Liberty.
This rat scare story comes in a long line of ratty news in the Star.
These rats are killers.
They were coming not two-by-two to escape the rains. They were coming in swamrs though your windows and doors:
How big were these giants?
Cows? Sheep? One thing for certain. The rats were coming!
They were demolishing the country one brick at a time.
These gaint rats eat yer kids and bomb yer granny’s house:
These rats have no respect for rank and class:
Easter was going to be a time to plague.
Come April, and the rats were getting closer…
They were coming to get you…
They came for the first born!
But maybe the rats were on the side of the angels?
And they could balance out the bran drain:
What to do?
Plan 1: EAT THEM!
PLAN 2: MILK THEM – LIKE COWS!
But maybe it’s not the rats. Maybe it’s their jockeys:
FLEAS AS BIG AS LIONS!