Sepp Blatter Misses Irony of His Pro-Ethics Tweet
FOOTBALL fans (and even some non-football fans) will tell you that Sepp Blatter, arch ruler of FIFA and world football, is not a nice, upstanding bloke.
Many see him as the Emperor Palpatine of football, cackling away at his dastardly schemes.
Well, today, Sepp Blatter took his irony bypass pill to tweet about ethics in the football community. It’s a bit like Rupert Murdoch calling for calm while people are shouting at immigrants.
Of course, the response to this statement was swift and less-than-complimentary. One person tweeted: “You really don’t get irony do you Sepp?” while another referred to him as the “hitler of football”.
Another added “Seriously is this a parody account?” with another chipping in with “PHAHAHAHAHAHA – sorry….you were being serious…were you?…no…you can’t have been… FIFA responsible lol”
As you can see, football fans aren’t convinced.
Blatter has won four terms as FIFA President, but has been persistently dogged by controversy and allegations of corruption. Many have accused him of financial mismanagement and taking the odd bribe, with most eyes looking at the frankly bizarre decision for FIFA to award the 2022 World Cup to Qatar.
Sometimes, he’s opens his mouth too. He once said that women, should they want to get their wing of the sport more popular, should “wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts… to create a more female aesthetic,” which would attract more male fans.
When John Terry had an extramarital affair, he suggested that people in Latin American countries would ‘applaud’ him. Oh, and concerning Terry, when dealing with racism in football, he doesn’t see much that needs doing because everything can be corrected with a ‘handshake’.
That’s not all. Blatter’s deputy and former protégé Michel Zen-Ruffinen drew up a 30-page report outlining allegations of financial mismanagement within FIFA. Just as the report was handed to the Swiss authorities, Blatter was cleared and internal investigations within FIFA were suddenly stopped by Blatter because members of it broke confidentiality agreements. Zen-Ruffinen was quickly sacked.
Then, the Council of Europe said in 2012 that it would be very “difficult to imagine” that Blatter could’ve been blind to the “significant sums” paid to unnamed FIFA officials in return for very, very lucrative contracts for World Cup TV rights and the like. With World Cups going to Qatar and Russia, where homosexuality is illegal, when gay fans and others kicked up a stink, Blatter simply said: “I would say they [gay fans] should refrain from any sexual activities!”
Of course, the biggie came in April 2013 when FIFA’s Ethics Committee concluded their investigations into allegations of illegal payments to FIFA officials. Naturally, Blatter came away without charges of any misconduct, but pretty much all his mates, such as his predecessor, Joao Havelange, were found guilty. Havelange and former FIFA Executive Committee members Ricardo Teixeira and Dr. Nicolas Leoz were found to have accepted illegal payments between 1992 and May 2000.
Blatter, in a statement, “note[d] with satisfaction” that the report “confirms that ‘President Blatter’s conduct could not be classified in any way as misconduct with regard to any ethics rules’.” He added he has “no doubt that FIFA, thanks to the governance reform process that [Blatter] proposed now has the mechanisms and means to ensure that such an issue does not happen again”, though admitting that the scandal “has caused untold damage to the reputation of [FIFA].”
Sepp is standing again for a fifth term, presumably because he’s got so much shit on everyone, that they dare not blow the whistle on him or what he’s allegedly been up to.
In fact, the only thing Blatter has done which is universally admired and enjoyed by football fans is… well…