Samantha Lewthwaite Opens Ginger Suicide School In Syria
THE Mirror reports that “White Widow Samantha Lewthwaite” is “training ISIS female suicide bombers in Syria”. As ever, a British education is best.
Training a suicide bomber is easy. But picking a trainer is hard, given that the best coaches will have the fewest appraisals. Take a look at the Death Coach’s website:
‘Sam was a great suicide bomber coach. I’d recommend her to anyone keen in self-pebbledashing a market place or busload of families’ – Wasim.
‘Before Sam I was insecure and full of self-doubt. I’d failed by HND in business studies and the thought of another day stacking shelves in WH Smith’s filled me with a morbid dread. But with Sam’s guidance I came to realise that I truly was better off dead’ – Philip
‘The last words going though my mind were Sam’s advice to real inhale the vapours and count 100 paces before pressing the button on the jet pack’ – Buzz
The Mirror adds:
The 30 year-old Brit – one of the world’s most wanted women – is also thought to be helping the militants with their propaganda campaign. The widow of 7/7 bomber Germaine Lindsay, Lewthwaite took the name Sherafiyah when she converted to Islam.
But how truthful is it?
She was also suspected of being involved in the massacre at the Westgate Shopping Centre in Nairobi last September, the Star on Sunday reports.
Can the widow of a 7/7 bomber be linked to every Islamist group?
But news of her involvement with ISIS will cause added concern in London and Washington, as she uses her extensive terrorist experience to assist the militants.
Sure. Because thousands of Death Cult loons – and how goes the care in the community programme in the Islamic State? – are not enough. You need a white woman to give them the real fear factor.
And is that Samantha Lewthwaite in the IS head office? Can the jhihadis be certain it is she? As the Mail nods:
The hunt for one of the world’s most wanted terrorism suspects known as ‘The White Widow’ has gone cold after it emerged she has undergone plastic surgery to evade capture.
Is it a good disguise? Yeah. The 30-year-old should give Simon Cowell her surgeon’s number:
Kenyan government has offered an all-expenses-paid holiday to a 15-year-old US teenager and her family after police mistook her for Samantha Lewthwaite, the British terrorist suspect nicknamed the ‘white widow’.
Is she a real ginger?
We discovered that 76 per cent of white British converts to radical Islam had red hair. In the Daily Mail archives, 69 per cent of white Brits lured into jihadism or the orbit of an extremist preacher were ginger. The number was similar for the Mirror and the Telegraph. The Guardian yielded a full 100 per cent redhead rate for the stories we sampled.
IS spooks unsure as to whether that British woman taking the Suicide Bombers Seminar is The White Widow can yell “blood-nut,” “fire-truck,” “matchstick” and “tampon” and see if she turns around or shoots them in the face…