Seven Wonders of the World: The World of Sordid Sports Stadia, That Is
Seven Wonders of the World. (The world of sordid stadia, that is.)
THE Golden State Warriors rarely make headlines in the British press. But they have now – and for the all-too-predictable reason that they have piqued the national appetite for toilet humour.
The Oakland-based basketball club is planning a new stadium, you see, and the architects’ renders resemble… wait for it… A GIANT TOILET.
A spokesman says that the putative plans are a preliminary concept intended to ‘facilitate feedback’, and more detailed renderings will be forthcoming. In the meantime, here’s a picture to enjoy at your convenience…
Other stadia have had their dignity bruised over the years.
Dublin’s Aviva stadium has its own Facebook group dedicated to the idea that it looks like a bedpan…
The old ‘iconic’ Wembley was sometimes derided as a toilet, and on Cup Final days Wembley Way did indeed became the world’s largest public convenience. Here it is in the days when it was lined with trees, rather than urinating football fans.
The Oval first had the indignity of having its ‘naming rights’ sold to a famous brand of Australian piss.
Then, in 2013, England cricketers were obliged to apologise for urinating on the pitch during the celebrations after the final Test of the Ashes in 2013. Kevin Pietersen, Stuart Broad, James Anderson and others were alleged to have queued up to relieve themselves on the sacred square while team-mates cheered.
You don’t have to resemble a toilet to raise a cheap laugh, though. The Mellon Arena, home of the Pittsburgh Penguins, is known as ‘The Igloo’ – although ‘The Tit’ would be more apt.
Meanwhile, the Al Wakrah stadium, designed by Zaha Hadid for the 2022 World Cup has been said by some to resemble a lady’s growler. Hadid’s firm says it is inspired by a traditional Arabian boat.
Nothing odd about this stadium…
Except that, in addition to being the former home of BSC Young Boys, it also rejoiced in the name Wankdorf Stadium, and thus became officially every English football supporter’s favourite foreign ground.