Manchester United Balls: 8 More Sweary Extracts From Roy Keane’s Autobiography
YOU read the first tirade of extracts from Roy Keane’s second autobiography, The Second Half, now read more of the former Manchester United captain’s ghost-written barbs, as seen in The Second Half. The third autobiography will surely be called Fergie Time, followed by Walks With My Dog, Who’ Is AFeckin’ Good Listener.
On Patrick Vieira:
“If it had come to a fight, Patrick could probably have killed me.”
On an encoutner with former United assistant manger Carlos Queiroz on a training camp on the Algarve:
“He [Queiroz] was just on my right shoulder; how I didn’t f******* hit him again — I was thinking, ‘The villa in Portugal, not treating me well in training — and he just used the word “loyalty” to me’… I said, ‘Don’t you f****** talk to me about loyalty, Carlos. You left this club after 12 months a few years ago for the Real Madrid job…”
Ferguson: “I’ve had enough of all this,.”
Keane: “You as well , gaffer. We need f****** more from you. We’re slipping behind other teams.”
On the end:
“I said to Ferguson, ‘Can I play for somebody else?’” Keane wrote. “And he said, ‘Yeah you can, cos we’re tearing up your contract.’ So I thought, ‘All right — I’ll get fixed up.’ I said, ‘Yeah — I think we have come to the end.’ I just thought, ‘F****** p****’ — and I stood up and went ‘Yeah. I’m off.’ ”
“I went to see the manager and Carlos and I apologised,” Keane wrote. “But now I kind of wish I hadn’t. I apologised but afterwards I was thinking ‘I’m not sure why I f****** apologised.’ ”
On a small mind in a nice company car:
“I got an extra three months out of it [the car],” he wrote. “I drove some f****** miles in that car — every little victory is vital.”
Ferguison and the Rock of Gibraltar:
Ferguson disagreed with Irish horse racing winners and Manchester United shareholders John Magnier and JP McManus over stud rights to champion racehorse Rock of Gibraltar.
“Somebody I met in Ireland had told me to tell him [Ferguson]: ‘You are not going to win this,’” Keane wrote. “I mentioned it to him. And I told him that I didn’t think it was good for the club, the manager in a legal dispute with shareholders. I felt I was entitled to say that. He was just a mascot for them. Walking around with this Rock of Gibraltar — ‘Look at me, how big I am,’ — and he didn’t even own the bloody thing…
“From the players’ point of view, it [the Glazer takeover] didn’t bother us too much. I had a few shares in the club as part of my contract. So the Glazers coming in was worth a few bob to me.”
“The manager had a go at us as we were getting on the bus, and people were going on about a fight in the hotel the night before. It started coming back to me — the fight between me and Peter [Schmeichel]. In the meantime, Nicky Butt had been filling me in on what had happened the night before. Butty had refereed the fight. Anyway, Peter had grabbed me, I’d head-butted him — we’d been fighting for ages. At the press conference, Peter took his sunglasses off. He had a black eye. The questions came at him. [Schmeichel] said, ‘I just got an elbow last night, in training.’ ”
On getting Alfe-Inge Haaland:
“He was an absolute prick to play against. I did want to nail him and let him know what was happening. I wanted to hurt him and stand over him and go: ‘Take that, you c***.’ I don’t regret that. But I had no wish to injure him.”
Wonder what he’s like to live with..?