Cheese Big Enough To Kill A Man Arrives In Canada
How do you describe something big? Traditionally, fooball pitches, buses or St Paul’s Cathedral have been used to describe a thing’s length or height. But writing in the Ottwah Citzen, Alison Mah takes a new angle:
A 1,000-pound provolone that would likely kill you if it fell on you the wrong way has arrived in Ottawa.
Big enough to kill you.
The cheese is big enough to kill one human. A jumbo jet, for instance, is big enough kill 500 humans. One images this is how ISIS jihadis mesaures things.
Jihadi 1: “How big is your family?”
Jihadi 2: “Big enough to kill seventeen people if it fell on them”
As for the killer cheese, Joe Nicastro, of Nicastro’s Italian Food Emporium, assures us: “You never see something like this.”
But by the time you do see it, it might already be too late…