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Anorak | The List of Things Banned From UK-Made Porn

The List of Things Banned From UK-Made Porn

by | 2nd, December 2014

Actress Elaine Barrie observes as actor John Barrymore, Sr., demonstrates the spanking scene on director Otto Preminger in "My Dear Children," during rehearsals, Jan. 1940, in New York. (AP Photo)

Actress Elaine Barrie observes as actor John Barrymore, Sr., demonstrates the spanking scene on director Otto Preminger in “My Dear Children,” during rehearsals, Jan. 1940, in New York. (AP Photo)

 

WHEN you hear that a government is getting involved in porn, you’d be forgiven that they were hiding schoolboys in an attic and filming them suffering unimaginable horrors and sweeping the whole thing under the rug while shouting “LOOK! FOREIGN PEOPLE! THEY’RE THE ONES YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT!”

Alas, British MPs are responsible for the country’s moral conduct as well, which means they’re the ones putting a modesty blanket on things like films, magazine and adverts.

So, with that, we look at the things that have just been banned in UK-made pornography… and even the prudish among you might be surprised at what is considered illegal to film in Britain, thanks to an amendment to the 2003 Communications Act.

And it seems that female pleasures are the things being hit hardest.

The Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 requires that video-on-demand (VoD) online porn now adhere to the same guidelines laid out for DVD sex shop-type porn by the British Board of Film Censors (BBFC), with the board seemingly taking a random approach to deciding what is acceptable sex.

You won’t find anything sensible or cohesive in this list of banned practises.

Spanking
Caning
Aggressive whipping
Penetration by any object “associated with violence”
Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual)
Urolagnia (known as “water sports”)
Female ejaculation
Strangulation
Facesitting
Fisting

Bizarrely, in the latter three, the BBFC think they are “life-endangering”. Last time we checked, most people who liked to be choked, sat on and have a whole hand in them, didn’t want to die because, obviously, they’d like to be able to do those things again, consensually with a partner.

Of course, these things aren’t banned in the household and you can do as you please with a consenting adult, but it is bizarre that this list is made up of a lot of the things women enjoy. Male ejaculation is good, but if you’d like to see a lady doing it in a film, no chance.

So let us imagine the things that might be in your average adult film aimed at lesbians. They’ll no longer be able to get a kick out of a female ejaculating and they certainly won’t be able to get hot under the collar at some friendly fisting. And if someone wants to see a woman’s face being sat on by another lady, then you’d no chance.

It’s all a bit missionary isn’t it?

British femdom films are pretty much exinct overnight thanks to this new ruling.

“There appear to be no rational explanations for most of the R18 rules,” Jerry Barnett of the anti-censorship group Sex and Censorship told Vice UK. “They’re simply a set of moral judgements designed by people who have struggled endlessly to stop the British people from watching pornography.”

Mercifully, porn-havers will still be able to buy porn from other countries that aren’t completely backward and indeed, with the internet existing, you’ll still have everything at your fingertips, but sadly, the content won’t be made in the UK.

It seems that the powers-that-be in the UK are very jumpy when it comes to adult entertainment and the things consensual adult get up to, deciding what is in ‘good taste’ or not. If only they’d show the same concern for the growing number of abused children emanating from the corridors of power…



Posted: 2nd, December 2014 | In: News Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink