Talking Balls (and anus): Manchester United launch new all-star 4-4-2 line-up
The bigger the pornographer, the bigger the prude. Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal said:
“I know all the stats. I read the stats. I know that we have won more with 4-4-2 in a diamond. But when you analyse the game, then we have twitched our ass on the bench. I said to my players I was squeezing my ass, but it was the wrong expression. I have twitched my ass on the bench because we were out of balance. All the matches when we play 4-4-2, like against West Ham United, it was always twitching your ass. I don’t like that. We have won nine or 10 in a row, then we lose one match and then the discussion about the system is coming. It is ridiculous. Now I have answered your question in a very good way.”
That quote is from the BBC.
Now for the Sun, the paper with topless Page 3 stannas, adverts for sex chatlines and published by Rupert Murdoch, via whose Sky TV network you can watch loadsa porn:
“I said to my players I was squeezing my a*** but it was the wrong expression, I have twitched my a*** on the bench because we were out of balance. We lost the game at Leicester 5-3 and that was undeserved. And all the matches when we’ve played 4-4-2, like against West Ham, it was always twitching your a*** and I don’t like it.”
A****? Is that anus?
Over in the Express – brought to you by publisher Richard Desmond, who operates a later night hardcore porn TV channel and website, the same story is:
LOUIS VAN GAAL launched a bizarre defence of his tactics by claiming a 4-4-2 formation gives him “a twitchy bum”.
“…we have twitched our a*** on the bench. I said to my players I was squeezing my a*** but it was the wrong expression. I have twitched my a*** on the bench because we were out of balance – and I don’t like that. After I switched the system [to 3-5-2] we have lost only one match in the last 13 – and that was undeserved – so the discussion about which is the best system is ridiculous.”