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Anorak | ISIS football team recruits five footy flops: Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Figo are not imposters

ISIS football team recruits five footy flops: Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Figo are not imposters

by | 26th, January 2015

Are ISIS buliding a football team? Monday’s Daily Star leads with the news: “5 footie aces are secret jihadis.”

 

Screen shot 2015-01-26 at 16.22.46

 

A strawl poll of Anorak Towers’ experts reveals the five we think are aiming to destroy Western civilisation:

John Terry
Luis Suarez
Joe Mourinho
Robin Van Persie
Pepe

We recommend that all five are arrested and sprited to Guantanamo Bay immediately. But reading on we learn that these soccer ‘Aces’ are more deuces:

Security chiefs are probing if the east London gang of soccer starlets one of whom claims to have trained with Arsenal were involved in making the horrific execution videos which shocked the world….

Fabio Pocas, 22, moved to the UK three years ago in a bid to become a professional footballer. He was previously at Sporting Lisbon’s youth academy which nurtured footballing superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Luis Figo. In London Pocas played for amateur league side UK Football Finder which he helped to become divisional champions.

Which division? The Star fails to say. But we

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Posted: 26th, January 2015 | In: News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink