Tennis fans thrilled Kim Sears has learned to swear
After years of avoiding the use of foul language, Kim Sears has finally learned how to swear.
Kim was sat at the Australian Open watching boyfriend Andy Murray when she found her voice. Experts says she was swearing at umpire Pascal Maria, who had given Murray a series of warnings for time-wasting. It looks like she says ““F***ing have it, you s*** French f***”.
But you can judge for yourself:
Tennis used to feature no swearing at all. The previous ‘verbals’ highlight was John McEnroe asking if “you can be serious” and screaming about “chalk dust”. If you wanted to learn how to swear you had to watch the football. Now the cool kids will be watching tennis to see if they can pick up any phrases. It’s the kind of breakthrough one of the world’s top five racket sports has been waiting for.
These are early says, of course, and we expert to see errors as the aces get to grips with the new vernacular, such as Roger Federer telling the linesman to “shut the up-fuck” and Serena Williams lambasting the coughing man in the crowd for being a “dicky-head”.
It’s hoped that after the swearing tennis will embrace spirits and lagers between ends, segregated seating and fans, such as the Murray Maniacs, arriving on Tennis Specials equipped with Muzza tattoos, inflatable bananas and a refrain about Novak Djokovic’s mum…