Casey Batchelor raffles off her new breasts
The Sun has replaced Page 3 and most of Page 2 with the story on Casey Batchelor, a toppless stunna last seen in public frotting a member of middle-aged boyband Blue on Celebrity Big Brother.
Casey – no longer topless – is here to tell us that she’s not had sex for eight months.
“I don’t miss sex, says Casey.” I’ve dated so many guys I thought were nice, but once the deed was done they lost interest…. I refuse to waste another number on a man that doesn’t deserve me.”
A Number? Is Casey first prize in a raffle?
That’s a little odd. But the key bit about this huge news story is that Casey is no longer as pneumatic as she once, reducing her breasts from 32GG to 32DD. Says Casey: “No man’s seen them yet. I want a fairytale ending.”
We’ve all seen that fairytale, the one where the glamour model gets off with the lower league footballer before exposing her naked pumpkins as the King declares a national holiday…