Anorak | That’s (not) Entertainment: how TV killed The Jam

That’s (not) Entertainment: how TV killed The Jam

by | 20th, April 2015



That’s NOT Entertainment!

For some time now our happy island nation has, slowly but surely, been invaded by an uninvited and unwelcome breed.

This is nothing to do with immigration, asylum-seekers, refugees, the EU or any of the other supposed threats that exercise the newspapers at election time.

No, this is an insidious invasion that has targeted our TV screens, and in particular the advertisements, ‘trails’ and promotional montages that seem to take up as much time as the programmes they punctuate…

The invaders are instantly recognizable by their distinctive singing style: breathy, slightly flat, sometimes with an ‘emotive’ crack in the voice. Their songs are, variously: drippy, dippy, dull and dreary. They are invariably accompanied by willfully amateurish acoustic guitar. This formula is used to advertise everything from white goods to Barclays’ revolting ‘thank you’ to ‘real football fans’.

A further sickening sub-group is the contrived, whimsical version of the above, which is often accompanied by a plinky-plunky ukulele. The most hideous examples of this are the nauseatingly twee Hive ads, which ask questions such as ‘why aren’t you having a bubble bath with a pink and gold giraffe while Hive controls your heating at home?’ (Or some such annoying bollocks we can’t bear to listen to one of the actual ads again simply in order to quote its puke-making ‘lyrics’.)

So far, so bad. Yet things have now taken a serious turn for the worse thanks to the good people of Renault, who turned stomachs for years on end with the horrible ‘Papa!’ ‘Nicole!’ saga vile stool-water which

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Posted: 20th, April 2015 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer, TV & Radio Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink