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Anorak | Role models: Leicester City’s orgy stars make kids hanker for ‘minging’ Thai prostitutes

Role models: Leicester City’s orgy stars make kids hanker for ‘minging’ Thai prostitutes

by | 1st, June 2015

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Leicester City have bought into the balls that footballers are role models tasked with teaching us to live good lives. On the matter of the bisexual orgy partaken by James Pearson, Tom Hopper and Adam Smith on the club’s tour of Thailand, Leicester City say:

“The Board of Leicester City Football Club is deeply concerned about an incident involving three of our young professionals during a recent trip to Thailand. Our players at every level are expected to behave as representatives and ambassadors for our Football Club, both on official Club duty and in their personal lives, so we treat their conduct extremely seriously.

“Following a preliminary meeting in consultation with the three players earlier today, the players involved in the incident are now returning to the UK, in advance of the rest of the squad.

“Tom Hopper, James Pearson and Adam Smith would like to convey their sincere apologies for their behaviour – to the women involved in the incident, to the Club and its owners, to the Club’s fans and to their families.”

Just not in person.

“A formal process of investigation will be undertaken with the players in conjunction with their representatives and, as such, no further comment can be made at this stage.

Leicester City remains wholly committed to promoting equality in football and in wider society and to our players recognising their responsibilities as role models to young people.”

Youngsters who had planned to become family men like for England player Phil Neville are now conflicted. The favoured greeting between Leicester’s children is now “slit-eyed minger“, replacing “negrito” and “you black ****”, terms imported from cool kids in Liverpool and Chelsea, respectively.

Tom Hopper, James Pearson and Adam Smith’s children will surely grow up with a bubble of immense pride that Leicester’s chief cultural activity of on-the-clock sex with impoverished Thai women was inspired by their fathers’ work in the field.

Unless, of course, another more powerful footballing role model says the trio are women-hating, bigotted bastards, in which case best of luck, growing up with dad, boys and girls….

 



Posted: 1st, June 2015 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink