Naked Kim Kardashian is the body of Travis Perkins
Kim Kardashian’s pose for System magazine (see above) reveals how the porno-to-selfie star would would appear if she were buried in an earthquake and excavated hundreds of years from now, her skin and hair preserved by the unguents and lacquers of her age.
Future forensic scientists should note that the specimen can be reinvigorated with a sudden burst of flash photography and the cry: ‘Kim. Over ‘ere luv!”
The tableau you see was created by Mr Kim, aka Kanye West, who wanted to realise what her in doors would look like living in a cutaway ants’ nest whilst reassuring Travis Perkins and any number of quarries that Kim is available to endorse their products.