Stuart Baggs: the Apprentice candidate, chancer, git and human being dies
STUART Baggs is the latest member of the 27 Club — a group of high-profile names who lost their lives aged just 27…
What band was Stuart Baggs in, then? He was in the Alan Sugar And The Apprentices, where he once played a tour guide in an effort to win a work placement at blustering Lord Sugar’s offices in Essex and a lacunae in common sense and self-awareness. Key quote: “I’m not a one-trick pony. I’m not a ten-trick pony. I’m a whole field of ponies and they’re literally all running towards this job.”
Police said that the cause of Stuart Baggs’s death was “unknown” but that there was “nothing to indicate that his death is criminally suspicious”.
But as the praise comes in for the reality TV contestant (he also appeared on Come Dine With Me and Channel Four’s Celebrity Five Go To, with Ed Giddins, a member of The Three Degrees, a retired model and Christopher Biggins), it’s worth looking at what they said when he was alive:
Cailtin Moran (Times):
On the evidence of the first episode, however, Stuart Baggs is this year’s stand-out contestant. A 21-year-old “telecoms entrepreneur” from the Isle of Man — a job title that, given his home town, could mean as little as letting people use the “Next Bus” app on his iPhone for 10p a pop — Baggs has a winning line in sounding like an utter git.
“Where’s my glass ceiling? I don’t have one. I am Stuart Baggs — the brand,” Baggs said, presumably unaware that the reason why he doesn’t have a glass ceiling is because “glass ceiling” is a term that usually refers to institutionalised sexism or racism in a corporate environment, while he, in comparison, is a white man — albeit one borderline handicapped by the amount of Lynx “Control Freak” hair gel on his head.
…after an investigation by Sugar’s computer Rottweiler Bordan Tkachuk, far from owning a field of ponies, he did not even have the telecom licenses he claimed in the Isle of Man. “My advisers looked at me in the boardroom today,” Sugar told the Brand, “and said you were full of s*** basically.”
The 21-year-old chancer, who once told the local media that a rival company was folding, was, actually, doomed the moment he greeted the show’s guest star, Margaret Mountford, with a warm “Margaret!”. He felt he knew her. “But you don’t,” she told him.
…Baggs has provided more killer lines than any other character on TV in 2010. “I am Stuart Baggs, the brand. I have a certain kind of charisma.” “Everything I touch turns to sold.” “I have to rein in my own extreme masculinity in this task.” “While I am arrogant, it’s a kind of arrogance lite — all the full-fat taste, but half the calories.” When interviewed on The Apprentice: You’re Fired, the thoughts were, again, of “the journey”. Had he learnt? Had he grown? “If I’m going to be honest, I’m still a bit of a cock,” Baggs replied.