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Anorak | Kiss and tell: my sex and more sex with sex mad Chelsea doctor sexy Eve Carneiro

Kiss and tell: my sex and more sex with sex mad Chelsea doctor sexy Eve Carneiro

by | 16th, August 2015

sex rupert dr evaDid you know that Chelsea doctor Eva Carneiro is “sex mad”? It’s all she thinks about.

When Arsenal fans are asking “Have you ever had a Gooner up your arse?” and Manchester United supporters are telling her to “Get your tits out for the lads”, Dr Eva is thinking about sex. When she’s treating Eden Hazard in the closing stages of Chelsea’s opening game of the 2015-16 season at Stamford Bridge she’s thinking about sex. When bitchy Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho is belittling her in public, she’s thinking about sex. Even when she’s rubbing John Terry’s thighs she is thinking about sex. Eva Carneiro is “sex mad”.

The Sun delivers the news that matters, reporting the words of one Rupert Patterson-Ward. He says he and Dr Eva had sex “a million times”. He says:

“This woman ruined my life. Eva would blurt out she had slept with one of the players during heated rows. She said it just to make me feel bad. I don’t believe it was true.’’

He didn’t believe it but does believe we should know.

Rupert, 33, then talks about sex.

“Eva is a very sexual woman and not many people know the real her. She’s ruthless and gets whatever and whoever she wants. I was besotted with her and we were planning a family, but she chewed me up and spat me out.”

Is that why you’re covered in a thin layer of slime, Rupes?

“Eva loved sex. It was so important to her. We would have sex every single day.”

Welcome to austerity Britian, readers. Once upon a time sporting figures “potted” kiss ‘n’ tellers five times a night. Now it’s once a day with Rupert. Depressing.

One bout of quotidian sex occured after Roo had hurt his shoulder.

“I was doubled up and really hurting. When Eva came back she saw I was in pain. She took me to her bedroom, and with a twinkle in her eye said, ‘I need to treat you’. She tore off my clothes, glanced at my shoulder, jumped on me and we had passionate sex.”

One glance at Rupert’s shoulder and an intelligent woman is turned into a rampant, humping, lusty-filled shagger. Show both shoulders and Rupert will attract women to him like flies to a wet turd.

He then introduces the spectre of sexual harrassment in the workplace:

“She told how one footballer would constantly hit on her, parading around naked in front of her at every opportunity in the dressing room and making sure she got a real eyeful. After one match he called her to his hotel room and answered the door completely starkers.”

Adding:

“We would be sitting at home watching TV and she would have calls from players at 9pm or 10pm. They would have had a sore leg or had pulled a hamstring. She always went and returned in the early hours. I had to get my head around the fact she would be giving players rub downs.”

Rupert then harks back to when he and Dr Eva first met.

“I was a bit tipsy and loose-tongued and went over and began chatting. She was with her parents but I didn’t care. I chatted for as long as I could without freaking her out, and made sure she had my name, phone number, email, you name it.”

Bank account details?

He was so worried he was losing her that he once hired a £50,000 Jeep 4×4 to pick her up from Chelsea’s training ground in Cobham, Surrey. 

You can see why sex mad Dr Eva shagged Rupert – he really is a massive tool.



Posted: 16th, August 2015 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink