Manchester United fans in David De Gea horror chant
The Sun is shocked. It has heard that Manchester United fans have been singing nasty things about wantaway goalkeeper David De Gea. Presented as an “exclusive“, the paper writes:
De Gea, 24, had arrived close to kick-off, hoping to sneak in unnoticed. But he was spotted by a handful of fans and greeted with a chorus of “f*** off you penny-pinching b*****d” as security went to let him in.
A handful of fans shouted abuse at a footballer. That’s an exclusive news story. It would have been a world exclusive had fans shouted abuse at a tree in a wood and made it fall down.
Onlookers said De Gea, who has yet to feature for United this season, looked visibly shaken.
He has every right to be. That song is so bad it could have been written by a British Eurovision entrant. See if you can make a “chrous” of “F*ck off you penny-pinching bastard”. Pick any tune you like. I tried it with all the Chas ‘n’ Dave hits, most 1960s songs and found it worked best, and then not all that well, when sung along to I’ve Got Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts. But it doesn’t work really – which is probably why only a handful of people were singing it.
And then there are the words. Look up penny-pinching and it tells you it’s a description of someone “unwilling to spend money; miserly.” If true, can I suggest the more offensive – and all decent football chants are either pithy, funny, offensive or, preferably funny, pithy and offensive.
David is a miser, David is a miser, spend some cash, shag Leslie Ash (get some gash / sort out your tache / etc.)
The thing about a good chant is, you don’t have to believe it in any literal sense to join in or see its value.
Now sing along:
“Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to see Man United win and highlight a pressing need not for De Gea to stay but for a new striker to join”
Ea-zee. Ea-zee. Ea-zee.