Chelsea Things: Hazard Misses, Mourinho on ‘drugs’, Loftus-Cheek’s ‘immaculate’ yellow card
Chelsea Things: Chelsea beat the mighty Maccabi Tel Aviv 4-0 at Stamford Bridge last night, causing the journalisomobile to crank up it’s “Things We Learnt‘ SEO-driven device.
The paper says Eden Hazard should have scored a penalty and:
A change of haircut for Jose Mourinho has brought about a much-needed change of luck for the Portuguese man of war.
It’s all about the hair. Who knew?
And Mourinho likes winning – who knew that?
He’s been far too mean and moody of late but maybe he’s about to become all magnificent again.
The Daily Mail.
Jose Mourinho’s in a bad mood – OK, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work that one out.
Sami Mokbel also ‘learned’ that Diego Costa scored:
Maybe his goal will spark him into life. Mourinho and Chelsea will hope so.
He also learned something about Reuben Loftus-Cheek:
…he was fortunate not to be punished for sloppily giving the ball away in his own half, referee Felix Zwayer blowing for an earlier foul. Likewise, he was on tenterhooks for pretty much the entire game after picking up a second-minute booking.
The Evening Standard
It learned that Mourinho “looked like a man with more enthusiasm than ever”. The London paper also learned that the aforesaid “fortunate” Loftus-Cheek – who was booked very early on – played “immaculately“.
The Indy employs Jack Pitt-Brooke to tell readers that “Loftus-Cheek played immaculately“.
He also tells us that Mourinho needs the “drug” of competition:
That’s a lot like the ‘Five Things We Learned’ balls attached to Tom Sheen’s Standard story:
We’ve learned that the papers have the same owner.
Matt Law learned:
Chelsea scored countless goals on the way to the Premier League title thanks to the telepathy that exists between Fabregas and Costa.
Diego Costa: 20 goals
Cesc Fabregas: 18 assists
We’ve learned that you can count goals and assists.
Such are the facts.