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Anorak | Jeremy Corbyn’s aide calls for an army of tea-drinking surrender monkeys

Jeremy Corbyn’s aide calls for an army of tea-drinking surrender monkeys

by | 21st, March 2016

tea corbyn

 

As the Tories row over Brexit and disability payments, the Labour party obliterates casus belli, picks up the one working gun in the British Army and aims at its feet.

Britain would be safer if its defence policy was to have “cups of tea” with Isil terrorists rather than bomb them, one of Jeremy Corbyn’s key allies on Labour’s ruling body has said. Christine Shawcroft, who sits on the party’s National Executive Committee and is a senior figure in Momentum, said that soldiers should “get the teabags out” to solve the Syrian crisis rather than resorting to air strikes.

Mugs away!

She warned that media stories about Mr Corbyn’s non-interventionism were having a negative impact and imagined a voter saying: “That Jeremy Corbyn you know, faced with terrorists he’d sit down and have a cup of tea with them or something.”

Does Hamas break for teatime?

Ms Shawcroft went on: “Now I mean, you know, maybe we should try it! Bombing them and attacking them has got us nowhere, why don’t we get the teabags out?

You know I did read a while ago about when the EDL were going round picketing outside mosques… One particular mosque in the Midlands somewhere just opened the doors and said would you like to come in for a cup of tea? And they went in for a cup of tea and now they’re friends with the EDL. Straight away the EDL are now like oh, well actually these people are not the monsters you know that we’re being told all this time, they’re actually human beings that you can sit down and have a cup of tea with.”

Proper English tea grown in Yorkshire, we’ll bet. None of that foreign muck.

“So you know I think we should bear in mind that having cups of tea might actually be the best kind of system of defence and national security that you could have, but there we are.”

Chimpanzees and scalding hot water might hold them off for a while. But will they stand a chance against Isil’s Rich Tea biscuit tanks? Those things can absorb a tea bombardment.

 



Posted: 21st, March 2016 | In: News, Politicians Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink