Anorak

Anorak | Murdering Harambe the gorilla is a sign of God’s love for Isaiah and mankind

Murdering Harambe the gorilla is a sign of God’s love for Isaiah and mankind

by | 30th, May 2016

Harambe gorillaFor a brief period, Harambe, the 400lb silverback gorilla, had a playmate in his Cincinnati Zoo pen. Harambe dragged his pal, a four-year-old boy who had fallen into the enclosure, to his feet and then showed him around for ten minutes. The boy called for his “mommy”. From above, his mother replied, “Mommy’s right here. Mommy loves you.”

Deciding that a huge gorilla was not a suitable playmate for the young child, zookeepers thought it best to shoot Harambe dead. So they did. The boy was taken to hospital, where he is said to be in a “serous condition”.

On twitter, Brian May the Queen guitarist, was keen to know more, asking,”Why was the gorilla murdered?” It turns out that May is more moralist than zoologist, ending his question with a series of statements, “No trial – no reason. No excuse. Who will prosecute?”

We’d suggest a  kangaroo court, of which May seems to be a founding member.

Others are less antagonist. The Daily Star says the the gorilla was shot to save the child, who will “make a full recovery”.

The Sun says the “28stone” gorilla was trying to protect the child. And it could be argued he was doing a better job of it than the aforementioned “neglectful” mommy. But, then, surely that is to place the animal on a higher plinth to a human being. To think the child was in no danger requires a leap of fancy. Do we know how a gorilla thinks any more than we do a bat or a frog? A mother and a child we can reason with. A huge gorilla speaks a different language, and when the conversation lulls, Harmabe has massive arms and teeth to support his argument.

In the Mirror, where the story is front-page news and the gorilla is “violently pulling the boy”, Harambe, now boosted to “30-stone”, illustrates the story “Miracle of the Gorilla Boy“. Wow, indeed. The boy falling, his rescue and the slaying of Harambe are all signs of god’s love. Take that May. It’s what god wanted. Divine wonders slew the beast and saved Isaiah, which we’re told the boy is called.

Like Isaiah of old, little Isaiah teaches us to stay on the right path, lest we fall by the wayside or into a gorilla’s lair and cause the loveable critter to be shot dead.

Amen.



Posted: 30th, May 2016 | In: News, Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink