Killer Clown hysteria reaches Watford – and its got a butter knife
Have you seen killer clowns? The Watford Observer reports that a “knife-wielding clown has been spotted near a children’s playground in Watford at 3:30pm.” Cheryl Warby says her children spotted a clown holding a butter knife.
There’s a fashion for pranksters (Times) to dress as clowns costumes to chase, threaten or stare at strangers. It is the “clownpocalypse”.
She Mrs Warby:
“My daughter and two friends were riding their bikes up the Harebreaks towards the adventure playground when a black car fiesta or coarsa [sic] shaped stopped on the roundabout and beeped at them. When they looked they saw a clown face and the person was holding a butter knife he said to the girls ‘I’m a clown with a knife’.
Did the kids have phones to take a snap of the car’s numberplate? Don’t all children have mobiles phone now and dashcam-style devices implanted into their foreheads?
“At this point the girls screamed and rode to the adventure playground where they new they could get help which is when 101 was phoned and it was reported to the police who said they would keep a look out.
“All three girls are scared to go out now.”
Sergeant Steve Alison from the Watford Safer Neighbourhood Team tells us: “Although the people dressing up as clowns may think they are taking part in some harmless fun, they should be mindful of the impact their actions may have on others and be aware that any behaviour that causes another person alarm or distress could lead to them being arrested under the Public Order Act 1986.”
A readers asks: “Can you stab a human being with butter knife?”
Another replies: “Only if they’re at room temperature.”
How about we round up all known clowns and set them on these idiots?
West Briton has news of Cornwall’s “only professional clown” David Rotheram. He said:
“The stories about scary clowns are having a knock on effect – especially for me because as far as I’m aware I am the only professional clown in Cornwall. Ever since scary clowns have been trending on Facebook I’ve noticed a drop in interest.
“Normally I get an inquiry on Facebook everyday but things have gotten seriously quiet. I understand clowning is different and people often have varied opinions – there is definitely a stigma attached but most professional clowns love what they do.
“If the quiet spell continues I will look into re-branding myself and instead of ‘Coz The Clown’ I will just be ‘Coz’ in an attempt to step away from the stigma.”
“I am concerned that if I finish a show and go to the supermarket I will be attacked.”
Randy Christensen, president of the World Clown Association, defends the right kind of clowning:
“If somebody dresses like a doctor and is in a doctor’s smock and is wearing a stethoscope and is in a haunted house and comes at you with a chainsaw, he is not really a doctor.
“Whoever is doing this crazy stuff is not a clown. This is somebody that is trying to use a good, clean wholesome art form and then distort it, trying to gain access to a child. This is not clowning. This person is not a clown.”
Author Stephen King, who gave us the terrifying Pennywise in the novel It, adds:
“Hey, guys, time to cool the clown hysteria — most of em are good, cheer up the kiddies, make people laugh.”
The clown craze has arrived in the UK from the US:
“They say the clowns live deep in the woods, near a house by a pond – At the edge of dark, dark woods in South Carolina, children have been telling adults that a group of clowns have been trying to lure them into the cluster of trees…”
Terrifying stuff. Meanwhile, it’s Halloween at the end of the month when lots of charming little ‘uns knock in disguise on your door and demand goods with menaces, “Trick or treat?” If you do answer the door, take care to put your wig on straight, go easy on the lipstick and remove your surgical boots.
They say the Killer Clown lives at 13 Acacia Avenue – and mums and dads are on their way over with torches and clubs.