Prince Charles would smear a grey squirrel’s tampon in contraceptives
No longer content with dreaming of being Camilla’s tampon, Prince Charles has focused his senses on squirrels’ genitalia, notably those of the invasive grey strain. Charles want to reduce their numbers by giving them contraceptives and thereby increase the number of nuts and nooks for red squirrels to conquer.
The preferred method is not for condoms, pills and and workshops advocating abstinence before marriage, but a drug hidden in chocolate spread. If it work with squirrels, expect the Government to lobby Nutella and makers of supermarket own-brand gunk to do their same to pestered and hated fat people.