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Anorak | Election Day tabloids: Corbyn missing, May mocked and bigots burn Untermensch newspapers

Election Day tabloids: Corbyn missing, May mocked and bigots burn Untermensch newspapers

by | 8th, June 2017

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

It’s “TEZZA v JEZZA” (Daily Star) and the tabloids are going big on the leaders of the country’s two biggest parties.

Which leader’s picture appears most?

 

 

The Daily Star leads with photos of Jeremy Corbyn and Theresa May. Corbyn looks like he’s flicking through some old holiday snaps of his time with Diane Abbott. Theresa May is in full Joyce Grenfell mode. Inside the paper, over pages 2 and 3, both leaders are smiling.

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

It’s just May on the Express cover. No sign of Corbyn until page 12. “We must not let Jeremy Corbyn into Number 10,” says Ross Clark at first sighting of the Labour leader.

 

 

The Mirror finds a horrible picture of May and makes it big and then bigger. Get a load of those nostrils! Gerra load of those bogies up those nostrils!! And then look at the bags below the staring eyes, the teeth, the lips, the lot. Aaaaaah! There is no sign of Corbyn. Where is he?

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

On pages 2-3, we get 7 more pictures of May – and not one of Corbyn. We see and hear from Emily Thornberry, the shadow foreign secretary. We see May with a long Pinocchio hooter.

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

Finally we get to see Jeremy Corbyn on page 4. He’s inviting us to examine the thumb on his right hand. In a smaller photo, we see his right hand held up and open. You wonder what the left hand is doing and if the right hand knows what the left hand is doing.

There are two more pictures of Theresa May. On page 7, there’s a cartoon showing May being kicked – physically kicked – by a battalion of voters.

 

Theresa May the mirror

 

On page 8, we again see May. She’s everywhere in the Mirror.

The Daily Mail leads with May. She is smiling. Her hands are spread wide. The picture is flattering.

Page 4 and May’s back. She’s “fired up”.

Page 9 and we see picture of Diane Abbott. But sill no sign of Jeremy Corbyn. He’s nowhere. There is not one photo of the Labour Party leader in the Mail.

 

Corbyn the sun bin

This man is rubbish – actual rubbish

 

The Sun shows Corbyn on the cover. He’s in the “COR-BIN (geddit?). He is rubbish, actual rubbish. (If anyone fancies a flutter, I’d go each-way on Puppet of Unions in the 3:15).

Over pages 2 and 3, we see two photos of smiling Theresa May.

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

On pages 4 and 5 we see Jeremy Corbyn stood below a sign that says “CRAP”. It did say “SCRAP”  – another sort of rubbish, if you will – but if you crop the ‘S’ it’s changed to “CRAP”.

 

Jeremy Crobyn Theresa May GE17

 

Pages 8-9 and the Sun dresses up Corbyn. We see the now Prime Minister sat on a bench in “derelict Britain”. We get one more photo of a smiling May.

Meanwhile… the kind of people who don’t like tabloids and the Untermensch who read them are burning the things. It really is like the 1930s. And it’s not Nazis shutting down free speech and monstering anyone you don’t agree with – it’s you, the right on fascist spotters! Oh, the irony!

 

GE17 burning newspapers

 

Psst: Any Corbyn fans got a copy of the Jewish Chronicle? It’s full of burning issues.

Vote now and vote often. RAUS!



Posted: 8th, June 2017 | In: Google News, Politicians, Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink