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Anorak | Will Katy Perry apologise for having culturally appropriated ‘gay hair’ and robot music?

Will Katy Perry apologise for having culturally appropriated ‘gay hair’ and robot music?

by | 13th, June 2017

katy perry bot kraftwerk hair

‘Ich bin ein role model’

 

Katy Perry has issued a public apology for having “culturally appropriated” a black hairstyle.

Whites are not allowed to use black hair styles and blacks should not use white hair styles, reasons Katy. Back in your boxes, people. Your bouffant, suedehead, skinhead, mop-top, shaggy perm, bowel cut and mohican is now limited by genes.

To avoid causing offence, and to further individuality, self-expression and freedom, all musicians should cover their heads with wimples, shrouds and Brian Eno wigs (the former Roxy Music band member recognised the link between identity and hair, choosing to cover his luxurious chestnut curls beneath a ‘balding’ helmet, thus securing his ‘brand’ and enduring ‘iconic’ status).

People should not wear metal helmets because the robot community is offended. “The likes of Gary Newman, Kraftwerk, and Daft Punk all pretend to be robots,” says Mr Autotune, partner at Messers Speak ‘n’ Spell PR and a spokesmachine for the robot community. “Their behaviour suppresses robot-kind and perpetuates arcane media narratives of robots as lacking in emotion and incapable of playing anything other than synthesizers.”

Meanwhile, Perry has yet to explain why she’s adopted the hairstyles of a gay man.

 

katy perry julian clary



Posted: 13th, June 2017 | In: Celebrities, News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink