Amy Winehouse Is ‘Living’ In A ‘House’ In The London Clinic
DID you know that Amy Winehouse has “set up house – in the hospital where docs fixed her boobs”?
Amy Winehouse is living in a hospital, says the Star. Having kicked illegal drugs, Amy is now living in a hospital where prescription – legal – drugs are only a press on the bell away, nurses are her maids and fading to black comes after counting down from 10?
The troubled singer has moved into the posh, private London Clinic. Amy Winehouse is living there full-time so she can be monitored by doctors round the clock.
Posted: 22nd, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
I’m A Celebrity: Mitch Winehouse Leaks News Of Amy’s Winehouse’s ‘Leaky’ Breasts
MITCH Winehouse says his daughter Amy Winehosue is in hospital because her “fantastic” breasts are “leaky something or other.”
Amy’s breasts aren’t real breasts, allegedly, they’re two novelty bottles of gin and chocolate Vitamalt attached to optics disguised as nipples. Their attachment means that Amy can never walk on her hand again or enter the British Olympics’ trampoline team for 2012.
Posted: 19th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
THE Week in pictures, featuring Lindsay Lohan’s bag, Rihanna’s woman of the year nipple, The Queen’s massive poppy, Take That reunited with Robbie Williams, Daren Gough doing it for England,The Duke of Beaufort’s Hunt, Nikolai Valuev’s height over David Haye’s mouth, Sesame Street, Amy Winehouse’s chest, JLS going GAY, The Westmisnter Bridge Jumper of London, Sam Fox’s front and more shockers…
Posted: 15th, November 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Sacks Katie Price
THE year is now divided into TV shows: And November means I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!, staring Katie Price in the sack and out of a bikini.
While the BBC’s care home-focused non-dancing dance show Strictly Come Dancing – does anyone allowed to operate the remote control watch it? - ITV follows the X Factor with another hit.
The show features the following celebrities, who would once have been called “personalities” and before that “VIPs”:
George Hamilton – Does the Hollywood legends know the sun cannot reach the jungle floor? Big risk that his tan might suffer. Expects a deep mahogany giving way to light maple as the show progresses.
Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (14) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Amy Winehouse’s New Breasts And Massive Arse In Photos
AMY WINEHOUSE loves her new Jordans and now wants to have some more anaesthetic and balance herself out by getting her bum implanted. She could just wear a God’s Hand bra in her knickers, and blow smoke in to inflate the cups.
Perhaps having a new massive arse dragging behind her will prevent Amy from missing Blake too much? Look out for her getting stuck in lifts and doors. A source explains to the Sun:
“Amy loves her boobs. She can’t stop touching them and showing them off to friends. She says she feels womanly again and wants to be more curvy like she used to be.
“She thinks by having another op and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look.”
Can you stick a pin into an inflatable doll? Winehouse seems prepared to give it a whirl. Those breasts in pictures:
Amy Winehouse’s Breasts Stand Between Her And Lindsay Lohan
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Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
China’s ‘God’s Hand’ Inflatable Bra Commercial Finds A Use For Your Car’s Cigarette Lighter
KATIE Price is finished. Pamela Anderson has had it. Victoria Beckham can be plugged into the car cigarette lighter. Amy Winehouse is valve away from avoiding the anaesthetic. News reaches us from China of the inflatable bra.
The size of your breasts is now only restricted by gravity and the days’ wind report.
And men, you too can look like Simon Cowell, or like Buster Gonad. Cue the video for ‘God’s Hand’ (which is warm):
Translation:
*Male interpreter*
Is her, Is her, her is her AGAIN! she is the same, just that a breast size is different!
*The girl speaks*
When I go to the office, I adjust to B cup. Pretty in every sense!
When I hit the streets, I adjust to a C cup. I bedazzle all the people around me!
When I party, I adjust to a D cup. Hot and Fiery!
*Man interpreter comes back*
B, C, D THREE DIFFERENT SIZES
Posted: 8th, November 2009 | In: The Consumer Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor Playlist: Danyl Johnson Sings Prince’s Purple Rain, Stacey Solomon Does Springfield
ON tonight’s X Factor, Daniel Lloyd will be singing Stand By Me in the manner of Pinocchio before The Change, and Stacey Solomon will squeak out Son Of A Preacherman, not in the style of Amy Winehouse gargling baby milk.
As for the rest – with predictions:
John & Edward: GhostBusters, Ray Parker, Jr. It’s awful. But is it awful enough?
Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor: Joe McElderry Breaks Rib And Stacey Solomon Engaged To Olly Murs
X Factor No News Round-up: Stacey Solomon not Amy Winehouse, Joe McElderry’s rib not broken, Sting’s no X Factor and the Sex Pistols would not win…
Unreality TV: “Mitch Winehouse: ‘Stacey Solomon is NOT The new Amy Winehouse!’”
She’s better?
“Amy and I and the family were watching X Factor and when Rachel got knocked out – we thought it was a complete disaster. We were having a lovely dinner – I was having a chicken vindaloo and Amy was having a chicken Korma and we almost choked – almost put us right off our food. Almost but not quite…”
Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Stacey Solomon On Coke With Amy Winehouse
HAS it escaped the Daily Mail’s notice that X Factor hopeful Stacey Solomon is a single mum? Well, no it hasn’t:
The Dagenham Diva: Single mum Stacey’s wowed the X Factor with her ditzy witterings, but is she the ingénue she seems?
No. Yes. Maybe. Can we vote?
Back home in Dagenham, where Stacey lives with her mum in a street dominated by dreary pebbled-dashed post-war terraces, relieved only by the occasional off-licence or chip shop, net curtains twitched as she arrived home - a welcome flash of glamour…
Net curtains are so retro. It’s all CCTV these days. Go on:
In part, she is representative of what many young single mothers in Britain believe today: that the only way out is if someone waves a magic wand. In Solomon’s case, that someone is millionaire X Factor judge Simon Cowell. In a sense, she is the perfect modern-day Cinderella. From the rag-trade of Whitechapel where her great-grandparents lived at the beginning of the century to the riches of X Factor, she has become the nation’s sweetheart.
Posted: 31st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor: Cheryl Cole’s Sauna, Dannii Minogue’s Playboy Photos And Stacey Solomon’s Police Escort
X FACTOR Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at the X Factor in the news: Cheryl Cole’s mirrored sauna, Dannii Minogue’s Playboy gift, Stacey Solomon’s police escort, Dizzee Rascal and bring back Top of the Pops…
More magazine: “Cheryl Cole : My ‘nemesis’ will get me”
“Looking into her crystal ball of pop she says: ‘My job is make-believe and at the end of the make-believe I’ll always have family. So if I’m blessed, touch wood, I’d love a big family.’”
Cheryl Cole is just over 5ft tall; her husband Ashley Cole is “small”.
Daily Express: “CHERYL’S SECRET POOL PLAN IS SUNK”
CHERYL COLE has lost a battle to build a hidden swimming pool to protect her from Peeping Toms. The X Factor judge wanted an underground gym and pool at her £3.5million home to save her being ogled by photographers and fans.
It’s curtains for Cheryl’s dreams of privacy.
Cheryl and her husband, Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole, are now expected to build the gym and pool – complete with sauna, spa, steam room and bar – above ground in the 12 acres around their home.
Posted: 29th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Amy Winehouse’s Breasts Stand Between Her And Lindsay Lohan
AMY Winehouse’s new breasts were caught in the lift. But they may yet save her life. No-one is looking at Amy’s feet, least of all Amy, her arms, her legs, her face. It’s all about those Jordans.
And in case you missed them. Amy managed to slip them out of their protective wrapping right in front of the paparazzi.
As celebrity watchers know, big false breasts need to be coated in a layer of orangey-brown varnish lest they shrivel like Lindsay Lohan. It’s something that explains why men who play conkers when young are nine times more likely than a non-conker enthusiast to date a glamour model.
Posted: 28th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Amy Winehouse’s New Breasts Get Caught In A Lift At Q Awards: Pictures
AT the Q Awards, Amy Winehouse appeared a few seconds after her new breasts, the ones her dad Mitch calls “fantastic”. Amy also has full lips and a nose covered in freckles that when joined up with a felt tip form a picture of a gibbon hailing a taxi.
Hats off to Amy for helping to give hacks something news to talk about other than her music. When she stopped her drugs, there was a panic. Now Amy has the new breasts ho help us pass the time. Sure, they look like two bald doctors examining her chest, but health is all.
Posted: 26th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Anorak Wraps Up The Week When Lindsay Lohan Died And Nick Griffin Forgot His Lines
THAT was the week when: Lindsay Lohan died, Nick Griffin twitched, Cheryl Cole had the Y Factor, India’s call centre workers exploded, Stephen Gately died - again; Madeleine McCann became a mascot - but not a Halloween outfit - and James Arthur Ray didn’t break sweat…
Sunday October 19:
Only Video Of Anne Frank Emerges
Cheryl Cole’s X Factor Lap Dance Undoes Whitney Houston’s Dress
Someone should have told Whitney Houston that you don’t need a wardrobe malfunction to be British pop star, you just need to come on stage dressed as a lap dancer and get mum, dad and the kids to clap along.
Indian BT Worker ‘Bombs’ British Customer’s House
“I’m disgusted that something like this can happen with such a respected company. The whole thing has been upsetting. It doesn’t get much worse than someone - a stranger - saying he is going to blow you up.”
Posted: 23rd, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Amy Winehouse’s Dad Mitch Says Her Breasts Are ‘Fantastic’
WHEN Amy Winehouse moved overseas, Mitch Winehouse waited. He and a bit. But mostly he waited.
Now Mitch is on This Morning. Philip Schofield says Mitch wrote his daughter’s obituary. Mitch says he didn’t. Schofield wonders if he’s sure? Mitch is sure.
While the researcher fetches her coat, Mitch talks about educating MPs on how to improve treatment for drug addicts. Mitch has a cause. And Holly Willoughby gives full throat to more bad research, saying that “offending addicts” go to prison and get treatment.
Posted: 22nd, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Starsuckers: The Guardian Gloats
THE Starsuckers film that exposes the tabloid press is a good watch. It’s also front-page news in the Guardian. But as Tim Worstall points out, no newspaper is immune to a bad story:
Of course, at The Guardian they manage to do this entirely on their own, without any outside help. Remember that 6 month investigation into Tesco’s tax avoidance? You know, how they were avoiding £1 billion in corporation tax? And it actually turned out that they were using exactly the same techniques as Guardian Media Group to reduce a (much, much smaller) stamp duty bill?
At least the Guardian were investigating. It also show that the Guardian’s board do not kill their writers’ stories. Not all news organs bother to investigate at all. Now read:
Mainstream Media Exposes Its Bigotry With Rush Limbaugh Racism Fakes
Posted: 15th, October 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Starsuckers: Amy Winehouse’s Hair Catches Fire In Michael Jackson Tribute
Starsuckers - new film exposes how Amy Winehouse’s hair caught fire in trouching tribute to Michael Jackson…
IN Starsuckers, a group of documentary film makers in London’s Brick Lane take on the role of actual tabloid journalists by trying to plant fake celebrity stories in the national press.
Says the film’s director Chris Atkins in the Guardian:
“We consumed a lot of coffee thinking about it. How can we do this intelligently? How can we prove our point? But how can we make it funny?”
It’s a great idea. Not too long ago, we got a call from big TV production company asking to speak with Barry Richards, 16, a pupil at the Wat Tyler comprehensive in Grays, and a leading member of the Essex Young Conservatives.
His book, The Little Blue Schoolbook, was a riposte to controversial Little Red Schoolbook, which was published in the UK earlier this year. But whereas the original enjoins pupils to organise strikes and demonstrations, Richards’ version extols the virtues of obedience, patriotism and polished shoes.
Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Amy Winehouse Showcases New Breasts On Strictly Come Dancing
AMY Winehouse has had a boob job. So says the Sun, which tells us that the boob job is “SECRET” because Amy didn’t tell the papers she was having it done.
Winehouse also failed to have her breasts enlarged in St Lucia, so failing to give tabloid hacks another reason to jet to the sunshine and comment on her bikini. Instead she had her boobs done in the secret exotica of London - where the Sun is, er, based.
And Winehouse had had her breasts enlarged, which may or may not be the “routine procedure” her spokesperson tells of.
Winehouse is “BACK TO STACKED”.
Wino’s new breasts retail at £35k, For that you get a hospital stay, two 32D-cup bags and recovery time, with discounts for anyone bringing their own anaesthetics.
Posted: 10th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Amy Winehouse And Blake On Come Dine With Me, In Pictures
AMY Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are back together. And the good news is that their romance is being enacted in the hygienic glare of Facebook and over a dinner table.
As the Sun tells us:
The pair - caught having sex soon after their August divorce - swapped sugary messages.
No, not brown sugar. This is sugar as in the sweetness and syrup:
Singer Amy, 26, logged on to the social networking site at 7am to remind him about old times. She said: “I found a picture of you three boys in our old bathroom - I fink you’ll remember it.”
Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Amy Winehouse, Gallery Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor Amie Buck’s Sex In A Peugeot 306
GREAT news of X Factor agonist Amie Buck, the surgicall enhanced Amy Winehouse look-alike warbler who paid for her new breasts through stripping (surely she put herself through law school – Ed) and now occupies minds in the media:
X Factor stripper Amie Buck is such an ardent lover of football players that she could even end up with a soccer team of her own.
On the mantelpiece in her house? It turns out that Amie has not a collection of football dolls, but a harvest of real-life football gonks:
Buck, 22, is currently dating Arsenal ace Kieran Gibbs, 20, but he’s not the first footballer she has dated.
Posted: 28th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jack Tweed’s Suicide Watch With Jade Goody
JACK Tweed says he wants to kill himself. In “JACK: I WANT TO KILL MYSELF”, the News of The World places Mr Jade Goody on suicide watch – “nor death shall us part”.
Beneath a picture of Tweed, readers are told:
QUIET NIGHT IN: Prison beans and orange squash is far from Jack Tweed’s usual Champagne style
One would venture that Tweed is sipping on “prison orange squash”. But we should not interrupt the facts as Jack’s mum, Mary Tweed, tells her story to the tabloids, and so – finally! – welcomes a bona fide outlet of Jade Goody Industries.
THE distraught mum of rape charge widower Jack Tweed told yesterday of her torment at seeing her “baby” in prison and hearing him threaten to take his own life.
Posted: 27th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
- Terry on X Factor Live: Jedward Do Jive Bunny, Olly Murs Is The Man And Danyl Johnson Is Careless
- Shelley on I’m A Celebrity: Katie Price To Marry ‘Dumped’ Alex Reid In Jungle
- Anorak on Madeleine McCann And The Wanted ‘James Bond’ Spy
- scotfree on Madeleine McCann And The Wanted ‘James Bond’ Spy
- June on Oxford Man Parks By Downing Street And Has Car Blown Up
