Michael Jackson Was Under Hypnosis

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Uri Geller puts Michael Jackson in a trance…

Anorak’s lead sports writer did as Uri Geller commanded before Euro ‘96 - the blonde went to the TV svcreen and she touched the orange ball. Uri was right. England won the tournament and all was made good.

Now Uri Geller tells Channel 4 about how he used his magic to heel Michael Jackson’s troubled mind:

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Anorak

Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Media Duped By Michael Jackson Tribute Hoax

MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Jackson is dead and Gordon Brown - as ever - arrives to say a few words:

“This is very sad news for the millions of Michael Jackson fans in Britain and around the world The Prime Minister’s thoughts are with Michael Jackson’s family at this time.”

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Anorak

Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Lawyer: Michael Jackson Death Same As Anna-Nicole Smith

MICHAEL Jackson’s lawyer says his death was the result of his preparations for his London gigs next month and the drugs he was downing to kill pain from stage training injuries.

Jackson had plunged back into a regimen of pain-killer popping after injuries while trying get into shape for his comeback.

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Anorak

Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Anna Nicole Smith And Nadya Suleman’s Backdoor Gangbang

WITH new life breathed into the Anna Nicole Smith Story, Anroak’s Man In LA looks at how TMZ is now setting the news agenda for the New York Times. Corporate media truly is in a state of crisis:  

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Anorak

Posted: 14th, March 2009 | In: Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Anna Nicole Smith’s A Slapper

“ANNA Nicole Loved KINKY SEX!” says the Enquirer.

Las Vegas illusionist Steve Wyrick says he met Anna Nicole at one of his shows. “After the show ended she came on stage, and we filmed a segment with me levitating her.”

This is not the kinky sex. We will get to that. Anna Nicole was lifted off the ground by magic.

Steve says Anna Nicole began flirting with him. She took his hand and pulled him backstage. They began kissing.

“She suddenly said ‘Slap me!” says Wyrick. “I didn’t know what she meant, so she said, ‘Like this’ – and she backhanded me across the face! I would never hit a woman, but I was really aroused.”

Oh?

“Then she unzipped my pants and started to give me oral sex. The weird thing is that we had microphone belt packs on - it was all being recorded!”

Is that so?

“Afterwards, we walked out to centre stage and everyone was looking at us.” On stage, right? “I’m sure they all heard us – including Howard and Larry!”

Howard is Howard K Stern, Anna Nicole’s lawyer. Larry is photographer Larry Birkhead, father to Anna Nicole’s daughter Danielynn.

Later, Wyrick says Anna Nicole came to his room and they had sex. “She just kept saying ‘Pop me’ - and she also wanted me to choke her with my hands while we made love!”

Wyrick says he wouldn’t do it. But he allowed Anna Nicole to do it to him. “After about three hours she left my room.”

It’s a delightful story, and one that we are surprised Wyrick didn’t make public while Anna Nicole was still alive.

Perhaps, having already experienced her slap, he thought better of it?

Anorak

Posted: 11th, April 2007 | In: Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Anna Nicole’s Blue Lady

ANNA Nicole Smith is blue.

Orange celebrities are things of the past as the Enquirer unzips the body bag containing what’s left of Anna Nicole and looks at her “ashen blue” lips.

For those interested in getting the Anna Nicole look, the skin is a light graphite grey, the hair a greenish blonde and the breast implants removed, perhaps for questioning.

And as the body is laid out in the employee dining area at the Broward County Medical Examiner’s office, we bring answers.

Anna was not killed by drugs. Anna was killed by a severe case of pneumonia.

The Enquirer tells us that Anna Nicole’s drugs intake masked the respiratory condition and took away the pain.

But the combination of Valium, Vicodin and Percocet quickened the effects of her condition.

A Dr Mary Ann Malloy tells us that the drugs can “depress breathing and prevent a person from coughing up fluid in the lungs caused by pneumonia”.

The result can be – as we can see from the pictures – death.

In blue…

Anorak

Posted: 9th, March 2007 | In: Media Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0