Cross-Dressing John Kenley Is A Life Ignored
RIP John Kenley. Anorak’s Man In LA remembers the cross-dressing, hermaphroditic theatre star being ignored by the big media:
ADD the Los Angeles Times to the mainstream media outlets that leave the most colorful part of a great person’s life out of the story. The LA Times is a couple of days behind the New York Times in reporting the death at 103 of John Kenley, the Ohio summer stock theatre impresario known for casting television and movie stars including Burt Reynolds, Mae West, William Shatner and Joe Namath in popular plays and musicals.
We were doing a bit of quick research Sunday morning to see if he’d brought The Hudson Brothers to Ohio, when we discovered that the famously-closeted Merv Griffin had outed the beloved Mr. Kenley as an alleged “registered” hermaphrodite, and that the producer lived half the year in Florida as “Joan”.
Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Police Arrest West Ham Firm For Pretending To Be Hooligans
Police appeal for information leading to the arrest of six notorious West Ham actors.
THE media loves football violence, just loves it. Scotland Yard loves it as well. Without the threat of football violence, policemen would never get to exercise their equal opportunities credentials by being rude and threatening to red and blues, red and whites, yellows and some other non-blacks. It also gives the police the chance to test out new baton techniques and gases, and walk on the hallowed turf.
So much do the police love football violence that they have issued 66 pictures of West Ham fans caught in acts of organised violence back in August as the Hammers played Millwall.
You may recognise six of the hooligans as being actors in the TV film The Firm. This is method acting at the edges of legality.
Posted: 31st, October 2009 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price’s Alleged Rapist Speaks Out
KATIE Price says she was raped by a “very famous” celebrity and the clues to the rapist’s identity come thicker and faster than Jack Tweed on his way to jail.
Whoooa! Tweed is not the rapist; he’s innocent. That is a fact. Other top celebrities who did not rape Katie Price include Michael Jackson, James Dean, Bobby Charlton, Susan Boyle, the Queen Mother and Nookie Bear.
The Daily Mirror takes up the cry of the nation and screams from its front page: “TELL US WHO RAPED YOU.”
Defiant Jordan yesterday told police they were wasting their time trying to get her to name the star she alleges raped her.
Detectives vowed to probe the sex attack allegations and asked her to tell them who the celebrity was. They said: “If you make an official complaint, we will investigate this crime.”
Posted: 18th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery, Key Posts Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Summer Of Death: Rolling Stones’ Brian Jones Was Murdered
IT’S the summer of death and we are made to remember that before Michael Jackson there was Brian Jones - the former Rolling Stones guitarist died 40 years ago.
Now Jones’s death is to be reviewed in light of new evidence. No, not a new Rolling Stones anniversary tribute. Well, not yet. New evidence of a crime.
Jones’ body was found at the bottom of a swimming pool at a house in Cotchford farm, Hartfield, East Sussex in July 1969.
Dead. End of story. Well, no. In showbiz no-one dies any more. The resting star just enters a new phase in their career development. And the Celebrity Police Force, the CFP, do so love meeting a star.
News is that the Sussex CPF have been handed new information on Jones’s death.
Back then, the coroner’s report stated “Death by misadventure“.
Jones’s lover, the Swedish Anna Wohlin (pictured), said she had dived into the pool and pulled him out and given him artificial respiration. But he died.
At the inquest, PC Albert Evans said that he had found at the scene a small bottle of brandy, a vodka bottle, a bottle of whisky and a number of containers containing different types of pills.
In the film ‘Stoned‘, the theory that Jones was murdered is explored. Stoned advances the not unheard but so far unproven view that the hapless ex-Stone was done away with by his disgruntled, one-eyed builder, the late Frank Thorogood…
A dead builder. A dead star. And a mystery.
Posted: 30th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kerry Katona In Fight For Kids And Installs CCCTV
KERRY Katona, formerly Kerry McPadding, is in “Kerry cop quiz”, embroiled in allegations that she has taken cocaine.
While Anorak investigates if bi-polar medication can be snorted, the Sun says Kerry’s Kapers could be the last, er, straw:
TROUBLED Kerry Katona will be quizzed by police on Monday about her cocaine-snorting shame.
The Sun knows it was cocaine – just knows it:
Katona, 28, was keeping mum yesterday when she returned from holiday in Tenerife with husband Mark Croft. But she must explain to cops how she ended up being filmed secretly in her home taking the Class A drug.
Anorak suspects the teddy bear cam, or the Celebrity Police Force’s new CCCTV, which are to be installed in every celebrity’s house in the UK. CCCTV will alert the CPF to any wrongdoing and with it the opportunity for a meet and greet.
Meanwhile, Kerry marked the outing of her anthrax-snorting video by jetting off on her holidays:
A pal of the I’m A Celebrity winner said: “She has been totally stressed out on this holiday. She has told her inner circle of friends that she doesn’t want police at her house because she doesn’t want her kids to see them. But she has resigned herself to the fact that she has a lot of explaining to do. It has been just about the worst week of her life.”
But while Kerry takes the waters and the ice crystals, the Star says:
“BRIAN: I’LL TAKE KIDS”
Posted: 22nd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jermain Defoe Arrested By Celebrity Police Force
JERMAIN Defoe, of Tottenham and England, has been arrested.
As the Mirror screams from its front page:
“DEFOE FURY – England ace wrongly arrested and held by cops for five hours”
The Mirror calls them “bungling cops”. But Anorak readers will recognise them for what they are: the Celebrity Police Force. Their mission is to be photographed with as many famous people as possible. Today, the CPF meets Jermain Defoe:
Footballer Jermain Defoe was “unlawfully” arrested today on suspicion of driving while disqualified, his lawyer said. Defoe’s solicitor said the Tottenham and England striker was not disqualified but had been held for more than five hours at a police station in Harlow, Essex.
Driving while disqualified should not be confused with DWB (Driving While Black), which though not a crime, yet, is frowned upon by some police.
Essex Police said the arrest had been based on “inaccurate” information held on a computer.
In interview Defoe was asked about his driving, his licence, his best ever goal, why-oh-why he left West Ham and if Chantelle Houghton sleeps on her back.
Posted: 28th, July 2009 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jonathan Rhys Meyers Arrested In Paris
BUSY times at the Celebrity Police Force as actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers is arrested at an airport in Paris yesterday, in connection with an alleged attack on a waiter.
Rhys Meyers is arrested at a Paris airport and charged with “willful violence, outrage, hitting and threatening death”.
What price our British CPF meeting Meyers at London Airport for a photo opportunity?
Robbie Williams In Raffles Crime Caper
Posted: 25th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Robbie Williams In Raffles Crime Caper
ROBBIE Williams is being quizzed by the armed department of the Celebrity Police Force (CPF).
The Sun, which leads with this news, says the quiz centres on “this photo”, a picture which shows a wet Williams wearing a blue life jacket while smoking a cigarette.
The crimes are all too obvious, but what of the quiz?
ROBBIE Williams is being quizzed by police probing an armed robbery carried out by three thugs.
Posted: 25th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Perez Hilton Attacks Man For Being Gay
POLO Molina, tour manager of the Black Eyed Peas, has been arrested and charged with assault following an alleged attack on Perez Hilton. An assult in which Hilton was - get this - heard to call Peas’ singer will.i.am a “faggot“, allegedly.
Perez Hilton is so powerful he can just wait and the showbiz news comes to him.
From a gadget close to the Cobra nightclub, Toronto, Hilton gathered himself and did what anyone who had been assaulted would do: he Twittered:
“I’m in shock. I need the police ASAP.”
ASAP (America Star-spotters Assault Police) is the US version of Britain’s CPF, the Celebrity Police Force who are only ever a small shout away from a photo opportunity and autograph.
Posted: 23rd, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Lindsay Lohan Questioned By Police Over Missing Jewellery
THE Celebrity Police Force is on the trail of Lindsay Lohan. Lohan is to be questioned in connection with the disappearance of £30,000 worth of jewellery from a shoot she did for Elle magazine.
Lohan was allegedly “taken back” by the jewellery.
Says a source:
“She kept going on about the jewels asking if she could have them. We all thought she was joking!”
The CPF are on the case. The British police always get photographed with their celebrity, and Lohan is a prized picture.
Posted: 15th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SWINE Flu is upon us - the United Nations, and not-so-United nations tremble:
A patient suffering from swine flu has died in hospital, it emerged tonight.
The patient had underlying health conditions and was one of ten people who were being treated in hospital in Scotland.
It is the first death in the UK of someone confirmed as having swine flu.
Posted: 14th, June 2009 | In: Media, Scare Stories Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Pete Doherty Arrested For Drugs
LOOK it’s Peter Doherty, aka Peter Doherty, aka Pop F**kwit, getting arrested in Gloucester.
Call Dr Foster, because there are bound to be drugs involved.
Posted: 11th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Amy Winehouse Serenades Jade Goody
AMY Winehouse has been away. No, not collared by the Celebrity Police Service. Winehouse has been away in the Caribbean.
While you were watching Jade Goody, Winehouse returned to Blighty, to shows Brits what we’ve been missing by pleading not guilty to assaulting a dancer called Sherene Flash in central London last year.
It is rumoured that after the alleged offence, Wino did then fall to the floor performing her trademark impression of a hairdressing junior’s sweepings and screamed Blaaaaake.
Winehouse appeared at Westminster magistrates court to deny the charge. The press looks at the case of Amy Jade Civil. She pleads: not guilty.
Posted: 17th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Dick Cheney Teams Up With Bin Laden For Nostalgia Show
VICE President Dick Cheney says capturing Osama bin Laden is something the Bush administration “clearly would love to do” in the last few weeks in office.
Speaking on “Fox News Sunday” Cheney says bin Laden has been holed up in “such a way that there are questions about whether he is even running the al-Qaeda operation”.
Posted: 21st, December 2008 | In: Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Di Another Day: Kate Middleton’s Car Phone
CALL the Celebrity Police Force. But we cannot. They are without a head, and the celeb’s face may not adorn the halls of Scotland Yard posing with a young CPC.
As Sun Page 3 stunna Keeley says: “Surely Kate can afford a hands-free kit… or she could get Wills to buy her one.” On a squaddies wage… No chance.
The Sun’s front-page reveals that Kate Middleton has been spotted driving a car while talking on a mobile telephone.
Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kate Middleton, Royal Family, Tabloids Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Emergency As Celebrity Police Force Misses Arrest
SIR Ian Blair is gone, and the Celebrity Police Force is looking for a new leader to be tough on celebrity crime. (Surely have his picture taken with some of the country’s best lag talent? – Ed).
And while the search goes on, the Star brings news that Big Brother reject Rex Nomark has, allegedly, smashed someone in the face with his belt.
In other times the alleged victim, known only as John, would be invited to give a statement to police, and the CPF would haul Rex in to the station for photos and autographs.
Posted: 7th, October 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, TV & Radio Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
TMZ reports that Heather Locklear was pulled over while driving in the Santa Barbara area, and the Celebrity Police Force are “conducting tests to determine if Locklear was under the influence of drugs”.
And if not, why not?
And here’s the rub:
This could set up a bizarre custody battle given that Locklear and ex-hubby Richie Sambora have both been busted for similar charges.
Sambora pleaded no contest to DUI back in Marc…
Bizzare, how? Do we see who the CPF spends more time with and give them the child..?
Posted: 28th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Twitterings Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
CPF Bans Pete Doherty’s Whirlpool Effect
MORE news from the Celebrity Police Force which has issued a statement that reads:
“The issue is not the act itself, it is the profile of fans that follow the act. Wiltshire police do not have an issue with Pete Doherty or Babyshambles.”
Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Kate Moss and Pete Doherty Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chief Willy Bratton Of The CPF Wants Lindsay Lohan To Go Straight
HANDS across the ocean as the British Celebrity Police Force exports its message to America.
There, Los Angeles police Chief William Bratton is wondering about his working day and that the paparazzi have gone quiet. Says he:
“If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving, Paris is out of town not bothering anybody, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don’t seem to have much of an issue.”
Oh, for those halcyon days when a copper could get his picture or on the nightly news in the paper stood alongside a jobbing celebrity. But, worry not, Bratton, Paris will return, Britney will get naked and Lohan shall bottle her lesbianism and sell it as her new scent.
Posted: 2nd, August 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Celebrities, Lindsay Lohan, Police Log Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Shannon Doherty Needs The Celebrity Police Force
YOU may remember Shannen Doherty for her portrayal of a whiny American who wore ugly pullovers and hugged herself a lot in Beverley Hills 90210.
Now you can see Doherty playing a whiny middle-aged American mom who wears cardigans and hugs herself a lot in Beverly Hills 90210-2.
Shannen Doherty is big news. Here she is going into the Sheriff’s Department in Lost Hills (Malibu) to complain about paparazzi following her.
Posted: 28th, July 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Celebrities, Police Log Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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