X Factor: Danyl Johnson ‘Touches’ Olly Murs and Lucie Jones’ Sex Life
X FACTOR: It’s Ex-week in the tabloids, as the X Factor singers’ former loves tells all, featuring the exes of Joe McElderry, Cheryl Cole and Lucie Jones, plus Dannii Minogue’s womb and Danyl Johnsons on Olly Murs skin, literally…
Olly Murs and Danyl Johnson are getting close, allegedly:
Daily Mirror: “Essex boy OLLY MURS is complaining about gay Danyl’s over-friendly “‘touchyfeeliness’ in the house.”
Is Olly’s Essex-ness relevant to his views on “gay” Danyl? Who is Olly complaining to? Anyone smell homophobia? Lots to investigate. Is Jan Moir free to help? In any case, Olly is spoken for:
The Star: “OLLY NICE PROBLEM”
Busty glamour girl Chantelle Houghton says she fancies the pants off the cheeky chappy.
Posted: 8th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price And Peter Andre In Slash Horror
MORE Peter Andre and Katie Price news as amid a fight at the Mayfair Hotel, bookmakers slash the odds of the pair reunited their camera crews and giving it one more shot.
Ladbrokes has reduced the odds of a Peter Andre-Katie Price re-renewal of vows (they renewed their vows on a TV show having made their original vows before God and OK!) from 100/1 to 4/1.
Whether he bookmakers would take money from Katie or Peter’s PR camps is a moot point. The odds are one thing, the size of the betting market another. A wager of anything over a pound might be turned down by the bookmakers, suspicious of fixing.
One day on from news of a reconciliation, Peter Andre, along with Mel B, her husband Stephen Belafonte, Chantelle Houghton and Nicola McLean are dining with Katie’s former agent Claire Powell at the Mayfair Hotel. That’s them bathed in an orangey glow sat before plates covered in hand-reared breast meat.
Posted: 8th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Peter Andre Advertises For Sex, Katie Price Breastfeeds
NEWLY divorced TV married couple Peter Andre and Katie Price contine to make news. Anorak rounds up the sensation:
NoTW: “Saint Pete get dirty”.
This is Saint Peter who says Katie Price makes “dirty money” from her career? This is Saint Peter pictured with his shirt off and his breasts out. This is Peter cocking an arm behind his head and wearing a T-shirt bearing the legend:
“Thursday October 22… Come and Get Me.”
He’ll be in Ikea by the lightbulbs.
The Aussie singer vowed to remain celibate when his marriage to Jordan collapsed. But after five months he has finally picked the day he can have sex again - Thursday, October 22, one day after the divorce becomes final.
Hey, kids, read about your dad’s shag life today? As Pete told the NoTW previously:
I don’t want to get into any slanging matches because I worry about my kids. I’m aware that at some stage they’ll want to go on the internet, read what happened, and see what was said, and I don’t want them to read anything bad their dad has said about their mum.
See: Dignified Peter Andre Slams Katie Price’s Strawberry Ripples
As for Katie…
Daily Mirror: “KATIE CAN’T BEAR TO BE ALONE..SHE IS IN A STATE”
“I’m like a swan,” she told one pal. “Serene and calm on top, but underneath the water I’m paddling like hell.”
But thanks to those Jordans in no immediate risk of drowning.
Meanwhile, Katie is said to be tiring of cage fighter boyfriend Alex Reid - even suggesting he go for plastic surgery to “correct” his looks.
Hey, if those looks got Dean Gaffney a starring role in EastEnders, why change?
Or as Katie says on her TV show, also spotted by the informative Mirror:
“Alex is 100 per cent proper man. Especially sexually.”
But the big shocker is on the cover of the Daily Star:
Daily Star: “I’m new mum to Jordan’s kids”
Who is it?
KATIE PRICE’S arch enemy Nicola McLean has been playing stepmum to her kids. The busty I’m A Celeb… star has just got back from a holiday with Peter Andre at his villa in Marbella.
Katie Price shags homophonous Andre Pinto and Peter Andre’s new stand-in mummy is a Jordan clone? Are they moving on are just circling the celebrity plug hole picking up what they can on the way down.
Here’s caring Nicola, standing on the Jordanettes to peek into the papers:
“Katie will hate it but I’ve been getting really close to both Pete and their kids, especially Junior. Me and Tommy [her husband] have been staying with Pete at his villa in Marbella. We had such a great time and Junior became a bit obsessed with me. He didn’t want to leave my side. He’s so adorable and such an inquisitive little boy. He kept asking me if I loved him and his brother and sister to which I said, ‘Yes’.
Nice stuff form lovely Nicola. Any reason why she’s with Pete?
The frosty relationship soured even more when Jordan’s old manager Claire Powell started looking after Nicola just weeks after dumping the mum-of-three.
Just like she starting handling Chantelle Houghton, another Jordan Lite.
Katie Price might not be all that likeable but she functions as the huge celebrity beast from which wannabe ticks feed, parasites suckling at her breasts hoping for an injection of fame and cash and coming away with a mouthful of bitter dry sand….
Katie Price career in pictures.
Posted: 13th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price Introduces Peter Andre’s Mysterious Lover
KATIE Price - Peter Andre Divorce: Yesterday, Katie Price was on the This Morning sofa telling daytime telly watchers about her rape, that “darkest secret”. And that Peter Andre – who we heard knew nothing of the rapes – “He knows who the person is.”
So it was the same person who raped her “more than once”. But while Katie looks to a career as a self-defence anti-rape campaigner, she also cocks a glance towards Peter Andre, who is sending us a boast card by way of the boys at Matrix Pictures. Peter is in Marbella.
Says Katie Price:
“Pete is seeing a girl, it’s not come out yet but it’s slowly coming out because I’ve read about it. I’ll be fine about it though, as long as they are good to the children, that’s all I ask.”
Katie Price is now getting news on her estranged husband by reading about it? Can you trust all that you read?
The Star is sure that you can and delivers the front-page screamer:
“LIAR Peter’s Got A Secret Lover”
Is he? Who is this lover? And how secret would this lover have to be to avoid being photographed and filmed as she goes about with Sentimental Pete? The Star equips its front page with a shot of Jordan-lite Chantelle Houghton. It then sticks to the facts:
BITCHY Kate Price yesterday humiliated hubby Peter Andre by blurting out on national TV that he has a secret lover.
This is “sour-faced Kate”.
The Star investigates Katie’s claim by calling Peter Andre’s agent on speed dial - from the same firm that now represents Chantelle Houghton and no longer services Jordan. Such is the state of the news business:
Peter’s spokesman said last night: “This is categorically 100% untrue. Peter is very ready to start dating again but we only wish he had the time and the freedom to go out on a date with anyone.”
Peter Andre lacks freedom? What constrains him? Yes, he is still married. But can it be that he is trapped in the media narrative that has Peter The Good taking on Katie The Bad?
In which case, he should know that the media likes nothing more than bringing down the good and saving the bad….
Posted: 4th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (22) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price Inflates Chantelle As Peter Andre Ends It All
KATIE Price and Peter Andre divorce: Chantelle Houghton’s promoted at Princess Tiaamii’s birthday, Jordan’s upset, Jordan the TV mogul and Peter Andre will not say anything more about it LIVE on Sky News…
STV: “Katie Price ‘not happy’ Chantelle met her kids”
Katie Price has admitted that she is unhappy that Chantelle Houghton has been introduced to her kids, a report claims.
In case the kidzzzz mistake Chantelle Houghton, for it is she, for their lookalike mum? And what of Katie Price’s partially sighted son Harvey who may start to think the he is in the care of not two but four giant space hoppers? Indeed, given how much mum’s face has altered, Harvey can glue a serving spoon onto a pair of watermelons and never be far from a mother figure.
The glamour model’s estranged husband Peter Andre invited the Celebrity Big Brother winner to Princess Tiaamii’s second birthday party, according to Now! magazine. Katie, who is currently dating cage fighter Alex Reid, said: “I was not happy.
“I have kept my mouth shut on this for a couple of weeks but it has upset me. She doesn’t even know my children so I cannot understand why she is at the party.”
To pop out of the cake? To twist her inflatables into the shape of a dog? Says a Peter Andre source in The People:
“She was invited to the party because she belongs to the same management company as Pete.”
Posted: 13th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price Bursts Over Peter Andre
IN this week’s OK! magazine: “JORDAN EXPLODES!”
It had to happen. The human body can only take so much pressure.
But Jordan is not dead. Little bits of orange skin and silicon rain are not falling on a weeping world. Jordan is alive. And she wasn’t to tell OK! readers about her and Pete.
Posted: 29th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jermain Defoe Arrested By Celebrity Police Force
JERMAIN Defoe, of Tottenham and England, has been arrested.
As the Mirror screams from its front page:
“DEFOE FURY – England ace wrongly arrested and held by cops for five hours”
The Mirror calls them “bungling cops”. But Anorak readers will recognise them for what they are: the Celebrity Police Force. Their mission is to be photographed with as many famous people as possible. Today, the CPF meets Jermain Defoe:
Footballer Jermain Defoe was “unlawfully” arrested today on suspicion of driving while disqualified, his lawyer said. Defoe’s solicitor said the Tottenham and England striker was not disqualified but had been held for more than five hours at a police station in Harlow, Essex.
Driving while disqualified should not be confused with DWB (Driving While Black), which though not a crime, yet, is frowned upon by some police.
Essex Police said the arrest had been based on “inaccurate” information held on a computer.
In interview Defoe was asked about his driving, his licence, his best ever goal, why-oh-why he left West Ham and if Chantelle Houghton sleeps on her back.
Posted: 28th, July 2009 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price Creates The Jordanettes Tribute Act
PETER Andre employs Can Associates PR. Chantelle Houghton employs Can Associates PR. Peter Andre used to be deeply in love with Katie Price, who is no longer represented by Can Associates.
Chantelle Houghton is a bit part Katie Price – literally. If you want to get on, attach yourself to Jordan. Andre and Houghton are the Jordanettes, a Katie Price tribute act.
Posted: 6th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chantelle Houghton Is Paris Hilton Is Katie Price
CHANTELLE Houghton once worked as a Paris Hilton look-alike. Then she lassoed Katie Price’s go-it-alone Jordans to her chest and changed direction.
Now, as we reported, Chantelle has signed with Katie Price’s former agents, Can Associates, and so begins her new outing as Jilton, a Jordan Paris Hilton hybrid of neon hair and massive Jordans.
Posted: 25th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chantelle Houghton Signs For Jordan’s Old Agents
HAVING strapped on Katie Price’s Jordans, glued on the off-cuts and applied the wood stain to make her impermeable to shame’s daggers, Big Brother winner emeritus Chantelle Houghton has signed for Can Associates.
And, yes, that is the same PR firm that once took care of Katie Price - and continues to manage Peter Andre.
Posted: 24th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price And Me: The Other Women Tell All
WANT to know what Ulrika Jonsson thinks of Katie Price and Peter Andre – “the split that ROCKED showbiz”?
THE other story in the Katie Price - Peter Andre split is Katie & Me – a narrative featuring any number of jobbing celebrities applying to give their views on the big story.
First up is Katie’s “former love rival” Mel B, aka Scary Spice.
The ex-Spice Girl – who dated Peter 12 years ago – urged the singer not to throw his marriage away, saying: “Please take Katie back.”
Posted: 21st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Men Choose Gail Trimble Over Chantelle Houghton
SURVEY discovers that “Men would rather date beautiful bimbos than ugly, clever women”.
They want Chantelle Houghton and not Gail Trimble.
Posted: 20th, March 2009 | In: Media Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chantelle Houghton Bags Jermain Defoe
IT was ever going to be so for Chantelle Houghton, erstwhile Big Brother winner, wearer of the gargantuan Jordans and now Wag to Tottenham Hotspur footballer Jermain Defoe, a man caught in a time loop.
One year ago, the News of the World told us:
“SPURS ace Jermain Defoe rolls off the busty mistress he has kept secret for an astonishing SEVEN YEARS… and plants the cups of her giant 36GG bra on his head.”
Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
On The Sofa With Jordan’s Off-Cuts
CHANTELLE Houghton is a Big Brother housemate emeritus.
And now the Big Brother fanzine known as the Daily Star brings front-page news: “MY MARRIAGE WAS A BIG BROTHER FAKE.”
Chantelle, a woman comprised of Jordan’s rendered off-cuts – bits of Jordan are pressed together and piled onto Chanelle in the manner of chicken fillets onto a shish kebab - is on the telly with Piers Morgan in his show The Dark Side Of Fame.
Says she:
Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Big Brother: Dale Dates Chantelle Houghton And Wales Declares War On Rex
BIG BROTHER ends tonight, and the Daily Star, heat, OK! and Closer magazines look forward to some new fodder to stick atop the EU Celebrity mountain.
First up, we learn that “REX OUT TO DEATH THREATS”.
The Star says Rex is “public Enemy Number One In Wales.”
Whereas the rest of the UK fears Osama bin Laden, Noel Edmonds and the Hadron Collider, Wales concerns itself with a sarcastic chef.
Posted: 5th, September 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, TV & Radio, Tabloids Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Quote On The Day: Peter Andre On Jordan I And II
CELEBRITY Quote of the Day: Peter Andre on Jordan and Chantelle Houghton
“It might not be deliberate, but Chantelle is looking more like Kate everyday. I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”
Imitation. No real, then..?
Posted: 5th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jordan and Peter Andre Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chantelle And Jordan: When Chests Go Wild
“CHANTELLE can’t control her chest,” says the Sun’s Gordon Smart.
It’s following her around the room. It’s got a mind of its own. It cannot be contained. What can Chantelle Houghton do?
Jordan knows. Says she: “Chantelle isn’t me. She was really nice in Celebrity Big Brother but she should have stuck with her true self. She’s never going to do all of what I do. I’ve been there, done it and bought the T-shirts, with the boobs packed in.”
Those gargantuan Jordans come with a free T-shirt? We look again at the Sun’s picture of the enhanced Chantelle Hayes spilling out a dress. Her breasts running amuck.
She’s got the breasts. But – fool of fools – she’s taken them out of the wrapping.
Someone fetch her a T-shirt.
Quick…
Posted: 11th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jordan and Peter Andre, Tabloids Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Kerry Katona On Chantelle
SAYS Kerry Katona in her OK! column, on the matter of Big Brother winner emeritus Chantelle Houghton’s failed marriage:
“When my last marriage ended, I got my boobs done, lost weight and got a tan and hair extensions, it’s just part of getting over someone.”
Posted: 10th, February 2008 | In: Celebrities, Kerry Katona, OK! Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The OK! Christmas Party: Come As They Are
TO the OK! Christmas party, where Nikki Grahame is dressed up as a green elf, in much the same fashion as Jordan is later in this week’s organ.
Nikkkkki’s outfit is loose, baggy even. Jordan’s outfit clings to her like the Hulk’s remnants.
And then we read that Nikki has accused OK! guest Chantelle Houghton of stealing her boyfriend. And this is Chantelle who has new breasts and a make-up that says Chernobyl No. 5.
She looks not unlike Jordan, who is dressed up as a green elf.
And on it goes…
Posted: 19th, December 2007 | In: Celebrities, Jordan and Peter Andre, OK! Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chantelle’s Celebrity Legend: New Boobs, New Man, New Life
“CHANTELLE: New Boobs, new man, new life.”
So says the Star on its front page, words equipped with a picture of former Celebrity Big Brother winner turned celebrity Chantelle Houghton.
Chantelle is pictured in black knickers with pink spots. Her fingers are hooked into the straps of her matching bra in the manner of a young Tommy Steele fingering his braces in readiness for a burst of Half A Sixpence.
But it’s that headline that intrigues, more than Chantelle’s new Jordans.
Never has there been a more fitting legend to grace the celebrity shield. Anorak is looking for a new logo and thinks “New boobs, new man, new life” would fit neatly beneath the mythological motifs of rampant soap actor and a displayed glamour model.
“I’m so happy with them,” says Chantelle, “I absolutely love them and can’t stop touching them.”
Presumably to see if they are real…
Posted: 27th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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