Fat Kate Moss Is New Face Of Starbucks, With Added Cellulite
KATE Moss says “nothing tastes as good as skinny” and the Sun screams from its front page:
“Kate Moss brain is size zero”
MODEL SPARKS OUTRAGE.
The model might have sparked a new slogan for Starbucks lo-cal coffees and shakes. But the outrage is about the thinness. And the people outraged most are those who represent vested interest groups, like Katie Green, face and chest of Say No To Size Zero, a former anorexic and the founder of the National Centre for Eating Disorders.
The allegation is that Kate Moss encourages anorexia. In other Sun news:
HERE is KATE MOSS slumming it with mere mortals at McDonald’s. The supermodel popped in to the fast-food chain in Central London to pick up a spot of lunch to go.
And:
KATE Moss is pencil thin - but her clothing collection appeals to Brittons of every shape and size.
But it’s the Mail that really takes the hypo-critic oath, telling its readers:
The saying is a watchword for millions of anorexics and bulimia sufferers.
The Mail quotes a study:
The study by the Exeter-based Schools Health Education Unit found that a majority of teenage girls - and 40 per cent of ten and 11-year-olds - believed they needed to slim but few were actually overweight.
It’s just so wrong that young girls are so worried about their looks and fat. In previous Daily Mail fat and ugly Kate Moss news:
TUMMY - ‘Like most women who have had a baby, Kate has a bit of loose skin in the lower tummy area,’ says diet and fitness specialist Joanna Hall.
‘There is very little fat beneath it, but also not much muscle definition. Some exercise would help…
And that rounded tum-tum?
She insists she isn’t pregnant, and the cigarette in her right hand would appear to confirm that fact. But the way she was rubbing what appeared to be a bump beneath her baggy top did nothing to dispel rumours that Kate Moss is, indeed, expecting her second child.
No, not pregnant. Just a bit of fat or gas. The last word can be with stick thin former anorexic Liz Jones, in the Mail:
We fashion editors loved her in her 20s for the fact she would brazenly model a bikini on the catwalk or in bright sunshine, despite the fact she was no longer 16, had never been six foot, had a long trunk and short legs and the dimplings of cellulite.
Sticks and stones will break her bones - unless Kate Moss is fate enough to absorb them…
Posted: 19th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
US Police Trained To Use Tasers On Children, And Do
IN Today’s edition of Super Nanny uncut, Ozark police Taser a 10-year-old girl who has been talking back to her parents.
Says a relieved dad Anthony Medlock:
“I would like to say Ozark police Tased this little girl right here. Ten years old and [they] shot electricity through her body, and I want to know how the heck in God’s green earth can they get away with this.”
Ozark police Officer Dustin Bradshaw should have sat her down on the naughty step first? Then call the police? Says dad, concerned about police brutality:
“If you can’t pick the kid up and take her to your car, handcuff her, then I don’t think you need to be an officer.”
Posted: 18th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Rebecca Stevenson: Britain’s Worse Mum Has Two Houses?
REBECCA Stevenson is “Britain’s worse mum”. The Lancashire Telegraph confirms it:
DEFINITELY Britain’s worst mum’ was the verdict of one of Rebecca Stevenson’s furious neighbours yesterday.
The Sun agrees that Rebecca Stevenson is the “UK’s worst mum”. She’s worse than Tracey Connelly. She’s worse than Vanessa George? As one nodding head said:
The grim figures led one social workers’ leader to warn there are “Baby P’s” [sic] in every local authority in Britain.”
The Mail reports that the 22-year-old mum from Blackburn, Lancashire has earned herself a 20-week suspended prison for leaving four children under five to “fend for themselves in the filthy, cluttered house - while she partied with friends”.
Posted: 17th, November 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor: Jedward Porn Shocker As Olly Murs Seduces Stacey Solomon
X Factor Watch: Jedward watch porn, almost strangled, Stacey Solomon saved by love-struck Olly Murs, Danyl Johnson sings and Lloyd Daniels is in the running.
Can you link these two X Factor stories on Jedward – the John and Edwards Grimes double act?
Daily Star (front page): “Our Hell: Stress is too much”
TERRIBLE twins John and Edward Grimes are cracking up because of the backlash against them.
News of the World (front page): “Jedward caught watching porn”
Simon cracks down on flings, rows and Jedward ogling porn
In other unrelated news:
RHYDIAN: “’Get a grip Danyl’”
Posted: 15th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Daily Mail Sticks The Louboutin Into Coleen Rooney
HANDS up which Daily Mail readers want to know what kept “new mum Coleen Rooney “up till 2am”?
On Page 3, you can find out the answer. But before we go there, the Star also has Coleen on its page 3: “ROON IS NAPPY DODGER.”
“He revealed yesterday that he would love to have a shot at changing two-week-old son Kai.”
Poor Wayne can’t get close enough to Kai to change the little love’s bum because Coleen keeps getting in the way. And after that talks of excreta, we move to the Mail, and learn:
“Portrait of a WAG out on the town (in £500 Louboutin heels) one week after giving birth.”
Posted: 13th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Weston Bans Fat Mums From Giving Birth In Town
FAT mums-to-be are barred from having babies at Weston General Hospital. The hospital will only safely admit women with a body mass index (BMI) of 34 and under.
As you’re lying there screaming “GET IT OUT” a dietician will approach and test you for fatness. If you pass you can have the baby. If not, you will have to a) ingest it; b) leave, perhaps for St Michael’s Hospital in Bristol, 20 miles away. Run. It’ll do you good.
A BMI of 34 is equivalent to a 15-stone 5ft 6ins tall woman. A spokesman says: ”
Our foremost concern is for the safety of mothers who deliver here and their babies.”
Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Peter Andre ‘Dates’ X Factor Singer Stacey Solomon
WANT to read about Peter Andre’s “movie date” with X Factor hopeful Stacey Solomon?
In OK! magazine, you can. What’s more, the magazine has the “FIRST EVER PICTURE”.
This is a front-page exclusive. And we begin our journey through a magazine in hunt the X Factor starlet and Mr Katie Price, as was.
Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: OK! Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Nidal Malik Hasan’s Family In Ramallah Say Mass Murderer Is A Victim
MAJOR Nidal Malik Hasan is not a terrorist. As we have seen there are ten reasons why the man murdered 13 people in Fort Hood, Texas. And not once – not once – does our round-up suggest that he is a terrorist.
Nancy Gibbs, in Time magazine - “The Fort Hood Killer: Terrified … or Terrorist?” – can stop trying to work it out.
We know Hasan is the victim because we are told he is:
A close relative spoke to Sky News in the West Bank town of Ramallah on condition of anonymity, afraid of reprisals against his family in America.
Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Placenta Teddy Bear Is The Christmas Gift That’s Part Of You
WHY not forgo eating your baby’s placenta and instead turn it into a curio, a coffee table piece, and object d’art - like a teddy.
At the Doing it for the Kids exhibition - an “exhibition of sustainable play design” for “designers who don’t want to make landfill” – designer Alex Green has created the Placenta Teddy Bear.
Green’s ‘Twin Teddy Kit’ “celebrates the unity of the infant, the mother and the placenta”.
Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Global Warming Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Angelina Jolie Is Named UN Ambassador For Next Of Kin
ANGELINA Jolie will adopt a child from Syria. So says OK! magazine.
Right now Syrian children are smoothing down their hair and widening their eyes. Mums dreaming of Amerika are kicking their children out into the cold night air. Coachloads of Iranians booking package tours to Damascus. This is it. This is the Willy Wonka moment.
Ethiopia. Cambodia. Vietnam. She’s working her way up the Fifa rankings. Had Graham Taylor remained in charge for another few seasons, England might have figured between Mauritania and Andorra.
Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann: Prudent Kate And Gerry McCann Still Have Two Kids Left
MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: In a piece entitled “Madeleine McCann’s Siblings, Sky News’ Colin Brazier delivers an article which blends fact with fiction to produce something opportunistic, hideous that should offer Kate And Gerry McCann no little comfort:
Just over two years ago the release of the film Gone Baby Gone was allegedly postponed because of parallels with the case of Madeleine McCann.
Not alleged. This is what we learnt from Affleck on October 12, 2007:
“Disney UK made the decision to postpone the movie but I absolutely support it and I’m pleased by what I think is erring on the side of good taste. There’s no rush. It’s obviously a sensitive time and if there are any similarities we can wait to distribute the movie in the UK. I was only vaguely aware of the Madeleine case because it wasn’t a big thing here in the United States. Maybe I’m out of it because I don’t read many newspapers, but I didn’t really know much about it until somebody said, ‘Hey, there may be some similarities’.”
Anyone traumatised by Afflecks’s performance in car accident movie Changing Lanes, who is a devout Christian and found Dogma offensive or who fears impending Armageddon can applaud Ben’s actions.
The Times told us:
However, in the wake of the Madeleine McCann case, this adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s 1998 novel was withdrawn from this year’s Times/bfi London Film Festival because of its sensitive subject matter, and may never be released in the UK”
The film was released. Child abuse was delivered as a form of entertainment. And Affleck told us:
Affleck: What has happened to Madeleine McCann is terrible and it was the right decision to wait until now before bringing out the film, as we didn’t want to upset the family.
Affleck: “I worked with the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children [which is involved in the search for Madeleine McCann] and I found out about the extent of child abuse internationally. It is horrifying.
Affleck: “Sometimes, abuse is as simple as leaving your kids in front of the TV all day and thinking that it is sufficient parenting.”
Back to Brazier and “Madeleine McCann’s siblings”:
It was felt the movie, which tells the fictional story of the abduction of a four-year-old girl, was too close to real life. Although written before Madeleine McCann’s abduction [sic], Gone Baby Gone contained some inadvertent but nonetheless [sic] extraordinarily coincidental material. The plot focuses on a 4-year-old played by an actress - actually called Madeleine - who shows an uncanny resemblance to the real Madeleine McCann. I watched the film six months ago and was quite staggered by how accidentally art had imitated life.
You mean to say that stories can be based on real life events, and fears? Brazier then introduces readers to more works of fiction:
Child abduction has been dealt with by artists before. In his 1987 novel The Child In Time, Ian McEwan writes about the disappearance of a three year old. The scene where the father loses sight of his daughter in a supermarket, while momentarily distracted, never to see her again, is brilliantly wrought.
How does it end, Colin?
Both stories have different endings. In the film the child is found alive and well. In the book the child is never found and the mystery is never solved. But the book does offer one answer.
And in Maddie’s story? What happens?
Mercifully, such abductions are as rare now as they were fifty years ago (it’s only our paranoia which has increased). But the phenomenon of couples destroyed by the loss of an only-child may be on the rise.
Anyone following his argument. Child abduction in books is rare. But many one-child couples break up. Are these parents in the real world or in books? Is there a difference? Is it all just a form of entertainment?
Think of some recent high-profile cases.
Thinking:
Tragic parents like Neil and Kazumi Puttick. In June, they leapt to their deaths from Beachy Head, clutching the body of their five-year-old son Sam. He had died of meningitis the week before and his parents were crippled with grief. Or parents like 40-year-old Joanna Coombs. Last year, her body was found on the same tracks where her daughter - and only child - had died two months before.
These are real parents whose tragedies are placed in the context of works of fiction. And what do they have to do with Madeleine McCann or her siblings, the twin or which there are, er, two?
It stands to reason that when parents put all their eggs in one all-too-fragile basket, the loss of that child may prove insupportable. Previous generations understood that a larger family provided a shield against the loss of a singleton. In the words of Churchill’s famous, if callous, dictum: “One for mother, one for father, one for increase and one for accidents“.
Anyone else feeling sick? Lucky the McCanns had a couple of children left over, then. Good news. How prudent of them to bring three children into the world. It might well be what has kept them going, and alive. You want more from Brazier? Here goes:
When tragedy strikes a multi-child family, parents are more likely to carry on for those who remain, no matter how grief-stricken they are.
How much more likely? More likely than the McCanns or less likely than the cast of Schindler’s List?
Some social scientists already fret about how the rise of the only child is changing society. One talks about the ‘Saving Private Ryan’ effect. The fictional Private Ryan was the only one of four brothers to survive the battle for Normandy in 1944. Would a modern parent be so sanguine about an only-child fighting for his or her country?
Answers in the form of a work of fiction.
That’s a choice few will have to make. But many will make much more quotidian decisions about danger. It is one reason why so many modern children are not permitted to take risks of almost any description.
Fact and fiction. Can you spot the difference?
Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Lucia Anne Grigorieva Gibson, In Pictures
CELEBRITY Catholic Mel Gibson’s lover Oksana Grigorieva presents their new baby daughter Lucia to the massed Hello! congregation. Mel seems to have ignored our advice to name the child Melanie Mary Passion Sugartits Eva Beaver Gibson, going instead for Lucia Anne Grigorieva Gibson.
Although there is always the nickname to develop. We live in hope.
Lucia is Mel’s eighth wonder. This makes him Octo-dad. While we wonder what three more children will do more Mel’s self-esteem, Oksana tells us:
“Premature babies do eat a lot – they just eat and sleep.”
Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Hello! Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Inside Wayne And Coleen Rooney’s Nursery For Kai
IN this week’s Hello! you can read of “Wayne and Coleen’s baby joy”. You can go “inside the new Rooney nursery”. You can read Coleen’s “thoughts on being a mum”.
Might it be that Coleen has gone back on her word not to sell pictures of her baby to the press?
Well, er, no.
Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Hello! Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price: Peter Andre Too Outraged To Talk About Secret Abortion, Sources Say
PETER Andre and Katie Price: Beneath a picture of sentimental Peter Andre holding his face in his hands, NoTW readers are told: “Peter Andre’s baby rage over Katie Price abortion.”
To our mind, Peter Andre always looks to be more on the point of tears than rage. But the NoTW knows:
PETER ANDRE has gone ballistic after Jordan told the world she had a secret abortion while they were married, saying: “This is the ultimate betrayal.”
You may think the ultimate betrayal was leaving your wife and kids. But Peter is here to educate:
But the singer is seething at his ex, real name Katie Price, for revealing the most personal details of their private life in a magazine interview for which she was paid an estimated £50,000.
Posted: 8th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Why The Royal Mail Rejected Benny Hill
THE Royal Mail has rejected Benny Hill. Old Mr Anorak found Hill more depressing than funny, Although his comedy is evoked at our patron’s Thai ladies’ ping-pong team winter traning camp. Anorak’s Man in LA sees a legend spurned:Posted: 8th, November 2009 | In: The Consumer Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor Playlist: Danyl Johnson Sings Prince’s Purple Rain, Stacey Solomon Does Springfield
ON tonight’s X Factor, Daniel Lloyd will be singing Stand By Me in the manner of Pinocchio before The Change, and Stacey Solomon will squeak out Son Of A Preacherman, not in the style of Amy Winehouse gargling baby milk.
As for the rest – with predictions:
John & Edward: GhostBusters, Ray Parker, Jr. It’s awful. But is it awful enough?
Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
GOOD times for those of you took the best on the 2-1 shot: Wayne Rooney would get a tattoo of young Kai Rooney on his neck.
The Sun says that “PROUD” Wayne “wants to celebrate by getting a new bit of artwork. He’s been designing what it will look like. At the moment he would like it on his lower back.”
Posted: 6th, November 2009 | In: Sports Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Missing Shannon Turns Up Fives Days Later Beneath Baby Sitter’s Bed
IN Florida, 7-month-old Shannon Dedrick has been missing for five days. She turns up under baby sitter Susan Elizabeth Baker’s bed.
Police are looking to charge Baker, her husband James Arthur Baker and Chrystina Lynn Mercer, the child’s mother, with whatever they can.
On Saturday the child is reported missing.
On Monday, County Sheriff Bobby Haddock (nominative determinism, folks) told us:
“We have searched every dumpster in the city limits of Chipley, we have turned over every garbage can.”
Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Cross-Dressing John Kenley Is A Life Ignored
RIP John Kenley. Anorak’s Man In LA remembers the cross-dressing, hermaphroditic theatre star being ignored by the big media:
ADD the Los Angeles Times to the mainstream media outlets that leave the most colorful part of a great person’s life out of the story. The LA Times is a couple of days behind the New York Times in reporting the death at 103 of John Kenley, the Ohio summer stock theatre impresario known for casting television and movie stars including Burt Reynolds, Mae West, William Shatner and Joe Namath in popular plays and musicals.
We were doing a bit of quick research Sunday morning to see if he’d brought The Hudson Brothers to Ohio, when we discovered that the famously-closeted Merv Griffin had outed the beloved Mr. Kenley as an alleged “registered” hermaphrodite, and that the producer lived half the year in Florida as “Joan”.
Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
World’s Smallest Mum Stacey Herald Gives Brith For Third Time
IN this week’s Closer magazine, we get to meet “the world’s smallest mum”.
How small is she? Well, she’s smaller than Cheryl Cole, who says “The baby’s on hold”. (Cancel the twins!) The world’s smallest mum is Stacey Herald and she is 35 and 2ft 4 in small.
Posted: 3rd, November 2009 | In: Closer Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
- annette on X Factor Live: Jedward Do Jive Bunny, Olly Murs Is The Man And Danyl Johnson Is Careless
- June on In Pictures: Herman Van Rompuy’s Pet Dalek Introduces President Iain Duncan Smith
- Cheryl on In Pictures: Herman Van Rompuy’s Pet Dalek Introduces President Iain Duncan Smith
- Cheryl on Sven Goran Eriksson: Then And Now
- Anorak on I’m A Celebrity: Naked Katie Price Becomes Kate And Jordan ‘Dies’
