Peter Andre Pulled Out Of I’m A Celebrity Not To Do The X Factor
I’M A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! has claimed Peter Andre as its first victim. The pop acorn who rose to fame – literally – when he squired Katie Price in the jungle clearing will not be reporting on the show.
Sentimental Peter Andre was all booked to head Down Under and spend three weeks as a behind-the-scenes reporter for This Morning, saying nice things in a nice way and being, hopefully, thought of as nice by the nice viewers at home.
Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price And Peter Andre Back Together By Christmas
PETER Andre would like us all to know that Harvey Yorke-Price-Andre-Price is not suffering form swine flu.
But what’s this? Now sooner is Harvey better than Junior Peter Andre, aka Junior Andre-Price-Andre, is sick:
JORDAN made a dramatic dash back to hospital today just a day after Harvey was discharged - this time over fears about Junior. The glamour girl, real name Katie Price, rushed to the A&E department in Caterham Hospital, Surrey, with her four-year-old.
And were the press still there?
Posted: 6th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Peter Andre And Katie Price: Harvey’s Swine Flu, A Gay Secret And Back Together
KATIE Price & Peter Andre Watch:Peter’s “gay secret”, Harvey’s celebrity swine flu, Yate awaits, Peter and Katie back together and Peter’s sex life…
“PETER Andre’s Big Gay Secret,” announces the Daily Star’s front page,.
What’s that big gay secret, then? Peter isn’t all that tall:
PETE Andre is poised to become the new Paul O’Grady in a megabucks telly deal. The Aussie is at the centre of a TV tug-of-war as two major networks battle to sign him up. He has been approached by Channel 4 and ITV about hosting his own show. Channel 4 bosses are keen to unveil him as the new O’Grady, while ITV want him as their permanent guest host on Friday’s This Morning.
Paul O’Grady is gay. Is that the “Big Gay Secret?” As for Sentimental Pete presenting a TV show:
Last night an ITV spokesman said there were no new plans to work with Peter. But he added: “He is currently working on This Morning and ITV1 and doing very well.” There was no-one available for comment at Channel 4.
So what is Peter Andre up to if he’s not presenting a tea-time telly show?
Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Swine Flu, With Marilyn Manson
ASHEN-faced popstar Marilyn Manson has celebrity swine flu. As he says on his blog:
“So I have officially been diagnosed, by a real doctor, with THE SWINE FLU.”
“I know everyone will suggest that f**king a pig is how this disease was obtained. However, the doctor said, my past choices in women have, in ‘no way’ contributed to… me acquiring this mysterious sickness. Unfortunately, I am going to survive. M.”
Posted: 24th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kate Garraway’s Superman Baby And Derek Draper’s Four Leaf Clover
GMTV’s “lovely” Kate Garraway and husband Derek Draper would like to present her “BABY BOY BILLY” to OK! readers. But take care with the little love, because as Kate says:
“WE LOST BILLY’S HEARTBEAT FOR THREE MINUTES.”
Had it slipped own the back of the GMTV sofa? Had Derek Draper, Kate’s charming husband, blogged about it?
“At one point the baby was very active and wriggling around and slipped to the back of my back which meant the midwife suddenly couldn’t hear his heartbeat.”
So she moved the stethoscope to your back and found it..?
“It was only for three minutes but to me it felt like an hour and I just thought, oh God.”
But Billy Draper is special. Having survived that trauma, he now hears dad Derek Draper explains just how special Billy is:
“When he came out, the midwives were like: ‘Ooh, there’s a knot in the umbilical cord! Apparently it’s just finding a four leaf clover.”
Albeit a four leaf clover covered in blood with a baby on one end, an ex-Labour blogger in the middle and a GMTV presenter with legs akimbo at its root. Best not to pick it. Leave it to the Red Rag experts, like Derek:
“Anyway I cut the cord with scissors and kept them as a reminder.”
Posted: 26th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Robbie Williams Has Celebrity Swine Flu
CELEBRITY Swine Flu – Robbie Williams catches the Swine Flu…
The Daily Express brings news of Robbie Williams and the flu that everyone whose anyone’s got:
The Angels hitmaker worried fans by posting a blog on his website telling them he may have contracted the potentially deadly virus and was seeking medical advice.
He wrote, “Off to the doctors to confirm if I have pig (flu) or not.”
The doctors. Poor, Robbie Williams. The rest of us need not be left hanging. A simple call to the swine flu hotline – a few questions: You proper poorly? On a scale of 1 to 10 how proper poorly are yer? Do you roll about in your own faeces and snuffle a lot? – and we know that we have the swine flu.
Posted: 18th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chloe Madeley Is Charged In Hampstead
CHLOE Madeley, daughter to TV’s Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan’s – of Richard & Judy’s Wine Club - has been charged with drink driving after her Peugeot 206 was found overturned Meadway Close, Golders Green, close to her mum and dad’s house.
Madeley! Chaaaaarge!
At the scene was no sign of Chloe. She’d either not been driving the car or gone. No breathalyzer nor drugs swab at the scene – earlier in the year Chloe was pictured puffing on a bong.
You roll a spliff. You roll a car. Cannabis is a gateway drug. All alleged, in innocent Chloe’s case, of course.
Posted: 17th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kasabian Catch Celebrity Swine Flu
SWINE Flu – Kasabian’s Tom Meighan has celebrity swine flu and the Tamiflu terrors grip Middle England…
KASABIAN have been rocked by a swine flu outbreak on tour. Frontman TOM MEIGHAN has been knocked for six after picking up the bug somewhere between Japan and Australia.
Quarantine Borneo!
Speaking from his Sydney hotel room, SERGE PIZZORNO said: “We’re all sick as dogs, man. It’s pretty terrible. It’s a bit of a virus that we picked up in Japan. It’s so tough. I am confined to my hotel room and I look out and see the Opera House and the harbour and so want to be out there in it all.”
So its might not be swine flu?
Posted: 13th, August 2009 | In: Media, Scare Stories Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Swine Flu With GMTV’s Andrew Castle
CELEBRITY Swine Flu with GMTV tennis presenter Andre Castle.
In “Tamiflu nearly killed my daughter, says Andrew Castle”, the man with the racket tells Daily Express readers, as he told Daily Mail readers the day before:
Posted: 12th, August 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michael Jackson Buried in Las Vegas
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news- Jackson burined in Las Vegas, La Toya has 100 news songs, malware, the Stasi, benzodiazepines and Miley Cyrus is dead…
CelebBuzz: “Neverland Ranch: Moving to Las Vegas?”
E! Online reports that plans are underway to move Michael Jackson’s former home, Neverland Ranch, from Santa Barbara, California, to Las Vegas so that it can become Sin City’s newest tourist attraction… adding a museum, theater, and a burial plot where fans could pay their respects to the fallen King of Pop.
Attractions include the Nosorium, the Moonwalk - a moving pavement taking less mobile Americans through Jackson’s life all the way to the burial slab which lights up as you touch it and at midnight opens to start the Werewolf Show.
“The idea is to take physically everything that’s not part of the dirt and reassemble it in Las Vegas,” a source reveals.
Posted: 7th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Angelina Jolie Topless Pictures
DANIEL Edwards’ sculpture of Angelina Jolie - ‘Landmark For Breastfeeding’ - portrays the mother-of-six naked and breastfeeding two babies while seated.
The babes are Knox and Vivienne, immortalised in W magazine’s cover shot, and by Anorak’s pal 14. Jolie has, famously, another four nipples, but with swine flu fears rife, they are hidden form view.
On day the nipples will seep milk and Jolie’s worshippers will come from miles around to fill their own jugs, spreading the heeling potion the world over.
The craven image is aimed to coincide with World Breastfeeding Week, in which breast milk fetishists can safely emerge into polite society, and anyone mum feeding their child with a bottle will be stared at and made to feel uncomfortable.
Sandy Wilson of Phantom-Financial, the outfit behind the artwork says:
“We believe the statue sends a beautiful message by promoting the acceptance of public breastfeeding. Mothers should be encouraged to nurture their babies anywhere.”
Nothing screams acceptance better than a huge statue of celebrity’s milky bosom.
Pictures of this work and Edwards’ other statures of Britney Spears, Nadya Suleman, Suri Cruise’s poo, Oprah Winfrey, Prince Harry, Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama hereunder:
Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price Has Suspected Swine Flu
CELEBRITY Swine Flu: Katie Price has swine flu. Maybe.
We join the action as Katie makes her way to Bournemouth. Her spokeswoman takes up the drama:
“I handed Katie a piece of chewing gum and just after she put it into her mouth, a veneer came out. She was in a lot of discomfort and we found a dentist who would open up especially to treat her.
“He had to give her a lot of anaesthetic and her face swelled. She could not face the general public looking like that.”
Posted: 1st, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Swine Flu Mutates Into Meningitis
WITH the panic over swine flu not as frenzied as hoped, and people still walking about and talking to one another, Anorak hears of 17-year-old Gemma Drury, from Brimington, Chesterfield, who had her meningitis misdiagnosed as swine flu.
Gemma’s father Kevin tells us:
“She fell ill and collapsed. An emergency doctor came and said it was swine flu. But Gemma just got worse and worse with terrible headaches and vomiting.
“She wanted to go into hospital but they wouldn’t take her because they kept saying it was swine flu.”
Posted: 23rd, July 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Ricky Hatton Has Celebrity Swine Flu
CELEBRITY Swine Flu, with Ricky Hatton. With swine flu rife and threatnign to kill us all it offer the perfect tabloid blend of scare story and celebrity photo opportunity.
Boxer Ricky Hatton is laid up after a swine flu’ scare and, says the Manchester Evening News:
“Hatton was rushed to hospital by his distraught fiancee.
“The 30-year-old boxing champ has been detained in the private Alexandra Hospital in Cheadle where he is on a drip and undergoing medical tests.”
One contributor chipped in with: Ricky can only eat dry toast made by the ‘Ricky Hatton Toaster’, just like Ricky it only does 2 rounds.
Posted: 17th, July 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Gordon Brown’s Pollution Expert Has Swine Flu
IN today’s edition of celebrity swine flu, we learn that Michael Jacobs, Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s climate change adviser, has the on-message illness. Rumours are that he caught it in Mexico last month.
Jacobs has now been banned from the G8 summit because of fears that he might infect world leaders. Gordon Brown imposed the prohibition on Michael Jacobs, his senior adviser on climate change, despite the official’s insistence that he was no longer contagious and his plea that he should be at the gathering.
Posted: 13th, July 2009 | In: Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Swine Flu With Micah Richards
IN today’s Celebrity Swine Flu bulletin, Sky News reports that England and Manchester City footballer Micah Richards is on trend.
Says Micah from Cyrus:
“At first I thought it was a really bad chest infection, or maybe alcohol poisoning. I felt so weak I couldn’t move or eat.”
Alcohol poisoning is so 1990s. Sine fever is all:
“When I was told I had swine flu all sorts of things started going through my mind. You see on the news people dying of it.”
Posted: 11th, July 2009 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Imogen Thomas And Danielle Lloyd’s Premiership League Table
HOPES are that Big Brother strumpet emeritus Imogen Thomas has fully recovered from celebrity swine flu as she steps out with Tottenham Hotspur and England footballer Jermaine Defoe.
Anorak’s Contagion Watch team spotted Thomas (left) and Defoe (right) at London’s Nobu Berkeley eatery, before they moved on to a casino.
We trust that both venues have been disinfected and spritzed with mixture of chip fat, collagen and Vimto.
As Anorak readers know, the celebrity circuit works on a points system, with Danielle Lloyd and Imogen Thomas grading all Spurs footballers out of nine.
Imogen has trained with: Lee Trundle, Dwight Yorke, Cristiano Ronaldo, Danny Simpson, Nery Castillo, Ibrahim Sonko and Jemaine Defoe.
Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Swine Flu With Coleen Nolan
IN today’s edition of celebrity swine flu, a proud Coleen Nolan explains via the Daily Mirror’s front page:
Coleen: My Boy’s Got Swine Flu
In an article entitled “Coleen’s Fear” (surely “Colene’s pride”? – ed), a beaming Coleen tells us:
“It was terrifying and I’ve been desperately worried about him. I can’t help thinking about the terrible ways in which the disease can develop. I’ve spent ages reading about swine flu on the internet and they say people with asthma are particularly susceptible….Teenage boys are apparently also most at risk, so it’s been a terrible worry.”
Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michael Jackson Stars In New Harry Potter Film
GREAT news that Rupert Grint has recovered from his bout of Celebrity Swine Flu just in time to tread the soggy carpet at the London premiere of Harry Potter And The Half–Blood Prince.
What are the odds?
Says his publicist and medical expert:
“He has now fully recovered and is looking forward to joining his fellow cast mates for the junket and premiere this week, and then will return to filming afterwards.”
Posted: 6th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Harry Potter Star Has Swine Flu
IN today’s edition of Celebrity Bingo – can you link a celebrity to a big news story? – Sky News reports that Harry Potter actor Rupert Grint has swine flu.
The thespian, known to millions of adults as Ron Weasley has, as his publicist terms it: “a mild bout of swine flu.”
Posted: 5th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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