Katie Price’s Burning Sensation X Factor Presents The Week In Pictures
WHAT a week that was, folks. We saw Gary Glitter’s Halloween costume, a man was beaten to death on the telly for our entertainment, The Cheeky Girls encouraged thoughts of them mating with X Factor’s Jedward and creating a new breed of horror, Madonna sanitized Africa, police arrested West Ham, Stephen Fry fans pretending to be actors, had a strop on Twitter, X Factor agonist Danyl Johnson was beaten by Hitler, giving us another reason to hate Danyl with a Y, Marlon King was branded a typical footballer, you got to cover your cat’s anus with a glitter ball, Muslims laughed at Muslims, Ollie Murs reminded us of them, Iggy Pop, Muhammad reminded us of corduroy bodysuits, starred in a film as John Travolta, we blamed the Muslims for Madeleine McCann, Al Gore became a God, Daily Mail readers came out in favour of Sharia LawNazis and , we learnt that a virus can wear bovver boots, was burnt as a bitch, Katie PriceSusan Boyle was our transsexual Jesus, Lindsay Lohan died, almost, Ringo Starr became something funny in the water, we saw the Carrie Prejean sex tape, Katie and Peter got back together, we enjoyed blood porn, Sharon Osbourne presented her hairy arsehole, Jedward reviewed their novelty record collection, Elizabeth LambertBeyonce made us watch women’s football- and it was good, showed us her knickers and Nidal Malik Hasan became a victim as he murdered 13 people.
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Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
City Bans Over 12s, Tall Children And Sex Offenders From Halloween
IN Belleville, St Louis, paedos and yobbos are spreading the Halloween fear.
The rules state that anyone the age of an eighth grader – that’s 12 years old - and younger may trick or treat from 5:00 to 8:30 on Halloween night. If you are older you are forbidden unless you are special needs.
The rules also state that anyone older than 12 year must not wear a mask or anything that covers or disguises the face.
Mayor Mark Eckert tells us how they do it the land of the free:
“We felt that the situation of adding that about concealing your identity is a tool for the police officers. They don’t need to have people running around that feel like they have the right to have different masks on throughout the community, into restaurants, or different places. That makes it very difficult to do their jobs.”
So no wearing a stripy jumper and wearing a black mask; no dressing up as Gary Glitter; a paedo priest nor that. It only makes the police’s job harder.
Posted: 31st, October 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
London Evening Standard Showcases New Mascot And Street Execitive Uniform
THE Evening Standard doesn’t need to charge money – it just needs a mascot.
Right now London Paper street executives are ditching their mauve nylon gowns for a big fluffy pig suit.
Everyone loves a pig – or a parrot, right Ralph Nader!
The Washington Post has a mascot called Dan and just look at how the readers love it.
How’s the newspaper industry, kids?
Rrrrruff!
The Top Five Evening Standard Street Executive Costumes:
* Black shirts, boots and belt. Paper’s are delivered with a smart snap of a raised right hand – a nod to the paper’s past as former owner Lord Rothermere once shouted “Hurrah for the Blackshirts”.
* Gary Glitter – Once more a costume that looks back to look forward. This Vendor’s Trendor ™ pays tribute to the Evening Standard’s former stable mate The Daily Mail.
* T-shirts bearing the legend “Tube Seats Give You Cancer” – accompanied by a yelled enjoiner that cancer can be prevented by sitting on a newspaper.
* Noel Edmonds – because people will take anything from Edmonds, no matter how crap it is.
* A Sleeping Tramp.
Support Anorak - it’s the future…
PS - Any hacks want to write for us, get in touch…
Picture: Wonkette
Posted: 2nd, October 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kang Mangru Is The Pregnant One Year Old
IN Closer magazine, you can read about the “Pregnant 1-year-old”.
In “Our 18-month-old baby is pregnant” Kang Mangru has amazed her parents after doctors revealed she is carrying her unborn twin.
Call off the dogs. Gary Glitter can keep…
Posted: 15th, September 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
La Toya Jackson Investigates Video Of Michael Jackson Alive In Coroner’s Office
MICHAEL Jackson Homicide Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news - A new video of Jackson alive at the coroner’s office and Our Man at the Michael Jackson Wake (& Bake) spots Officer La Toya Jackson of the LaPD closing in on a comeback career as the new voice of Michael Jackson - she’s scheduled to speak in an interview on ABC followed by a bout of tag-team bitchiness on The View…
How’s this for coincidence: LaToya Jackson is recruited to co-host ABC’s The View for two days at almost exactly the same time she decides to give her first one-on-one U.S. television interview to “20/20″ which airs on the same network.
A source tells The Rat that ABC, which “never pays for interviews”, has worked out a deal with Jackson whereby she’s paid a much higher-than-normal fee for co-hosting The View.
Posted: 25th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (41) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Paris Jackson’s ‘Aunt’ Slams Mark Lester And Gary’s Michael Jackson Memorial
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news - Mark Lester’s ex-wife Jane says Paris Jackson not his, Mark Lester is “nuts” and Gary pays for the Jackson memorial show.
LAST week we heard that Mark Lester could be the father to Michael Jackson’s three children (and counting), or not. We were invited to note the resemblance between his daughter Harriet and Jackson’s daughter Paris.
Now the Mail’s Alison Boshoff tells us:
Is my ex-husband Mark Lester the father of Jacko’s children? No, he’s completely nuts
Jane Lester sighs heavily when you ask whether her former husband Mark, the child star made famous by Oliver!, could possibly have made a sperm donation to Michael Jackson in 1996 - and thus be the biological father of Michael’s eldest children, Prince Michael and Paris Jackson…
It’s certainly a startling story - but can it possibly be true? And what, you wonder, would prompt Lester, now living obscurely as a 51-year-old osteopath in Cheltenham, to tell such a story?
Well, wonder no more, Alison Boshoff, because, er, last week Lester told us:
Now I’m not able to have any communication with the children. My repeated phone calls aren’t returned and emails go unanswered. This isn’t what Michael would have wanted. I feel I have to come forward, as my only way of saying, ‘Please don’t shut me out!’”
Posted: 15th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michael Jackson Tribute Show Kicks Off Premier League
MICHAEL Jackson Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Michael Jackson in the news - Rio Ferdinand and Anton’s Premier League tribute, Tinchy Stryder denies, Jackson beats Elvis and Officer La Toya Jackson (LA PD) gets her man…
The Sun: “Jacko’s £120m stacko
MICHAEL Jackson’s estate is expected to make £120million this year alone - and he will soon become the top-earning dead star.
Bigger than Jesus? Jackson’s the hardest working corpse in showbiz:
Executors of the Thriller singer’s legacy have already made £60million from merchandising contracts and a deal to make a film from unreleased footage of rehearsals for his doomed O2 gigs.
Album sales and other royalties could double that sum. John Branca, 59, who makes the decisions on marketing the tragic star with co-executor John McClain, 54, said they are set to earn more than Elvis Presley - who rakes in £33million a year.
Elvis is dead? Nooooooooo…
Times: “Rod Temperton – Thrilling the Publishers”
It may come as something of a surprise that some of Michael Jackson’s biggest hits – including ‘Thriller’, ‘Rock With You’ and ‘Off The Wall’ were written by a long forgotten keyboard player from Cleethorpes. Yet Rod Temperton was one of the most sought after producers in the post-disco period who penned some of the best-known hits of the 1980s.
Wow. And these hits were first sung by a little kid from Gary, Indiana. Amazing!
Posted: 14th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Megan Fox, Sarah Palin And Miley Cyrus Break Out At The Teen Choice Awards
THE Teen Choice Awards is not a Government-run anti-drugs, anti-sex, anti-smoking campaign, but an awards show presented annually by FOX. Teens aged 13–19 vote for their idols.
And there is a special award to Kathy Griffin for snuggling up to Levi Johnston (pictured), who squired Sarah Palin’s daughter. If Kathy can just dye her hair and wear some pig lipstick, this could be the real thing.
Treading the green grass carpet are the Twilight cast (Robert Pattison, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Nikki Reed and Kellan Lutz) and such notables as David Beckham, Hayden Panettiere, Zac Efron, Britney Spears, Rupert The Bear, Rumur Willis, Megan Fox, Cameron Diaz, The Kardashians, Vanessa Hudgens, Jennifer Morrison, Keke Palmer, Gary Glitter, Alexis Bledel, Chace Crawford, Leighton Meester, Pitt The Younger, Ellen DeGeneres, Miley Cyrus, and Ashley Tisdale. (Anyone missed was also there.)
And with more than 85 awards to dish out, there’s one for everyone. It’s less of an award than a going home present.
Posted: 10th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Andrew Breitbart Mourns For Michael Jackson And Gary Glitter
ANDREW Breitbart Mourns For Michael Jackson, Peter Townsend and Gary Glitter:
Feel the love…
Posted: 8th, July 2009 | In: Media Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Inside Michael Jackson’s New Neverland Theme Park
MICHAEL Jackson’s Neverland Ranch is to be turned into a theme park. The old rides are gone and the news rides are being installed. Anorak brings you an exclusive look inside:
The Ten Best Things To See And Do at the Neverland Theme Park
Nemesis - Face your Nemesis. This intense ride takes you through shopping malls as an animatronic Martin Bashir asks you questions. Will you break it – or will it break you?
The Hit Parade – Walk down Main Street USA and listen as the people scream “Paedo!” and “Weirdo!” As you walk, yellow squares in the road light up. Tread on the wrong squares and fall into the Gary Glitter Bargain Bucket. Tread on the right squares and the world dances with you.
Oblivion - Face your fears. You know you shouldn’t look down, but you won’t be able to stop yourself taking a peek at the colossal vertical drop from the highs of Thriller to the lows of the Brit Awards.
Hall of Wax – Wander though the Hall of Wax and experience Michael Jackson in his many guises. The tour ends in the Hot Wax Surgery where you can buy supple balls of molten wax and make your own Wacko Jacko.
Leave Me Alone! - Something for mum and dad. Sit junior on Jackson’s knee and try to win big cash prizes. Sit the child wrongly and junior comes away with only a cherished memory. Sit him or her on the ‘Thriller’, and – Kapow! – money pours from Jackson’s orifices like sweat off a doctor’s brow.
On The Wall – Have your face digitally entered into that famous picture of Jackson at Liza Minelli’s wedding to David Gest. Hang it over a radiator or open fire and have everyone think you’re melting.
It’s A Small World After All – Take a DNA test and see if you are Michael Jackson’s child. Since Jackson died we are now each of us no more than Five Degrees Separated from Michael Jackson. Fact.
I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles – Sing-a-long with a millions Jackson look-alikes – one may even be him!
- I’m forever blowing bubbles,
- Pretty bubbles in the air.
- They fly so high,
- Nearly reach the sky,
- Then like my dreams,
- They fade and die.
- Fortune’s always hiding,
- I’ve looked everywhere,
- I’m forever blowing bubbles,
- Pretty bubbles in the air.
Jesus Juice Bar - Take holy communion over an injection of Jesus Juice in the Jesus Juice Bar.
Where’s Jacko? - As you wonder about Neverland look out for Michael Jackson. Jackson can appear as a small boy, a confused teen, a man-child or even a 20-year-dead masked mummy lying in a four-poster bed propped up on back issues of Melody Maker.
Michael Jackson Funeral Guest List: Pictures
Michael Jackson’s Last Will In Full
Michael Jackson’s Secret Lover Revealed
Michael Jackson Presents More World’s Best Misspelled Tattoos
Michael Jackson: CNN Raises Questions About Bubbles’ Parentage
Elton John Outsells Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson’s Nurse Denies Stomach Pump Claims
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michael Jackson Attraction: The Ten Best Neverland Experiences
MICHAEL Jackson Watch : NEVERLAND is where many media people are choosing to spend their summer vacation.
In addition to Matt Lauer anchoring the Today show from Neverland Ranch tomorrow, CNN’s Larry King will host his show from the ranch in Los Olivos, CA tomorrow night. CNN says King is being granted special access inside the house as well as touring the property. ABC’s Cynthia McFadden is also heading to California and will anchor “Nightline” from Neverland tomorrow night.
Sky will be live in Neverland, and the BBC will have a large contingent of reporters and freelancers at the resort to tell viewers how the media are obsessed with the Michael Jackson story. And enjoy the wonder of Neverland, the world’s foremost theme park and living grave.
The Ten Best Things To See And Do at Neverland
Posted: 2nd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kim Jong Il’s Secret Picture Gallery
KIM Jong Il is 67. Bits of him may be far younger - such as the platform heels he stands on, his hair and his Gary Glitter MP3 player imbedded into his left ear.
Kim Jong Il is in the news. There be rockets in North Korea. One may even one day contain Kim Il Jong; a last desperate attempt to break the human cannonball record – human cannonbalism being the apogee of the North Korean dream.
Anorak takes a look at Kim il-Jong’s life in pictures:
Posted: 27th, May 2009 | In: Key Posts, Photojournalism, Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
World’s Leading Paedophile Spotted In UK
GARY Glitter walks the land. But where is Gary Glitter? The News of the World knows. And it screams from its front page:
“MONSTER IN DISGUISE – We find Evil Glitter.”
This is investigative journalism at its finest – spotting a pop star who has already served time for child abuse.
And what is Glitter’s “evil” disguise – and mind, kids, this is The Glitter Monster, aka. The Leader, the fiend who stalks the land, his hooves clad in massive high heels enabling him to peer though your bedroom window at night?
Posted: 3rd, May 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann Spotted In Malta And Chicago
MADELEINE McCann has been spotted in Malta. Madeleine McCann has been spotted in Chicago, on the Oprah Winfrey TV show.So far, Madeleine has also been seen in: Portugal, Spain, Morocco, Belgium, Bosnia, France, Australia, Brazil, Wales, Italy and Dorset. Now she’s in the US.
Posted: 24th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Media Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann Spotted In Italy
MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann…
The competition is - as ever - Tabloid Bingo - the writer’s challenge to link Madeleine McCann with any major news event. Your caller toay is MIRIAM O’CALLAGHAN, of the Irish Times.
Irish Times: “An ogre of the Apennines called on L’Aquila”
Midst the ochre, azure, terracotta and mimosa, there are jagged black holes from which men, women and children are being pulled: barely alive, barely dead.
Posted: 8th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, Media Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Osama bin Laden Mistaken At Airport For Russell Brand
AT Manchester airport, face-recognition machines are in operation.
The Telegraph has seen an internal email:
“Update on the calibration – the facial recognition booths are letting passengers through at 30%. Changes appear to have been made without any explanation [or] giving anyone a reason for the machines [creating] what is in effect a 70% error rate.
“[The fact that] the machines do not operate at 100% is unacceptable. In addition it would be interesting to know why the acceptance level has been allowed to decrease.”
Posted: 6th, April 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
David Miliband Condemns North Korea With Song
STATEMENT FROM THE FOREIGN SECRETARY
I strongly condemn North Korea’s action in conducting a satellite launch earlier today. This action contributes directly to their ballistic missile programme, and therefore puts North Korea in breach of UNSCR 1718. While Pyongyang continues to pursue a hostile policy towards the rest of the world, it cannot hope to take its rightful place within the international community. I strongly urge North Korea to cease immediately all further missile-related activity and commit to engaging constructively with international partners, in particular through the Six Party Talks process.
Posted: 6th, April 2009 | In: Politicians Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
10 Most Bizarre Things Seen On Google Street Maps
GOOGLE, the huge US corporation that wants to be loved (or else!), has removed tens of pictures from Google’s new Street View service because they are an infringement of privacy, allegedly.
Anorak Looks at the 10 Most Bizarre Things Spotted On Google Street View:
1. Gordon Brown urinating in a hedge in Pimlico
Posted: 20th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media, Photojournalism Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Tesco Thought Police Ban Mum From Buying Alcohol With Teen Daughter
KAREN Dumelow is 46. She looks younger. She at a branch of Tesco with her 14-yerar-lold daughter Emily. She is buying two bottle of wine (white).
The cashier asks for ID. Staff will not sell Mr Dumelow the wine unless her companion can prove she is of legal age to drink it. Can she work the pole? Tesco is tough on thought crime.
Posted: 3rd, March 2009 | In: Media Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Scare Stories: The Radioactive Paedophile And Drinking Prince Harry’s Urine
SCARE Stories: Anorak’s daily look at horror stories making news - radioactive peadophile, drinking Prince Harry’s urine Kredit Krunch Nazis
“Radioactive paedophile on the run’” – The Sun
The greatest scare story of all time? Paedos that glow in the dark? To the paedo park!
Posted: 27th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media, Scare Stories Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
- eggman on Daily Mail Scuppers BBC’s Wrong Shipping Forecast
- agw on Daily Mail Scuppers BBC’s Wrong Shipping Forecast
- Bat E Bird on I’m A Celebrity: Samantha Fox Is Shrinking As ‘Lesbian’ Lover Katie Price Quits
- Bat E Bird on In Photos: Susan Boyle Sings Rockefeller Center Plaza In New York City
- yampster on Daily Mail And Tax Payers’ Alliance Attacks BBC Over Its Free Trees For A Better Planet
