New AOL Logo Wants To Be Called The Aol Dot, Period

REMEMBER when those TV adverts told us that America On Line was the way ahead for any Britons wanting to access and harness the wonder of the world wide web?

For a while it worked. And then you realised that AOL was charging you for stuff you could get for free, and that America was not the only country online. AOL begane to decline.

But now there are plans to make it mighty once more. We bring you the new logo for AOL. Ready… Set. Go!

AOL is to be…Aol.

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Anorak

Posted: 23rd, November 2009 | In: Money Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Katie Price’s Neo Tech Dicovery

KATIE Price is in the celebrity jungle and her Dean Gaffney look-alike lover Alex Reid is limbering up for televised drunken fighting by telling the Mirror, in interview, about his books at bedtime:

“We’re both very bright. That’s another thing we have in common. I’m really into self-improvement, ancient theology. I think a lot and read. Right now, I’m reading The Neo-Tech Discovery - how to live longer and make more money …”

See Katie’s neo-future former husbands – see them all here.

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Anorak

Posted: 13th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

In Pictures: Rihanna’s Nipples Present Glamour Magazine’s Women Of The Year

ANORAK’S Man in New York was at The 2009 Women of the Year hosted by Glamour Magazine at Carnegie Hall, NY. Also ether were such woman of substance as Rihanna, Serena Williams, Steven Tyler, Andie MacDowell and Rainey Qualley, Anna Chlumsky, Lisa Ling, Amanda Righetti – pause; fans face with hand- Padma Lakshmi, Iman, Stephanie March, Maria Shriver, Katharine McPhee and Estelle.

The top women of the year are the singer Rihanna, for services to getting beaten up and showing your nipples – and Michelle Obama, for being married to Barack Obama, who defeated Hillary Clinton to become president of the world in a fight where racism was defeated by misogyny. The other top women are all given pithy bios:

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Anorak

Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

70 Stone Paul Mason Is The World’s Fattest Dancer

MR Paul Mason is the world’s fattest man. Mr Mason last achieved a fame of sorts in 2002 when he weighed 56 stone and needed to go to hospital for a hernia operation. Back then, a firecrew removed his bedroom window, dismantled a brick wall and fence and took him off in a forklift truck.

Paul Mason is big. He now weighs in at an impressive 70 stone.

Or as the Sun puts it on its front page:

“WORLD’S FATTEST BLOKE LIVES IN IPSWICH.”

His secret:

He eats 20,000 calories of food a day - EIGHT TIMES the official adult male average of 2,500. Paul scoffs three family-sized takeaways a night and wolfs down Sunday roasts like snacks.

He’s a giant of a man, popping whole roast chickens into his mouth.

On Google Earth, Ipswich is the small reddish-brown smudge by Mason’s ankle.

Paul Mason is a former engineer, is due to undergo surgery in the next few weeks in a bid to reduce his weight. NHS officials are trying to decide how to move him from his home in Ipswich, Suffolk, to a specialist unit for obese patients at St Richard’s Hospital, Chichester, West Sussex, 152 miles away.

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Anorak

Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Madeleine McCann GPS Locator For Your Potentially Missing Kids

MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: Madeleine McCann’s name is being used in the context of a bit of kit that tags your kids.

Anna Maxted tests a new device that enables parents to track their child via satellite from a computer or mobile phone.

Anna Maxted is the Telegraph’s jobbing mum, which in the media makes her ideally placed to spread the panic about missing kidzzz. Because mums know best (in pictures).

The last time I mislaid a child – my four-year old, in the park, for 15 endless minutes – I wished unashamedly that he could be chipped, like the cat.

You mislaid a child? Surely you lose a child. You mislay your keys. Can you mislay a cat? Interestingly, one of Maxted’s kids – she has three boys - is called Oscar, which is a name ideally suited to a dog.

When Steve Salmon’s young daughter vanished during a family pub lunch (later found petting a pony in the adjacent field), he doubtless wished the same thing. Two years on, Salmon, chief executive of communications firm Lok8u, has launched the equally tongue-twisting NuM8, the world’s first GPS locator for children.

It’s not. A little research on the internet and Anorak finds this – and it is, like Maxted, beyond parody:

Child Locator as Featured in Duracell BrickHouse Child Locator Commercial; Distance Alerts help you keep a watchful eye on your wandering children, in a way that hasn’t been possible before. It’s Not You, All Children Wander; 2,185 Go Missing Every Day. Locate anything or anyone from 600 ft to an inch away. Get a warning from the custom distance alert or via included panic button tag.

It’s brought to you by Brickhouse Security. Brickhouse is a word usually joined to the word “shit”. You may also recall this warning from Anorak:

“New laws to regulate the use of high-tech child-tracking devices are being called for by MPs amid fears they could be used by paedophiles and stalkers. The technology is aimed at parents wanting to keep tabs on their children after a series of high-profile child murders and the disappearance of Madeleine McCann”

And there was this pair who rented out child tracking devices at the airport. While your stick your locator on the nose on your face, Maxted reviews her gadget:

To all appearances, it’s a chunky, child-friendly wristwatch, worn by the subject, that enables the fond parent to track their darling via satellite from a computer or mobile phone. But this is not a gadget for the morally squeamish. Behind the bright colours – choose from aqua blue, hot pink and lime green, or neutral black – the rubber strap contains a “web of reinforced steel”. If anyone – rebellious child or dastardly adult – attempts to remove the locator from its assigned wrist, Mummy or Daddy is alerted from their cappuccino via text…

Better if the in-built blowers began to shape the froth on the cappuccino to form the word “PAEDO” in chocolate.

According to the charity Missing Persons, formerly National Missing Persons Helpline, an estimated 140,000 children and young people run away or go missing every year in the United Kingdom. This, coupled with mothering three boys, has eroded my principles. I cannot wait to tag my kids.

That many, eh? How many are found alive and well? Maxted does not care to say.We do:

Tarling and Burrows’ 2004 study of Metropolitan Police missing person cases found that 99 per cent of cases were resolved within one year.

Any other facts?

A 2004 Home Office study (Newiss and Fairbrother, 2004: 1-6) found that, of the 798 police reports of child abduction and attempted child abduction in England and Wales that year:

• 56 per cent or all reports involved a stranger
• 47 per cent of all reports were ‘attempted child abductions by a stranger’
• 9 per cent of all reports were successful child abductions by a stranger

And…

…of the 798 police reports of child abduction and attempted child abduction in England and Wales that year, 23 per cent involved abduction by a parent.

Back to Maxted of the cappuccino:

Guilt forces me to opt for full disclosure. I tell the seven-year-old, “This is like a Ben 10 watch. You wear it, and I track you, like the police track baddies who try to escape from prison.”

He can but try…

I hunch over my phone in the park café, compulsively following the blue balloon on the screen’s Googlemap that proves that Oscar is safe beyond the trees, racing down the hill on his scooter without a helmet.

No helmet? WTF??!!!

It’s a luxury to sit for five minutes and know that one’s offspring has not been dragged out of the park by a predator.

Mums, eh. Always on the go.

I know he is fine, because my husband has marked a “safe zone” on the map – if Oscar breaches the park perimeter, I receive a warning text, and ‘live tracking’ will commence.

What if your husband’s taken him? What then?

Yet, as the locator doesn’t record heights, there’s always the chance that he might climb a tree – and, sipping espresso while staring at the screen balloon on my phone, if he fell out, I’d be none the wiser until the ambulance arrived.

Cappuccino. Espresso. We’re not medical experts, but we’d consider cutting down on the caffeine.

Suddenly, I feel NuM8’s reassurance is insufficient. I’m ready to step surveillance up a level. Might I suggest the next generation wristwatch comes with a hidden micro-camera, angled at my child’s face?

Then you can watch him being assaulted, smashing his head open or sobbing in real time?

This may be why, when I describe my new toy to Honor Rhodes, director of development at the Family and Parenting Institute, she is unimpressed. “Is this,” she says, “a symptom of panic-stricken but lazy parenting? I wonder what it is that we are trying to guard against, and I think it is that we don’t want our child to be Madeleine McCann. While that was so terrible, the worst thing that could possibly occur, it happens incredibly rarely. Your child is more likely to be struck by lightning.”

Was the media’s Our Maddie struck by lightning?

My resolve is tested when the three-year-old disappears into a school playground. He eventually turns up, happy and breathless, after a game of chase with the big children. I say sternly: “I didn’t know where you were, and I was frightened. Do not run off again!”

At which point he sobs and the big kids point and laugh heartily?

Meanwhile, Over in New Zealand, the tragic death of young child is the subject of the big debate: Aisling Symes was not abducted.

It is “Every parent’s secret dread“.

The tragic story of Aisling Symes captured so many hearts because it was a “lightning rod of dread” for all parents.

And then this:

The spectre of international cases, such as James Bulger, JonBenet Ramsey, and Madeleine McCann are buried deep in parental psyches, she says. However, when these cases are international, we can register but ignore them, she says. Suddenly, a child was missing in New Zealand and all those demons emerged.

And the global media reacts…

Madeleine McCann is missing - still missing. There are no suspects. there is no evidence of what happened to her. Her parents are innocent. Her name is being used to sell goods and services…

Anorak

Posted: 20th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

How Richard Heene Planned To Dissect Falcon Heene’s Remains In Roswell Scam

HAVING proved that the media will watch balloon so long as there is the scent of death attached to it, Richard Heene , father to Loft Boy Falcon Heene, responds to news that his adventures with flight might have been a scam to con a voracious media into featuring him on the telly.

Forget Jail, Richard Heene Should Get An Emmy

Now the media debates Richard Heene’s character, and lots of hacks paid to fill space have something to voice an opinion on. Richard Heene has arrived. The media should thank him not monster him.

But it might not go well. Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden’s says police may well pressing charges against Richard Heene. Now someone claiming to be Richard Heene responds on TMZ:

9. This is Richard. I may not have cable but I do have the internet and I must say I am alarmed at some of the things coming out. Any other inquiries are to be made to my spokesman who I will introduce tomorrow.
I came across this site and this is unreal.

- First of all, this was not a hoax. Falcon WAS missing when the balloon lifted off. Why would we make a hoax with out kid?

- When Falcon was talking about the show, this is what happened: Earlier in the day when we were working on this craft, I told Falcon that someday we would be famous and have our own show and when that happened, he would have to hide in the attic to escape his fans. Are we clear?

- This guy claiming to have worked for me was a fraud. Yes, he will show you my handwriting where I allegedly talk about a plan but it was all a joke at the time.

- Any other questions regarding this incident will be forwarded to my spokesman who I will introduce tomorrow. I will answer more questions tonight.
and please don’t come within 200 meters of my house. Read the note.

Yours truly,
Richard Heene

As Anorak has said, Falcon Heene has two older brothers and given the chance to show up his mum and dad on the telly, he said he did it for “the show”. He also vomited on the Today Show. Falcon Heene is a hero to small boys and TV critics the world over.

But the evidence of Heene’s alleged conniving is massing. On Gawker, 25-year-old researcher Robert Thomas says he and Richard Heene “drew up a master plan to generate a massive media controversy using a weather balloon. To get famous, of course.”

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Anorak

Posted: 18th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Jan Moir Tribute Video: Do The Yes

JAN Moir has her knockers. Hey, joke. As a women’s rights champion, I want to set an example to any impressionable young women who may want to emulate what they might see as a glamorous routine.

Of course, if you want a truly glamorous routine, you can join in with this musical tribute to Jan Moir. It’s the Yes Dance, and it answers a question: Was it us, Jan?

Stephen Gately Gives Jan Moir Her Susan Boyle Moment

How ‘Loathsome’ Jan Moir Buried Herself And Stephen Gately

Jan Moir’s Statement On Stephen Gately ‘Gay Bashing’ Article in Full

Stephen Gately’s Death Becomes A Tale Of Gay Sex, Homophobia And ‘Murder’

the yes dance
symmetry explorer
i do believe i came with a hat
gawker (timelapse)
there i fixed it
vikings

Via: Boing Boing

Anorak

Posted: 17th, October 2009 | In: Terrible TV Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Carter-Ruck Does PR For Trafigura And Bloggers

TRAFIGURA versus The Guardian and the freedom of the press. A reader writes:

I’m surprised you didn’t cover this one Mr. Anorak

Mr Eugenides did:

Looks like Carter-Ruck solicitors should be in the PR business, because neither I nor, I’ll wager, you, had ever heard of Trafigura until they allegedly slapped an injunction on the Guardian prohibiting them from - get this - reporting proceedings in Parliament in which Trafigura’s name had, apparently, been mentioned…

In no particular order, you’re now famous to the readers of, inter alia, Iain Dale, Guido, Dizzy, Next Left, Unity, Chicken Yoghurt, Harry’s Place and Timmy, as well as here and at the Kitchen; between them, they can’t be a kick in the arse off having a higher daily readership than the paper you’ve tried to gag…

The Daily Quail has more:

Marketing experts were stunned today at the success of media law firm Carter-Ruck’s high profile ‘gagging order’ campaign, designed to generate buzz around their client Trafigura’s latest toxic waste product. Brand awareness for the British oil company, described as ‘absurdly evil’ by insiders, rocketed after a cryptic viral ’seed’ appeared in yesterday’s The Guardian.

As AGW says in the forums:

Anorak

Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: Media Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

London Evening Standard Free Paper: Day 1

THE London Evening Standard went free yesterday. If you want one, you just have to take one.

Standard journalists care to tell us about life at free organ..?

Images: via, via, via, via

Anorak

Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Media Destroys Stephen Gately With Drugs And Suicide

STEPHEN Gately died over the weekend. When a celebrity dies the media goes into hyper-drive. In the coming days their will be analysis, praise, eulogies and criticism. But for now there is mourning and chance for whispered tones and mawkishness. And speculation. And talk of suicide and drugs.

Get this from the Press Association:

Mystery over cause of Gately death

Well, until the post-mortem, held tomorrow, there are no hard facts about Gately’s cause of death. But the Belfast Telegraph has a list of causes its working through:

Boyzone’s Stephen Gately didn’t die from drugs, says grieving family

Gately also didn’t die from lots of other things. The introduction of drugs into the narrative is unwarranted, raising more questions than it answers.
The Daily Mail delivers this headline, full of speculation and talks of those drugs:

Stephen Gately: The Boyzone star’s secret life that drove him to lies, pills and depression

Why wait for the post-mortem? The Daily Mail get in early with the critique. And you know he was gay. Oh, yes, dear Daily Mail readers, a gay showbiz star:

And when he did finally come out in a blaze of publicity ten years ago, it coincided with him becoming hooked on drugs to deal with a bout [sic] depression so severe he became a virtual recluse who confided to friends his suicidal thoughts.

So his gayness depressed him? Or was it this:

But he confessed to battling frightful depression after Boyzone split. He said: “It was weird being on your own in Asia promoting yourself and not having your buddies. I was on anti-depressants for a couple of years.”

But he was gay. Gay I tells yer. Gay! The Mail clacks it’s marmalade-coated tongue and sprays flecks of spittle:

The feared backlash from the group’s girl fans did not materialise, but Gately later admitted he was subjected to homophobic abuse in his native Ireland and pulled out of plans to buy a home in Canterbury, Kent, because of anti-gay chants by local teenagers.

Kent is in England. Homophobic abuse can be more subtle and pointed than a few pillocks. And the Mail goes on. Take the words “Gay” and “Depressed” and make the link:

Doctors put Gately on antidepressants, but he quickly became addicted to his medication and later admitted: ‘I was a zombie. On these anti-depressants you can’t even laugh or cry.’

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Anorak

Posted: 12th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (13) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Incest Chic MacKenzie Phillips Introduces David Hasselhoff To Oprah Winfrey

WHILE the British media talks about Katie Price’s rape, over in the US MacKenzie Phillips is selling her story of sex with her father John Phillips, late lead singer of the The Mamas & the Papas. David Hasselhoff approaches.

MacKenzie says at 19 she was raped by her musician father and then partook of a consensual 10-year sexual relationship with him.

“I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father. I don’t remember how it started or, thankfully, how it ended. Was it the first time? Had this happened before? I didn’t know, and I still don’t. All I can say is it was the first time I was aware of it. For a moment, I was in my body…in that horrible truth and then I slide back into a blackout. Your father is suppose to protect you.”

MacKenzie makes he confession in her memoir High on Arrival was released, and repeats it on the Oprah Winfrey show.

Anroak’s Man in The Hollywood Swamp tuned in:

Oprah went there Wednesday and she’s returning today (Friday) when she brings back Mackenzie Phillips for day two of her sordid discussion of how she and daddy did the nasty for ten years. This time, she’s bringing little sis, Chynna Phillips, along for the trudge through the sludge.

After a disappointing 2008-09 season in the ratings, the Big O has been kicking some syndicated ass since last Monday’s Whitney Houston premiere. She stretched that interview into a two-day affair, and cleaned up in the Nielsen overnights in the process.

Looks like she’s hoping for the same from a second appearance by Phillips.

Incest. Viewers can’t get enough of it.

What’s more ghastly than Phillip Garrido hiding Jaycee Dugard in his shed for 18 years and giving her two babies in the process? Mackenzie Phillips having drug-fueled incestuous sex with her father.

Oprah can get Jaycee Dugard in a double-header. The Telegraph glances at Google keywords and provides context:

Her sensational allegations have served to split the only showbiz family who are more dysfunctional than the Jacksons.

Two of John Phillips’ ex-wives, Michelle Phillips and Genevieve Waite, have denounced the story, but what is undisputable is that Phillips has one of the worst and wildest reputations in rock.

So she can be believed? Let’s have a heated debate:

Hell no!

“Mackenzie has a lot of mental illness,” stepmother Michelle Phillips said. “She’s had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years. She was arrested for heroin and coke just recently. She did ‘Celebrity Rehab’ and now she writes a book. The whole thing is timed,” Michelle Phillips said.

You’re dreamin’

I spoke to Michelle this morning by phone; she has not read Mackenzie’s book, published today, called “High on Arrival.” Michelle Phillips says that in 1997, Mackenzie told everyone in their extended family that she and her father, Michelle’s famous former husband, had had a sexual relationship.
“She told me, then she called me back and said, ‘You know I’m joking,’ ” Michelle told me. “I said it wasn’t funny. Mackenzie said, ‘I guess we have different senses of humor.’” - Showbiz 411

Hell yes!

Chynna told US she “knew it was true,”

Making Incest your own cause

She further added “If you open a textbook on incest you can see a picture of the Phillips family,” Phillips said. “We are behaving in a typical way. The instinct is to say it’s not true. The instinct is to deny. The instinct is to brush it under the table. The instinct is to protect the abuser.”

Making the brand

Not to downplay the seriousness of Mackenzie Phillips’ shocking claims against her famous father, but this former actress has launched what will surely be one of the most successful marketing plans for a tell-all book since…well, this doesn’t really compare to anything else. First, Phillips shared a shocker with Oprah. Now, she continues to tell her tale despite input from stepmom Michelle Phillips. By the time this book is on the shelves, there’s no doubt that Mackenzie will be at the top of the New York Times bestseller list. Who says the print industry is struggling? - Gearlive

A celebrity trend

We’re still one father-daughter pairing short of a media-certified trend, but as of this morning “celeb blurred family boundaries” is tracking on the Hollywood horrors power rankings chart with a big up arrow. Hours after McKenzie Phillips’ revelations of her “consensual” sexual relationship with her father swept media by storm, singer/talent judge/tabloid coverboy David Hasselhoff, a man who can’t stand to sit on the sidelines of history, threw his 17-year-old daughter into the car and headed straight over to West Hollywood’s noted sex shop Coco de Meraccording a TMZ report. Too soon? - Gawker

A woman alleges, a book gets sold, media has a new pet subject and MacKenzie Phillips restarts her career…

Anorak

Posted: 25th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

X Factor’s Amie Buck’s Stag Night Special

ONE thing the X Factor has that Strictly Come Dancing does not is offer viewers the ability to learn more about the wannabes. While Strictly stars routinely tell us about their weight, the X Factor tosses up Amie Buck, a product of nominative determinism, and a lap dancer.

The Sun says Amie earns £500-a-week grinding against men’s trousers – lap dancing is popular, of course, because men don’t actually have to dance.

So instead of lap-dancing for men’s approval and money, Amie heads from Newcastle to London to stand on stage before a seated panel of middle-aged men and lipstick lesbians and give full throat to Alicia Keys song Fallin‘.

Better is she can drag out a bout of cancer and a turn on the judges with some actual bona fide tears.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 24th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Jaycee Lee Dugard Story Is Now A TV Film

JAYCEE Dugard Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jaycee Dugard in the news - Jaycee Lee TV film; Phillip Garrido’s non-crimes; the Press releases and how the pigs turned the Garrido compound into a pigsty…

The Garrido Pig Pigsty

Those widely published photos showing the squalid home where kidnapping-rape suspects Phillip Craig Garrido and wife Nancy Garrido lived outside Antioch were a bit misleading.

You mean the pictures of the pigsty sty and the filth?

The photos show rooms strewn with boxes, clothes, garbage and overturned furniture, and a kitchen sink overflowing with pots and pans. But a police investigator involved in the Garrido probe tells us the house on Walnut Avenue, while a bit messy, was hardly the pigsty portrayed in the photos - until the FBI, sheriff deputies and local police went through it.

Cops. Pigsty. Make the link.

“By time we got done, the place was a train wreck,” our source says. “We searched every nook and cranny.”

Two, Two The Lily White Boys

AUTHORITIES ended a week-long search on the property where Jaycee Dugard was allegedly held captive for 18 years. Police had been looking for evidence linking Phillip and Nancy Garrido, charged with kidnapping Dugard in 1991, to two other local child abductions from the late 1980s, but found no “definitive evidence”.

Can you have evidence that isn’t definite. Isn’t non-definite evidence no evidence at all, more of a clue?

The Non-Crime Crime Scene

But after an extensive effort in which archaeological experts and employees of multiple law enforcement agencies combed through more than an acre of land in blistering heat — some on their hands and knees — the search revealed no links to the 1988 abduction of Michaela Garecht or the 1989 disappearance of Ilene Misheloff. “While we did not locate any definitive evidence that provides answers, this operation still holds much value and much potential value,” Hayward police Lt. Chris Orrey said. “We will walk away from these properties knowing that we left no stone unturned.”

Now to check the grounds of all other known rapists in the area as thoroughly - or is it easier just to check on the nutters you’ve already caught?

Jaycee Lee Dugard in Pictures

The Black Box

Mystery Behind Phillip Garrido’s “Black Box”

Every crash site has one:

Many former business associates of Phillip Garrido agreed he was strange. In the years leading up to his arrest for kidnapping Jaycee Dugard, Garrido was rarely without his so-called “Black Box.”

Right on time… Right on time…

“He said he had invented this device which would allow a person to speak without physically speaking and be heard by the listener,” said Contra Costa County private investigator, Ralph Hernandez. Garrido called Hernandez to help convince people his invention worked and wanted to get a patent for the device.

Can you patent a black shoe box?

“He said he was starting a new religion, he also said the box would let you hear voices from the other side and predict the future,” said Antioch businessman, Tim Allen. The black box looks like a small suitcase with a handle and a couple of jacks to attach headphones.

In laymen’s terms a ‘Godot Blaster’.

About one week before his arrest, Garrido asked a friend to keep the box for him. “I thought he was a total kook but I didn’t want to tell him that,” said Allen.

No, best until he is arrested for raping a child and then tell the media…

Garrido Be Praised

Parole panel in ‘99 praised Garrido’s behavior out of prison

Nearly eight years after Jaycee Lee Dugard was kidnapped, Phillip Garrido received a certificate from the U.S. Parole Commission lauding him for his behavior since his release from prison in 1988.

“You are hereby discharged from parole,” the March 9, 1999, certificate read. “After a thorough review of your case, the Commission has decided that you are deserving of an early discharge,” said the document signed by administrator Raymond E. Essex. “You are commended for having responded positively to supervision and for the personal accomplishment(s) you have made.

“The Commission trusts that you will continue to be a productive citizen and obey the laws of society.”

His obedience has yet to proven in a court of law, but as for being productive, he is keeping the media in work.

Jaycee Dugard – Fact Or Fiction?

“Go with your gut” is advice regularly given to women, whether the topic is health, relationships or security.

Says experts like…

Most recently the advice came from Judge Judy speaking on Larry King Live and by a guest commenting on the abduction of California schoolgirl Jaycee Dugard by Phillip Garrido in 1991.

Jaycee Dugard Is On The Telly

Mentorn International is taking a documentary about the kidnapping of Jaycee Lee Dugard to Mipcom, billing it as the first in-depth doc about the 29-year-old.

Captive For 18 Years: The Jaycee Lee Story launches the new Cutting Edge series on Channel 4 on October 1 and features an interview with stepfather Carl Probyn - the first full-length interview that he has recorded, according to Mentorn.

The rape of a child , her impregnation and her kids - now that’s entertainment…

The Press Release:

Business wire: “Statement of Former U.S. Attorney McGregor Scott, of Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe LLP, Attorney for Ms. Jaycee Dugard”

At their request, I met with Ms. Jaycee Dugard and her mother, Mrs. Terry Probyn, last week and offered to help Jaycee and her daughters on a pro bono basis as they move forward with their lives. As everyone can imagine, there are a host of legal issues that the family confronts, especially the prosecution of Jaycee’s abductors. In addition, the family faces an onslaught of media attention that the family understands but does not invite.

Terry Probyn asked me to pass on the following message of thanks from her:

“Jaycee, her daughters, and I are grateful for everyone’s generosity, kindness, and good wishes these past few weeks. Thank you. All of us are doing very well under the circumstances. We especially appreciate everyone recognizing that what we need most right now is to be allowed to become a family again within a zone of privacy and security. We hope that our story focuses attention on all of the children still missing, and on their need to be found. We must keep looking for them. As Jaycee shows, miracles can happen.”

The press release concludes:

We greatly hope members of the media respect the privacy of the Probyn and Dugard families during this time. Any inquiries can be made to me or Ms. Erika Price Schulte.

Privacy asked for in the media. Privacy secured.

Jaycee Lee Dugard in Pictures

Anorak

Posted: 23rd, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Madeleine McCann: New Prime Suspect As Child Snatched On Beach

MADELEINE McCann Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Madeleine McCann in the news: A child is stolen on a Cyrus beach, Ben Needham is missing. Madeleine McCann is a keyword and Donal MacIntyre identifies the prime suspect…

The Sun: “Stranger snatched Brit tot, 2, off holiday isle beach”

A MUM told yesterday how a stranger snatched her two-year-old son off a beach on a sunshine island - as she watched in horror. The man grabbed little Presley Cassell and fled.

Horror:

The toddler’s dad Nicholas gave chase and grabbed Presley back 30 yards down the beach in Cyprus before the kidnapper could reach a car. Presley’s mum Keeley, 33, said: “He just picked up Presley and ran off down the beach. It happened right in front of our eyes. It was every parent’s nightmare.”

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Anorak

Posted: 21st, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Loch Ness Gollum Monster Washes Up In Panama: Pictures

NO sharks in the seas this summer, but the long wait for a tabloid monster is over  - Gollum Ness is discovered languishing on rock in Panama, where, as is alleged has it, local children on their way to a kebab shop beat it to death. As reported:

According to reports in Panama, the teenagers spotted the creature crawling out of a cave while playing in the town of Cerro Azul north of Panama City. Fearing for the safety as it moved towards them, the youths claim they attacked the beast with sticks before throwing its lifeless body into a pool of water.

And then? And then.. And then it went missing.

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Anorak

Posted: 17th, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

A Day In the Life Of Madeleine McCann’s Private Detectives

ANORAK reader Bat E. Bird spots this news of Madeleine McCann in the Belfast Telegraph, as we spend a day with the private detectives:

Madeleine McCann ‘is in a secret lair’

Leading to…

Ulster detective leading the hunt on why he thinks she’s being held captive just like Jaycee Dugard

Jaycee Dugard and Madeleine McCann. Compare and contrast. With free Google keywords points for linking either girl to Victoria Beckham:

The Ulster detective leading the search for Madeleine McCann today reveals his most chilling theories yet, exclusively to Sunday Life. Hardened ex-RUC cop Dave Edgar told us he is convinced that little Maddie is imprisoned in a hellish lair – just like kidnapped sex slave Jaycee Lee Dugard.

This is Dave Edgar who wanted to talks with Raymond Hewlett and of whom the Mail said in light of the Victoria Beckham look-alike:

Private detectives leading the hunt for Madeleine McCann faced questions last night after a Mail on Sunday investigation revealed apparent shortcomings in chasing a ‘strong lead’. The detectives failed to make even rudimentary inquiries before announcing a ‘significant’ development in the worldwide search for the six-year-old.

Now here’s Dave Edgar to tell us:

He insisted the “back from the dead” reappearance of Jaycee – and the cases of Austrian cellar girls Elisabeth Fritzl and Natascha Kampusch – confirmed his suspicion.

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Anorak

Posted: 13th, September 2009 | In: Gallery, Madeleine McCann, Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Oprah Winfrey Wants Jaycee Dugard

JAYCEE Lee Dugard - Anorak’s look at Jaycee Dugard in the news: Oprah Winfrey wants Jaycee and Garridos’ neighbour Cheyvonne Molino talks, and talks…

Oprah Winfrey has gotta have Jaycee Dugard on her show. Why? Well, it’s telly. And if it’s on the telly then it must be important. Nothing worthwhile exists beyond the telly.

“I want that interview. Obviously, like everyone else in this business, I have ‘my people’ working on that. Now, this is the truth… I really don’t care about getting interviews first and all that stuff… Really, truly, I don’t play that game. I feel like if somebody wants to talk to me, they will talk to me. If they don’t want to talk to me and they want to talk to whomever, fine. But this is the one I want. It’s the first time I have ever called up my producers and said, ‘Are we on this story? Because I want that interview!”

How much will she pay? In other yelly news, Phillip Garrido’s neighbour is conducting interviews:

CBS: “Phillip Garrido Client Wants Jaycee Dugard To Tell the Truth About Her Ordeal”

[Cheyvonne] Molino told the Early Show’s Julie Chen in an interview that she knew Garrido well. “I met his daughters, I watched them grow up.”

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Anorak

Posted: 11th, September 2009 | In: Media Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Madeleine McCann Linked To Claudia Lawrence Case

MADELEINE McCann Watch: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Madeleine McCann in the news: Because all missing persons must be put in the context of Madeleine McCann, that benchmark for the vanished, the mother of missing Malton chef Claudia Lawrence is ready to talk to the McCanns.

Frustrated by the lack of progress in the police investigation, Joan Lawrence said she was thinking of going on the speaking circuit to spread the word about Claudia’s mysterious disappearance.

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Anorak

Posted: 11th, September 2009 | In: Madeleine McCann, Media Comments (85) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Lindsay Lohan Is Face And Camel Toe For Ungaro

SO why is Lindsay Lohan the new “artistic advisor” to designer Emanuel Ungaro? Is it her work with gilded turds, her patronage of the TurdWear brand that enables young with-its to lay a turd just like Lindsay?

Mounir Moufarrige, Ungaro’s chief executive officer, says “the noise level around Lindsay will be very, very big.”

It’s all about the buzz. Hear that? That is the buzz. Says Lindzzzzzzzzzay Lohan:

“When I’m involved in a project, I give my all to it. I feel like there’s a correlation between everything I do, whether it’s pop music or film. I’ve always played a big part in what I wear, the costumes. Clothing is something that’s so expressive in so many ways. It really interests me.”

Clothing is a thing of interest to Lindsay. She really did deliberately pull her undercarriage into a pair of Max Wall’s old leggings that showed off the contours to her primary sexual characteristics.

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Anorak

Posted: 9th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Richard Littlejohn’s Problem With Barack The Dog

RICHARD Littlejohn’s column has, as his wont, gone to hell in a handbasket, as the Mail’s great sage tells his readers of Shropshire’s Kate Pong, who gave birth to quintuplets Beyone, Barack, Bobbi, Tyra and Earl.

My first reaction was that this must be a wind-up, probably placed for a bet by someone at the swine flu hotline with nothing better to do.

We rang The Times advertising department and they assured us it was genuine. There’s no mention of a Mr Pong, or any father’s name for that matter.

If true, which I still doubt, somewhere out there in Shropshire is a single mother called Kate Pong with quins, variously named after an American pop singer, a model and the U.S. President. You couldn’t make it up.

No, but you could check your facts. MacGuffin looked up the story and discovered that it is true:

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Anorak

Posted: 8th, September 2009 | In: Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

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