The 14 Ten Most Offensive Google Search Results
MICHELLE Obama is the number one monkey on Google search – type in ‘Michelle Obama’ and you can a likeness of the President’s wife. As any book buyer, cartoonist, puppet enthusaist, Austrian pundit, animation fan, zoo worker, and Curious George lover knows, this is exactly what Michelle Obama looks like. From Ahmadinejad to Palin, all the world’s leaders are monkeys, save for Gordon Brown who is a cuckoo.
Anorak had been searching the web for other ways to be offended. And we now bring you the 10 most offensive image search results on Google. These images are all No.1 on the Google hits parade:
9george-bush
Posted: 25th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Pirelli 2010 Calendar In Artful Nudity (NSFW)
THE 2010 Pirelli Calendar is erotica for men who spend a long time looking at tyres. Michelin has restaurants and Pirelli has women. No moves into the world of spas for Continental, yet. In our NSFW (unless your place of work is a garage), we see Daisy Lowe, Lily Cole, Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley, Marloes Horst, Catherine McNeil, Georgina Stojiljkovic, Enriko Mihalik, and Miranda Kerr working with photographer Terry Richardson to make soft porn look like soft porn you can hang on wall in your garage.
Posted: 23rd, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
In Pictures: The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
AFTER the backstage pictures of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, we now bring your fashion lovers the 2009 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York City, in pictures.
Featuring Behati Prinsloo, Marisa Miller, Heidi Klum, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr, Alessandra Ambrosio, the Black Eyed Peas and a host of underwear enthusiasts:
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Posted: 21st, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show In Pictures: The Black Eyed Peas, Miranda Kerr And The $3Million Bra
IN our gallery, Anorak’s woman with a backstage pass goes behind the scenes at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, at the Lexington Armory in New York. Pictures of the Black Eyed Peas, Marisa Miller, Heidi Klum, Miranda Keer and a $3million bra follow.
(Anorak readers have been asking for more pictures of young, buff men, for research purposes. And we have listened. Pay attention to the images of Doutzen Kroes Miranda Kerr, in which nice men feature…)
Pictures of the show here.
Posted: 20th, November 2009 | In: The Consumer Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Angelina Jolie Is Named UN Ambassador For Next Of Kin
ANGELINA Jolie will adopt a child from Syria. So says OK! magazine.
Right now Syrian children are smoothing down their hair and widening their eyes. Mums dreaming of Amerika are kicking their children out into the cold night air. Coachloads of Iranians booking package tours to Damascus. This is it. This is the Willy Wonka moment.
Ethiopia. Cambodia. Vietnam. She’s working her way up the Fifa rankings. Had Graham Taylor remained in charge for another few seasons, England might have figured between Mauritania and Andorra.
Posted: 11th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
In Pictures: Rihanna’s Nipples Present Glamour Magazine’s Women Of The Year
ANORAK’S Man in New York was at The 2009 Women of the Year hosted by Glamour Magazine at Carnegie Hall, NY. Also ether were such woman of substance as Rihanna, Serena Williams, Steven Tyler, Andie MacDowell and Rainey Qualley, Anna Chlumsky, Lisa Ling, Amanda Righetti – pause; fans face with hand- Padma Lakshmi, Iman, Stephanie March, Maria Shriver, Katharine McPhee and Estelle.
The top women of the year are the singer Rihanna, for services to getting beaten up and showing your nipples – and Michelle Obama, for being married to Barack Obama, who defeated Hillary Clinton to become president of the world in a fight where racism was defeated by misogyny. The other top women are all given pithy bios:
Posted: 10th, November 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Geisy Arruda And Brazil’s War On The Mini Skirt, Video
THAT’S Brazilian student Geisy Arruda, aged 20, being heckled and roughed-up by students at Sao Paulo’s Bandeirante University for the heinous crime of going equipped in a mini skirt.
This is a big deal in Brazil, home of the prude. So big is the issue that as students chanted “whore” police coved Ms Arruda in a big white coat and spirited her away.
The university then expelled her for a “flagrant lack of respect for ethical principles, academic dignity and morality”.
Posted: 9th, November 2009 | In: Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Linsday Lohan And Mischa Barton’s Death Battle
FOR the first time in weeks, the National Enquirer leads with no picture of Angelina Jolie. And she should not be downhearted because the cover is dominated by the headline: “WHO’LL DIE FIRST?”
Readers are invited to pick from Mischa Barton, Kirstie Alley, Lindsay Lohan, Robin Williams, Whitney Houston, Tori Spelling, The Hoff, Pamela Anderson and Simon Cowell.
With no dead star for a while, the NE is inviting readers to help it decide which obits to have ready by pressing F1 to F9 on the keyboard.
Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: National Enquirer Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
BNP Leader Nick Griffin Lampoons Himself
NICK Griffin , of the BNP, has not even taken the stand at the BBC’s Question Time and he is already losing his thread. Following the shocking news that war is not a place for extremists, Griffin of the cartoon tells us:
“Those Tory generals who today attacked the British National Party should remember that at the Nuremburg Trials, the politicians and generals accused of waging illegal aggressive wars were all charged — and hanged — together.
“Sir Richard and Sir Mike fall squarely into this bracket, and they must not think that they will escape culpability for pursuing the illegal wars in Iran and Afghanistan… These two gentlemen are Tories who have seen the traditional Conservative vote in the army, from private level up to senior officers, dissolve away and turn into BNP votes”.
Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: Politicians Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Ahmadinjad’s Iran Uses Elephants To Make Nuclear Bombs
MAHMOUD Ahdmadinejad’s Iran moves closer to getting the bomb that will kill us all and give the man we call Mori Schneider a Holocaust her can truly believe in.
(Mori, they come for the gay Jews first - run, Mori. Run!)
And you know how he’s getting the bomb? The Times does. It’s elephants.
Iran is killing them in their hundreds…
Posted: 5th, October 2009 | In: Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Zionists Get The Bomb And A Decent Suit In Ahmadinejad’s Iran
NEWS that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – nee Mori Schneider – is a Jew adds fires to the Zionist conspiracy as Iran gets the nuclear bomb.
Next week Anorak will bring you proof that Ahmadinejad is Iran’s only gay man, and reveal that his wife is none other than Peter Mandelson, who married Iran’s Jewish leader as part of a deal that secured the release of British servicemen.
Posted: 5th, October 2009 | In: Politicians Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kirby Dick’s OUTRAGE Aginst Gay Hypocrites
IN a week in which Iran’s only gay Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, aka Maurice Schneider, is found out for over-compensating for his Jewish roots, Anorak spots OUTRAGE, an official selection of the 2009 Tribeca Film Festival, which “investigates the hidden lives of some of the country’s most powerful policymakers - from now-retired Idaho Senator Larry Craig, to former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy - and examines how these and other politicians have inflicted damage on millions of Americans by opposing gay rights.”
Posted: 4th, October 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Ahmadinejad Is A Zionist Gay Self-Hating Jew
MARK Steyn adds to our story that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a Jew:
“Next thing you know he’ll turn out to be one of those homosexuals he says Iran doesn’t have.”
Jews are everywhere. The control the media, the banks and now Iran. It’s all a huge conspiracy, I tells yer…
Posted: 3rd, October 2009 | In: Politicians Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is A Self-Hating Jew
NO sooner does Danish cartoonist Kurt Westergaard says that Muslims need to develop a sense of humour and an appreciation of satire than Mahmoud Ahmadinejad let’s it be known that he’s Jewish.
Westergaard – he of those Prophet cartoons – says Muslims are not “free of being mocked or being offended.”
Jews, on the other hand, love being mocked and offended, and giving offence – just so long as it’s funny.
Posted: 3rd, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michelle Obama Is Barack’s Special Envoy To Iran
SEE if you can guess which Obama – Michelle or Barack said the following:
A: “It’s a battle — we’re going to win — take no prisoners.”
B: “I’m not interested in victory…”
Posted: 1st, October 2009 | In: Barack Obama, Gallery Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
X Factor Amie Buck’s Sex In A Peugeot 306
GREAT news of X Factor agonist Amie Buck, the surgicall enhanced Amy Winehouse look-alike warbler who paid for her new breasts through stripping (surely she put herself through law school – Ed) and now occupies minds in the media:
X Factor stripper Amie Buck is such an ardent lover of football players that she could even end up with a soccer team of her own.
On the mantelpiece in her house? It turns out that Amie has not a collection of football dolls, but a harvest of real-life football gonks:
Buck, 22, is currently dating Arsenal ace Kieran Gibbs, 20, but he’s not the first footballer she has dated.
Posted: 28th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Says Iran Has One Maybe Two Radioactive Gays
HATS to Iran for telling the world of a secret uranium-enrichment plant.
As Glenn Reynolds says: “So bomb that one, too. . . ”
Officials told The Associated Press Friday, a development that could heighten fears about Iran’s ability to produce a nuclear weapon and escalate its diplomatic confrontation with the West.
In other news, Mahmoud AhMADinejad says Iran has one may two homosexuals and invites the Israelis to bomb them, too…
Say he:
Although if you look, it looks like more.
Jimmy Carter Haw Haws Ahmadinejad
Posted: 25th, September 2009 | In: Politicians Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Anti-Obama Gadsden Flag Shows We’re All Hezbollah Now
IN Barack Obama’s Post-racial America, there is no race, there is only racism. Republican congressman from the South, Joe Wilson, heckles Obama during a speech on health reform to a joint session of Congress, belching, “You lie.”
So then former US President and author Jimmy Carter opines:
“There is a feeling among many people in this country that an African-American is not allowed to be president, not allowed to be given the same respect.”
The media world goes into spasm. Obama fields the question on child-rape enthusiast David Letterman’s show Says Barry:
“It’s important to realize that I was actually black before the election.”
But other with vested interests speak up. Spike Lee is invited on Newsnight, the BBC politics show, to opine:
“I never drank that post-racial Kool-Aid. He [President Obama] was not Harry Houdini. He was not going to be ‘abracadabra, presto change-o’ overnight poof, racism disappears. I never thought that.”
Miranda Devine, writing in the Sydney Morning Herald, tunes into the din:
The New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd claimed she could hear the unspoken word ”boy” on Wilson’s lips as he heckled the President - which says more about her inner life than Wilson’s. “…what I heard was an unspoken word in the air: ‘You lie, boy!’ Some people just can’t believe a black man is president and will never accept it.”
Anyone else hear boy?
Then there was the Georgetown University sociologist Michael Eric Dyson, who claimed racism was proved by the fact Obama could be applauded for calling the African-Americans rapper Kanye West ”a jackass … But when he calls an anonymous white guy stupid by implication, he has to nearly apologise to the nation. How dare a black man stand in judgment of white intelligence?”
How dare a white man comment on the Cameroon national team, the West Indies or the Dizzee Rascal’s latest hit? How very dare you!
Personally, I tend to agree with President Carter. While certainly not all the anger being publicly vented today can be tied to racism, I believe there is an underlying current of it smoldering [sic] beneath the public discourse and no one dares to mention the pink elephant in the room. Carter was never afraid to speak his mind, which probably cost him a second term as president - Dr Judith Rich, Huff Po.
The headline screams:
COMMENTARY: Carter is right: It smacks of racism
And writing in the Guardian, Daniel Nasaw just knows:
Hundreds of thousands of angry conservatives flocked to Washington on 12 September to oppose Obama’s effort to provide healthcare for all Americans, his pouring of public money into the US economy to save it from collapse, and just about ¬everything else the new president has done or promised to do. The frothing-mad protesters carried signs denouncing the nation’s first African-American president as a Nazi, a socialist, a lump of human waste, the Joker from Batman, and, perhaps most disturbingly, an African witchdoctor.
Maaaaaad. Frothing mouthed. Rabid.
But thousands also carried the flag that is fast becoming a symbol of backlash against the president: a bellicose yellow banner depicting a rattlesnake poised to strike and bearing the slogan, “Don’t tread on me.” Known as the Gadsden flag for its purported creator, Colonel Christopher Gadsden, it was a revolutionary war-era naval standard that was carried into battle during the civil war and flown during both world wars.
Yellow banned with picture on the front held aloft by racist nutters. Where have we seen that before..?
The fury at the protests was palpable – a resentful amalgam of cultural, political and racial animosity levelled at a president…
Among the crowd specific complaints were few, giving the event the feel of a protest against a man and against history rather than any policies. The level of vitriol aimed at the president seemed out of whack with the substance of the grievances. What is it about Obama’s healthcare proposal that makes steam boil out of people’s ears?…
Although the participants in the protest were almost all white, the ¬ reality is more complicated than classic American Jim Crow racism…
In addition, many Americans who would not describe themselves as racists and who claim black acquaintances and listen to black music nevertheless hold deep-seated racial antipathy they are unlikely to express or acknowledge, even to themselves. With its signs and slogans ostensibly aimed at the president’s policies, the anti-Obama movement has given these people what seems like a legitimate way to express their discomfort at seeing a black man from Chicago’s South Side in the White House…
Perhaps the Gadsden flag will similarly re-emerge as a symbol for all Americans, not just reactionary Obama-haters. Next year in South Africa, anyone?
But the last word is with the cartoonist, who delivers this joyous rebuttal…
It’s not that they stick up for freedom and rights - it’s just that they’re on the other side.
Spotter: Barcepundit
Posted: 23rd, September 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Chris de Burgh’s Red Mist Over Irish Times Concert Review
CHRIS de Burgh, has followed the work of Alain de Botton by responding to an unfavourable review in print.
De Botton’s words followed a poor review of de Botton’s book The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work, by Caleb Crain in The New York Times. He wrote thus:
“I will hate you till the day I die and wish you nothing but ill will in every career move you make. I will be watching with interest and schadenfreude.”
Perhaps if De Botton’s work were as interesting as his missives it’d be a hit? No another ‘De’ is at, as Chris de Burgh, a man who rhymed “dance” with “romance” and “chance” reacts to Peter Crawley’s review of one of his concerts in the Irish Times.
“A small man appears in suit trousers and a white shirt, giving a little wave, like a businessman happy to have finished a long day of conference calls.”
Dear Mr Crawley,
Posted: 12th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Killer Giant Piranha Hiding In British River
GREAT news for staycationers is that a giant piranha has been found in the river Torridge, Devon.
The better news is that the fish was dead and is “thought to have been an abandoned pet“.
So a fish fancier tossed their dead piranha into the river and ran off, possibly laughing. Right? Wrong. The Guardian senses a scare story in the making:
Its discovery will add, however, to experts’ anxieties about non-native wildlife being introduced to the UK.
Will it? What it tells us is that the Environment Agency, the vested interest group that told the press about the dead fish, is using the dead fish to prove some kind of point, presumably that non-native species introduced to the UK die.
Eddie Stevens, one of the EA’s three-man monitoring team, said they were “left open-mouthed by their discovery”.
“What we actually came across was something which we would not expect to find in our wildest dreams. We could hardly believe our eyes.”
In your wildest dream you might expect to find a mermaid riding Loch Ness. In beyond your wildest dreams you may expect to find a mermaid riding Loch Ness while having coitus with Noel Edmonds. But not the EA’s man in the big wellies. His wildest dreams are about finding a fish in a river. A dead one.
Used to more temperate climes, the fish probably could not tolerate the cold waters, the agency said. A closer examination revealed that its stomach was full of sweetcorn – further evidence it may have been kept as a domestic pet.
Full of sweetcorn. So it had recently eaten. And died. Unless it had died and then was stuffed with tinned sweetcorn by an amateur taxidermist? And so to the point of the press release:
The introduction of non-native species poses a serious threat to native wildlife, according to the agency. Mark Diamond, an ecology manager, said: “Whilst piranhas can’t survive the colder climates of the UK, this latest find highlights a real issue – that releasing unwanted exotic pets or plants into rivers can have serious consequences for native wildlife.”
Yeah, like giving the pike some unusual protein to chow down on. Also, watch out for the men in big boots…
Posted: 28th, August 2009 | In: Media, Scare Stories Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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