Nominative Determinism: Heidi Montag Is Heidi Pratt
HEIDI Montag has married Spencer Pratt.
If there were ever a cause of nominative determinalism by design then this is it. And now the Pratts call BOASTS and order a gaggle of little Pratts:
“Heidi wants four boys,” Us magazine.com quoted Montag’s sister-in-law Stephanie Pratt as saying.
“Four Spencer Pratts!” she added.
Posted: 8th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
World’s Most Bizarre Name: Shit Fun Chew
SHIT FUN Chew has the world’s most bizarre name.
Shit Fun Chew is the co-author of Ornithine-urea cycle and urea synthesis in African lungfishesm, as produced by the Department of Biological Sciences, National University of Singapore.
His work features in the Journal of Experimental Zoology.
We wonder if Mr Shit Fun Chew has a name that lends itself to zoology, and if Mr Fun Chew is the product of nominative determinalism?
Or just unlucky?
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Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michael Savage Plans To Sue Jacqui Smith
US SHOCK Jock Michael Savage is on the name of those not wanted in the UK.
Sadly, the list does not include some those already here, just those who might want to come here, possibly as part of an invading army. And, as it turns out, some of those on the list don’t want to come here. Like Michael Savage, who - as ever - is a man shaped by nominative determinalism:
Posted: 5th, May 2009 | In: Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The UK’s Least Wanted: List Of The Banned
SINCE October 2008, 22 people have been banned from entering the UK. The list is published hereunder - albeit less those six names withheld by the government in the “public interest”.
(How can it be in your interest not to know your enemy?)
The least wanted:
Posted: 5th, May 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Secretary Bites Off Boss’s Penis
TO a car in Singapore, China, where a secretary is giving oral sex to her employer when their car is hit by a reversing drive, the impact causing her to bite off his penis.
In a homage to nominative determinalism, the story is reported in the, er, Sin Chew Daily.
Posted: 5th, May 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Desirée Rogers Says Obama To Star In Soap Opera
DESIREE Rogers, aka Desirée Rogers, is not only a product of nominative determinalism, but also the White House Social Secretary.
She is talking Brand Barack Obama with the Wall Street Journal, and how He is like a bar of soap: Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 1st, May 2009 | In: Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Georgia’s Would-Be Governor Says He Won’t Have Sex With A Mule Again
DYLAN Otto Krider profiles Neal Horsey, Georgia Creator’s Rights Party candidate for governor. It turns out that Mr Horsey has had sex with a mule - can anyone now argue with Nominative Determinalism?
Berfore we get to Krider’s interview, here’s a snippet of his confession on Alan Colmes, a FOX News radio program host:
NH: “Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.”
Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Politicians Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
BARBIE is 50 years of age, and having been reworked in much plastic, the super-skinny role model for millions of mums and daughters, and some sons and dads (you know who you are), takes a break from eating - she’s mad for food! - to get some tattoo ink, like Amy Winehouse.
It’s the Amy Winehouse Middle-Aged Crisis Barbie Doll.
Enjoy the video. It is beyond parody.
And loo out for: the reporter on the wings (nothing creepy there), the bearded inkologist called Michael Hair (nominative determinalism) and a report trying to eke sensation from a sticker by way of medical expert opinion and worried mums.
Video:
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Posted: 30th, April 2009 | In: Money Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SWINE Flu is upon us and the papers and London-based broadcast media are embracing it like risen again Jade Goody. This is the big scare story the media can really sink its teeth into.
Already this morning GMTV has broadcast “LIVE” from outside Manchester Airport, where people might be soon flying in from pig-ravaged Mexico. Or pigs might be flying in. Reach for the skies!
Posted: 29th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media, Scare Stories Comments (16) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Fattest Mum Raises Triplet Babies On McDonald’s
THE country’s “Fattest mother” – Leanne Salt - feeds her triplets on McDonald’s fast food. The children are eight-months-old.
The woman’s name? Mrs Salt.
And so we add a page to Anorak’s Nominative Determinalism Guide Book.
Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Media Comments (16) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Iain and Dawn Askham are Britain’s First Swine Flu Victims
IAIN and Dawn Askham, of Polmont, near Falkirk, are the British newlyweds who contracted swine flu on honeymoon in Mexico.
Note: Ask-ham - more nominative determinalism.
They are in hospital in Scotland and said to be “recovering well”.
It’s one for the family album as Dawn and Iain make it into the big media and thus always remember those halcyon days in the sun.
Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
ANORAK reader Michael Kritharis (more nominative determinalism from MK) writs to tell us of the Twitter brothel, and that House of Divine Milton Keynes has tweeted to say that Lucia and Karol are working on Sunday.
In a further tweet, enthusiasts are offered a “Twitter Discount” – 140–strokes or fewer.
Posted: 27th, April 2009 | In: Technology Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Gay Politician Threatens To Murder Miss California
ALAN Duncan, gay shadow Leader of the House of Commons, is on BBC’s TV’s Have I Got News For You, making a death threat against one Miss Carrie Prejean, 21, star of the Miss America beauty pageant.
(Carrie Prejean – nominative determinalism at work again.)
When asked by Perez Hilton whether the U.S. should legalise gay marriage in every state, Prejean replied:
Posted: 27th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Hollie Steel Beats Susan Boyle
HOLLIE Steel will Lance La Boyle. Susan Boyle is now faced with a two-pronged attack from Shaheen Jafargholi and Hollie Steel.
If nominative determinalism counts for anything, Steel will impale Boyle on the point of a sharpened majorette’s baton.
Hollie is the newest most sensational performer on planet Britain’s Got Talent. Hollie is ten, and has yet to grow facial hair and be sufficiently bullied to command a sympathetic back story.
Posted: 25th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Susan Boyle Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Kanye West Uses Naked Lover Amber Rose To Model His Shoes
KANYE West features in Louis Vuitton’s new ad campaign to sell his range of shoes.
Do you see the shoes?
If you buy these shoes, you too can have an ex-lesbian model called Amber Rose (nominative determinalism again, folks) to warm your crotch.
Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade Goody’s Jack Tweed Is On Suicide Watch
BERFORE we get to the news that “Fragile” Jack Tweed, Mr Jade Goody, is on “suicide lag wing”, we introduce Sun scribes JAMES CLENCH and ANDY CRICK to nominative determinalism.
Clench and Crick tell us:
FRAGILE Jack Tweed has been locked in a tough jail’s secure hospital wing to protect him from hard-case lags, we can reveal. Bosses at Chelmsford Prison have put the terrified 21-year-old in a single cell alongside inmates on suicide watch amid fears he will be targeted.
Posted: 16th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (13) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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