Missing Shannon Turns Up Fives Days Later Beneath Baby Sitter’s Bed

IN Florida, 7-month-old Shannon Dedrick has been missing for five days. She turns up under baby sitter Susan Elizabeth Baker’s bed.

Police are looking to charge Baker, her husband James Arthur Baker and Chrystina Lynn Mercer, the child’s mother, with whatever they can.

On Saturday the child is reported missing.

On Monday, County Sheriff Bobby Haddock (nominative determinism, folks) told us:

“We have searched every dumpster in the city limits of Chipley, we have turned over every garbage can.”

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Anorak

Posted: 5th, November 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Nutt And The Call For Cocaine To Be New Gold Standard

PROFESSOR David Nutt, has been sacked as the Government’s chief advisor on drugs’ misuse policy for saying that booze is worse for you than LSD and hash.

“Alcohol ranks as the fifth most harmful drug after heroin, cocaine, barbiturates and methadone. Tobacco is ranked ninth. Cannabis, LSD and ecstasy, while harmful, are ranked lower at 11, 14 and 18 respectively.”

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Anorak

Posted: 4th, November 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

X Factor: Finding Another Reason To Hate Gay Danyl Johnson

THE media hatchet job on the X Factor Danyl Johnson continues as the NoTW screams:

Danyl Johnson’s 100% gay

Not too long ago, the NoTW told us that Danyl Johnson was “bi”, which made him 50% gay.

I’VE DAN IT WITH BOYS AND GIRLS

Now we get the fact that he is 100% gay. Or as the sub-header puts it:

EX BOSS RECKONS X FACTOR STAR’S BISEXUAL BOAST IS JUST A POSE

Paige Bond, who managed his old band, said he was NEVER interested in women but was terrified that admitting he was gay would wreck his shot at stardom.

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Anorak

Posted: 1st, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Katie Price: Peter Andre’s ‘Sham’ Marriage, Alex Reid’s New Jordan And Tabloid ‘Lies’

KATIE Price Watch: Katie heads to Afghanistan, Alex Reid heads home, Peter Andre’s songs, Amy Price speaks truth and a new Jordan…

Katie Mum Tells The Truth

Daily Mirror: “My fury at Peter by Katie’s mother - PETE WAS SO COLD TO KATIE”

Pete, who looks like you could fry an egg on his torso, is cold?

She’s kept a dignified silence over the acrimonious break-up of her daughter’s Katie Price’s marriage.

Dignity is word much used and used in the tale of Katie and Peter.

She said: “I’m so angry and somebody has to start sticking up for Kate. As much as I don’t want to say anything, people have to hear the truth.”

The troof is?

But she said that several months before the break-up, she was stunned at lyrics Peter had written for his new album. She said: “It was about failing relationships and he was continually running her down. I thought maybe this was what songwriters did, but then I thought, ‘Hang on, how could he do that?’ “They were still married and it was just wrong, not normal. It was almost as if the last year was all pre-planned and little more than a sham.”

Anyone else anything to add?

Daily Star: “‘SHE’S A NASTY SELFISH BITCH’”

JORDAN has been branded a “nasty selfish bitch” by her best friend of 15 years. Michelle Clack, 30, was chief bridesmaid for Kate when she wed Peter Andre.

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Anorak

Posted: 26th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Nominative Determinism With Rape Artist Kok Foo Lim

IN today’s look at nominative determinism – the science of taking after your name – Anorak spots Kok Foo Lim, who posed as a taxi driver with the intend of luring drunk men into his car and then sexually assaulting them.

The District Court in Perth, Australia, finds Kok Fool Lim guilty of 15 counts of sexual penetration without consent, 11 counts of indecent assault and one count of unlawful wounding.

It’s all very grim:

Many of the victims were unaware of the crimes committed against them until contacted by police and shown photos or videos of the offences.

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Anorak

Posted: 19th, October 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

X Factor: On The Shayne Ward Protest March And Leona Lewis Is Attacked

X Factor news: On the protest march with Shane Ward’s barmy army; and Leona Lewis is attacked…

SHAYNE Ward. Anyone? Yes, you the man with the Marcel curl and packet of Monster Munch? No, sir, it’s not a voting district in Melbourne. Anyone..? Madam! Yes… Nice try. But Shayne has, to the best of our knowledge never squired a potbelly pig on a Thai beach.

Shall we tell you? OK. A Shane Ward is… Well, they can tell you. The Manchester Evening News knows:

FANS of X Factor winner Shayne Ward have taken to the streets of Manchester to protest at delays in releasing his new album.

What do we want? To spend our money on manufactured reality TV musicians and corporate record companies! When do we want it? Before we hit puberty!

The singer, from Clayton, shot to fame after winning the X Factor three years ago, but has not released any new material for almost two years.

Because he’s so popular that if he releases an album there is the risk that unless everyone can buy one there will be riots and looting?

Fan Julie Nelson-Littleproud said that she felt forced to act after Shayne’s record label repeatedly delayed the release of his third album.

Julie Nelson-Littleproud is a product of nominative determinism. She is:

Superfan Julie Nelson-Littleproud, who is the woman behind the protest… “[Shayne is] just a normal person, really down-to-earth and so easy to talk to, not at all struck by stardom. He appreciates his fans and he always does the best for them.”

That was earlier in the month. Now Julie is at large once more:

“We, the fans, want a new album, we want a new tour and we want Shayne to be given the chance to shine like the star we know he truly is.”

Shayne is said to be recording an album in a studio – an album that will be released early next year in time for the January sales.

Meanwhile, another X Factor winner, Leona Lewis, has reportedly been slapped during a book signing at Waterstone’s’ Piccadilly shop in London.

When a celebrity is involved the Celebrity Police Force is swift to act, grabbing a camera, a big felt tip and a pot of Touché Eclat.

Says an officer for Scotland Yard, showing his good side to camera:

“The female did not require hospital treatment – we are at the scene.”

Drama, indeed. Shayne Ward may well be best to remain wherever he is…

Spotter: Bat E Bird in the forums

Anorak

Posted: 14th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Supermarket Bans Under 25s From Buying Daily Mail And All Newspapers

ANORAK likes to spot new trends in journalism, and we bring you tales from the aisles, the casebooks of the supermarket police force, who serve to ban you from buying inappropriate goods.

One day supermarkets will ban under 25s from buying newspapers, full as they with scare stories and porn. But not many under 25s buy them, so there may not be any need to bother.

The essential Bournemouth Echo reports on the defiantly named Gill Power-Forward, a product of nominative determinism who will not be stopped:

Gill Power-Forward had just finished at the check-out at the Canford Heath Asda store and was handing the heavier of the two bags to her strapping teenage son Andrew to take to the car.  But she was stunned to be stopped by the cashier, who insisted she carry the heavy bag herself because it had the bottle of wine in – and her son might drink it…

As a strapping lad…

Gill said: “I didn’t know what to say. The world’s gone mad was all I could think – it’s crazy. Suppose I’d been in a wheelchair and was unable to carry the bag.”

Or had to put the bag on your lap. Suppose.

The Guardian brings news from Leeds, and introduces the idea that the shopper’s profession in relevant:

Management consultant Jackie Slater thought she was completing a normal shopping trip to Morrisons until the checkout assistant demanded to see her ID before scanning two bottles of wine.

Management consultants, eh. Would you trust one?

“I told her I was really flattered, but I was the wrong side of 50,” she said. But the assistant pointed to her 17-year-old daughter, Emily, and her 18-year-old niece, Annice, who were standing at the end of the checkout chatting.

“She asked: ‘Are they with you?’ I said they’d come to help me carry the bags back to the car. The assistant said: ‘You could be buying the wine for them. It’s the policy – I have to see everyone’s ID to make sure they are all over 18′.”

And in the Mail:

RAF officer banned from buying alcohol because he was shopping with son, 17

That an RAF officer had to buy his own booze is disgusting enough. But this is too much.

And what about her:

Karen Dumelow is 46. She looks younger. She at a branch of Tesco with her 14-year-lold daughter Emily. She is buying two bottles of wine (white).
The cashier asks for ID. Karen Dumelow is by trade a “fraud investigator”. Says mum to the Porstmouth News:

“The checkout assistant asked Emily for ID and I just told her that obviously she didn’t have any because she is only 14 years old.”

Obviously. And, perhaps, not an ID she wanted to show her mum.

For some it’s booze. For Tesco’s it’s spoons. Tesco’s moves with the times:

Emma Sheppard is unable to buy a packet of teaspoons from her local Tesco’s in Evesham, Worcester. The check out operative has studied the ‘Think 25′ scheme, and wonders if Emma is old enough – over 25 – to buy teaspoons.

Says Emma:

“When the assistant asked me for ID I thought John had sneakily put some booze in the trolley, but then when she held up a pack of spoons we looked at her like she was an idiot.

“We were both a bit taken aback really - what are you going to do with a packet of spoons that means you need ID to buy them? In this crazy world we live in, you have to be over 18 to buy teaspoons it seems.”

Read: Tesco Introduces Products For Over 65s Only

Emma is housewife, says the Mail, which showcases these type of stories to show just how hideous the country becomes when Daily Mail readers rise to positions of authority….

Anorak

Posted: 11th, October 2009 | In: Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Max Payne: Alabama’s Nominative Determinism Death Row

A DEPRESSING case of nominative determinism in Alabama’s death row where inmate Max Landon Payne – Max Payne – is scheduled to be put to death.

An attorney for Alabama death row inmate Max Landon Payne says he doesn’t expect to file last-minute appeals to stop Thursday’s scheduled execution.

Spotter: Al

Anorak

Posted: 6th, October 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Kate Gosselin Sets Lawyer Marty Singer On Jon And The Missing $200,000

MORE news on OctoSperm man Jon Gosselin and his failed marriage to Kate Gosselin.

Anorak’s pal in Los Angeles tells us of an alleged caper:

It seems Jon emptied out the couple’s joint bank account, to the tune of $200,000, prompting Kate to retain hard-hitting celebrity attorney Marty Singer.

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Anorak

Posted: 4th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

RMT Calls Off London Undergound Strike As Colder Weather Moves In

THE 24-hour strike planned for next week on the Victoria Line has been postponed.

Comrades loyal to the Rail Maritime and Transport (RMT) were scheduled to walk away from their posts in a spat over workloads and rosters.

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Anorak

Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Sergeant Delroy Smellie Charged With G20 Assault

SERGEANT Delroy Smellie is to be charged with assaulting Nicola Fisher at the G20 demonstration in London.

Yeah, Smellie. Oh, nominative determinism.

The G20 summit has long stopped being about politics, and now exists only for the media as a chance for the uniformed police and banner waving poverty fans – hoods up, kids - to go for it in scenes missing from our TV screens since all-seater stadia erupted all over football.

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Anorak

Posted: 28th, September 2009 | In: Gallery, Key Posts, Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Jett Travolta Court Case: Scientology Round-Up

IT is alleged that when John Travolta’s son Jett died in the Bahamas, former senator Pleasant Bridgewater (oh, nominative determinism) and medic Tarino Lightbourne did demand $25m (£15m) from the actor in return for keeping secret a document relating to 16-year-old’s treatment.

Both deny the charge.

Travolta says he had found nannies trying to revive his son. He soon took over the resuscitation attempts. His son was autistic and suffered from seizures.

Police inspector Andrew Wells tells the court that Mr Travolta had wanted his son flown to the US instead of the nearest Bahamian hospital. He said Mr Lightbourne asked Travolta to sign on a statement confirming that he had waived medical treatment for his son.

Mr Travolta says he signed a medical liability release document but in the drama did not read it through.

To the round-up:

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