X Factor: Peaches Geldof Piles On the Misery For Jedward
X FACTOR Watch: Your daily X Factor news round-up: hating Jedward with Peaches Geldof.
Daily Mirror: “STOP HATING US”
The Jedward twins told last night how they have become the victims of a “savage” hate campaign being waged by vile X Factor obsessives…
Like the, er, Daily Mirror and every other organ with a page to fill?
“We were in the street walking to our dance class when a whole family came past in a black car and shouted out, ‘We hate you. You’re w******’. Edward was shaken up and very upset. I had to calm him down and tell him not to think about it. All we want is for people to love us.”
Can’t we just be indifferent to you?
Posted: 8th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Save Perez: Perez Hilton Is Scientology’s ‘Latest Victim’
CELEBRITY blogger gone native Perez Hilton (and family) is introducing his readers to the wonders of Scientology.
Anorak’s Man in the ratsnest tells us:
“Notice the text on pink background below, sandwiched between badly written blog stories?
“That’s not just an informational blurb about the Church of Scientology – it’s space bought & paid for by the church. And who’s the recipient of those Scientology dollars? Perez Hilton.”
Nothing wrong with anything about that. You can support what you like on your own blog. But Perez Hilton seems a little confused about what his views on Scientology are. He likes their money – unless he’s posting the ads for free? - but doesn’t seem to much like them:
On the matter of John Travolta’s son Jett’s death:
This must have been a very difficult day for the star, but we wonder if there will be any backlash from the Scientology community, where discussion of developmental disorders is a big no-no.
The weird Katie Holmes:
Look at Tom’s intense gaze! Well, the couple that jogs together…loves Xenu together?
Posted: 24th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
THE Daily Mirror brings front-page news of Coleen Nolan and the question that has burnt like a Swiss cheese maker’s cystitis:
“COLEEN – At last: truth about feud with my sisters”
With that long-awaited story now closed, the Daily Mirror can turn to other burning issues that remain open like festering sores ion the buttocks of the news’s body:
NOOKIE – At last: Nookie Bear: ‘Why I never got on with Orville’
EDDIE – Finally: Edward Windsor tells us his secrets of choosing a top bedroom sofa
Posted: 28th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Swine Flu, With Marilyn Manson
ASHEN-faced popstar Marilyn Manson has celebrity swine flu. As he says on his blog:
“So I have officially been diagnosed, by a real doctor, with THE SWINE FLU.”
“I know everyone will suggest that f**king a pig is how this disease was obtained. However, the doctor said, my past choices in women have, in ‘no way’ contributed to… me acquiring this mysterious sickness. Unfortunately, I am going to survive. M.”
Posted: 24th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SADOS Befriend Kate Moss At Topshop Fashion Show
AT the Topshop Unique Spring/Summer ‘10 catwalk show during London Fashion Week at the Topshop Venue, University of Westminster in London, Anorak spots the Sados (Sons and Daughters of Stars), for whom the Celebrity Petri Dish is not only small but fraught with the peril of incest.
So whose children wer at the show?
Peaches Geldof was there. She’s the daughter of Bob Geldof and the late Paul Yates. Jamie Winstone was there. She’s the daughter of actor Ray Winstone, and dressed for the evening as Willy Wonka’s “tool“.
Before you know the X Factor and the Simon Cowell factory, realise that without it all celebs would have webbed feet and matching genitals.
Also there is Chloe Green, who says:
“I’m designing my own fashion range, which is really exciting. My father knows that this is what I want to do and is fully supportive. It helps because of what he does for a living and I’ve grown up in the business.”
Chloe Green’s dad is Sir Philip Green, billionaire owner of the Arcadia Group.
As we’ve said bfore being a SADO must be like turning up at the orgy to find mum handing out the towels and dad’s ghost writer taking notes.
Also there was Kate Moss, who is not rlated to anyone famous, although she did once befiorend Peter Doherty.
Talent is relative.
Posted: 20th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery, Key Posts Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madonna Performed As Lady GaGa, In Pictures
LADY GaGa is everywhere. Thanks to her masks and string vest burka she might be more than one. Some GaGa’s even be men.
Having been pipped to suicide on the MTV stage by Kanye West and his bottle of cognac, a GaGa was in New York to look over Marc Jacobss Spring 2010 Collection during Mercedes Benz Fashion Week.
Why GaGa want to see the latest fashion was a mystery, until we saw the pictures of her with Madonna. GaGa is Madonna’s camel face, the popstar by committee.
Posted: 16th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Robbie Williams Has Celebrity Swine Flu
CELEBRITY Swine Flu – Robbie Williams catches the Swine Flu…
The Daily Express brings news of Robbie Williams and the flu that everyone whose anyone’s got:
The Angels hitmaker worried fans by posting a blog on his website telling them he may have contracted the potentially deadly virus and was seeking medical advice.
He wrote, “Off to the doctors to confirm if I have pig (flu) or not.”
The doctors. Poor, Robbie Williams. The rest of us need not be left hanging. A simple call to the swine flu hotline – a few questions: You proper poorly? On a scale of 1 to 10 how proper poorly are yer? Do you roll about in your own faeces and snuffle a lot? – and we know that we have the swine flu.
Posted: 18th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Swine Flu With GMTV’s Andrew Castle
CELEBRITY Swine Flu with GMTV tennis presenter Andre Castle.
In “Tamiflu nearly killed my daughter, says Andrew Castle”, the man with the racket tells Daily Express readers, as he told Daily Mail readers the day before:
Posted: 12th, August 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Katie Price Has Suspected Swine Flu
CELEBRITY Swine Flu: Katie Price has swine flu. Maybe.
We join the action as Katie makes her way to Bournemouth. Her spokeswoman takes up the drama:
“I handed Katie a piece of chewing gum and just after she put it into her mouth, a veneer came out. She was in a lot of discomfort and we found a dentist who would open up especially to treat her.
“He had to give her a lot of anaesthetic and her face swelled. She could not face the general public looking like that.”
Posted: 1st, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Swine Flu Mutates Into Meningitis
WITH the panic over swine flu not as frenzied as hoped, and people still walking about and talking to one another, Anorak hears of 17-year-old Gemma Drury, from Brimington, Chesterfield, who had her meningitis misdiagnosed as swine flu.
Gemma’s father Kevin tells us:
“She fell ill and collapsed. An emergency doctor came and said it was swine flu. But Gemma just got worse and worse with terrible headaches and vomiting.
“She wanted to go into hospital but they wouldn’t take her because they kept saying it was swine flu.”
Posted: 23rd, July 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Ricky Hatton Has Celebrity Swine Flu
CELEBRITY Swine Flu, with Ricky Hatton. With swine flu rife and threatnign to kill us all it offer the perfect tabloid blend of scare story and celebrity photo opportunity.
Boxer Ricky Hatton is laid up after a swine flu’ scare and, says the Manchester Evening News:
“Hatton was rushed to hospital by his distraught fiancee.
“The 30-year-old boxing champ has been detained in the private Alexandra Hospital in Cheadle where he is on a drip and undergoing medical tests.”
One contributor chipped in with: Ricky can only eat dry toast made by the ‘Ricky Hatton Toaster’, just like Ricky it only does 2 rounds.
Posted: 17th, July 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Swine Flu With Micah Richards
IN today’s Celebrity Swine Flu bulletin, Sky News reports that England and Manchester City footballer Micah Richards is on trend.
Says Micah from Cyrus:
“At first I thought it was a really bad chest infection, or maybe alcohol poisoning. I felt so weak I couldn’t move or eat.”
Alcohol poisoning is so 1990s. Sine fever is all:
“When I was told I had swine flu all sorts of things started going through my mind. You see on the news people dying of it.”
Posted: 11th, July 2009 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Swine Flu With Coleen Nolan
IN today’s edition of celebrity swine flu, a proud Coleen Nolan explains via the Daily Mirror’s front page:
Coleen: My Boy’s Got Swine Flu
In an article entitled “Coleen’s Fear” (surely “Colene’s pride”? – ed), a beaming Coleen tells us:
“It was terrifying and I’ve been desperately worried about him. I can’t help thinking about the terrible ways in which the disease can develop. I’ve spent ages reading about swine flu on the internet and they say people with asthma are particularly susceptible….Teenage boys are apparently also most at risk, so it’s been a terrible worry.”
Posted: 10th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Peaches Geldof Wants To As Un-Sexy As Angelina Jolie
STOMP on that thought and know that Peaches Geldof does not want to be thought of as “sexy”. Try to ee her instead as a British, shrunken, more desperate, less talented, more ordinary Angelina Jolie.
Says the sexy, sorry, hideous Peaches Geldof:
“It’s obvious I’m not dressing for men. I don’t want to be sexy. I’m like covered in tattoos. I have piercings.”
She is what she is. A plain girl trying to be noticed with piercings and tattoos:
“I’m just grungy and weird and not what is socially accepted as beautiful, and I think that’s cool.”
Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michael Jackson Stars In New Harry Potter Film
GREAT news that Rupert Grint has recovered from his bout of Celebrity Swine Flu just in time to tread the soggy carpet at the London premiere of Harry Potter And The Half–Blood Prince.
What are the odds?
Says his publicist and medical expert:
“He has now fully recovered and is looking forward to joining his fellow cast mates for the junket and premiere this week, and then will return to filming afterwards.”
Posted: 6th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Harry Potter Star Has Swine Flu
IN today’s edition of Celebrity Bingo – can you link a celebrity to a big news story? – Sky News reports that Harry Potter actor Rupert Grint has swine flu.
The thespian, known to millions of adults as Ron Weasley has, as his publicist terms it: “a mild bout of swine flu.”
Posted: 5th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Big Brother Housemate Contracts Swine Flu
IN this edition of Celebrity Swine Flu, Big Brother aid to masturbation Imogen Thomas catches swine flu.
Says Imogen:
“It’s awful, I feel drowsy and need to sleep. Swine flu isn’t exactly a good souvenir to bring back from holiday.”
Yeah, that’s right - Imogen Thomas is alive.
More celebrity swine flu to follow…
Swine Flu & Me
Lisa Rinna Had Pirate Copy Swine Flu
Hollywood Child Star In Swine Flu Terror
Jonathan Ross Linked To Pig Flu
Paris Hilton Flies To Mexico
Swine Flu Hits American Idol
Susan Boyle “Beaten Down By Swine Flu”
Obama Came Into Contact With Suspected Pig Flu
Mexican footballer suspended for Swine Flu antics
Peaches Geldof Linked To Swine Flu
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Media Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Peaches Geldof Studies Scientology
NEWS reaches us that try-hard rebel Peaches Geldof – the girl who turned up a swinger’s club and found her mum and dad handing out towels - has been studying Scientology for nine months.
The Sunday Mirror’s Dean Piper is excited and says:
The patience of Sir Bob Geldof is set to be tested once more, as I can reveal his daughter Peaches is far more into her Scientology studies than anyone realised. You have to wonder whether Bob will finally be pushed over the edge by her latest antics researching the mysterious faith.
This would be pop star Bob Geldof, the man who squired and bred with wildchild TV presenter Paula Yates, the man who called his daughter Peaches, the man who can be seen about town dressed as aged Zippo clown? He would be outraged by his daughter sitting in a church?
After all, he has remained tight-lipped over her past run-ins with cops, her rumoured drug overdose and her Las Vegas marriage to rocker Max Drummey.
How hard Peaches Geldof tries to look edgy and interesting. And hwo she fails. Mum and dad are always at the party ahead of Peaches. When Peaches arrives at the cool do, mum and dad and the in crowd have already moved on to somewhere much more exclusive.
Millions of Peaches
To be different Peaches would need to do something drastic like get a proper job, say, as a nurse - but not save as many people as dad - or dye her hair blonde – but not as blonde as mum’s.
Instead of being a real rebel, pastiche Peaches trots along to the Church of Scientology centre in LA. And does exactly what’s expected of her. She studies not Islam nor Judaism not Catholicism but Scientology, the remedial religion.
Says a source:
“Peaches became sober a year ago now. And shortly after she started looking for fulfilment in life. She’d had a few crazy years learning to cope with fame and growing up and wanted to see whether she could gain anything in life from any faiths.”
Are you still there? Peaches is learning to cope with fame by attempting against all the barriers presented by a lack of any talent to be famous.
Meanwhile, all the cool cats are studying the new religion - you know, Peaches, that one. Scientology is part of the establishment and soooo very yesterday…
Posted: 21st, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
How To Catch Swine Flu: A Video Guide
WHAT follows is a detailed account of how to catch swine flu and then pass it on. You will pass it on to everybody.
When you die, the worms will eat you and your flu and then pass on to the birds which will kill eveybody else, including the fish…
Swine Flu & Me
Lisa Rinna Had Pirate Copy Swine Flu
Hollywood Child Star In Swine Flu Terror
Jonathan Ross Linked To Pig Flu
Paris Hilton Flies To Mexico
Swine Flu Hits American Idol
Susan Boyle “Beaten Down By Swine Flu”
Obama Came Into Contact With Suspected Pig Flu
Mexican footballer suspended for Swine Flu antics
Peaches Geldof Linked To Swine Flu
Panic-demic!
Swine Flu: World Health Organisation Saves World From World Health Organisation
Swine Flu Victim Bullied And Scared To Death
Perverted Jews To Blame For Swine Flu, Says Egypt
Swine Flu: The Man Boobs Pandemic
Swine Flu Kills The New York Air Kiss
In pictures
Swine Flu Picture Gallery
Lemon Drink Kills Swine Flu
Designer Swine Flu Masks And Accessories: Pictures
Afghanistan’s Only Pig Locked In Safe House
Swine Flu Fever Killing British Business
Joe Biden Orders Everyone To Sneeze Only In Fields
Swine Flu Pandemic In Pictures
Swine Flu Sourced In The Industrial Feacal Mire
Peta Renames Swine Flu Veal Flu
Swine Flu Outbreak In London
Swine Flu Source Found
Pig Flu Linked To Cancer
Posted: 24th, May 2009 | In: Media, Scare Stories Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Iranian Seriel Killer Copied Agatha Christie
TO Northen Iran, where a 32-year-old woman accused of murdering at least six people tells one and all that she was inspired by Agatha Christie.
The woman is said to have targeted middle aged or elderly women at shrines where they were praying.
Posted: 24th, May 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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