X Factor: Jedward Porn Shocker As Olly Murs Seduces Stacey Solomon
X Factor Watch: Jedward watch porn, almost strangled, Stacey Solomon saved by love-struck Olly Murs, Danyl Johnson sings and Lloyd Daniels is in the running.
Can you link these two X Factor stories on Jedward – the John and Edwards Grimes double act?
Daily Star (front page): “Our Hell: Stress is too much”
TERRIBLE twins John and Edward Grimes are cracking up because of the backlash against them.
News of the World (front page): “Jedward caught watching porn”
Simon cracks down on flings, rows and Jedward ogling porn
In other unrelated news:
RHYDIAN: “’Get a grip Danyl’”
Posted: 15th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Somali Rebels Ban Ringtones, Like Captain Pugwash
MORE from those Somali gameshow fantatics and breast enthusiasts of al Shabaab - not Muslim:
Sacdiyo Sheeq used to love listening to Bollywood movie songs on her mobile telephone.
But since hardline al Shabaab insurgents seized the southern Somali port of Kismayu, the 25-year-old’s life has changed.
“Al Shabaab wants our ringtones to be only a Muslim cleric reading the Hadith or Koranic verse,” she told Reuters.
“I used to listen to my favorite Indian songs on my cell phone, but now I have just thrown that memory away.”
Posted: 7th, November 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
How Lily Allen Blew The Music Industry
MOST overblown tabloid tale of the day is in the Times, where Patrick Foster and Dan Sabbagh lend their names to the Lily Allen-inspired headline:
Blow for music industry as Lily Allen says Peter Mandelson’s plans too draconian
This would be the same gilded Lily Allen who yesterday “passed the baton” and would no longer deliver her confused and hypocritical comments on music piracy?
We’re less certain as we read:
The industry has been stricken by infighting since Lord Mandelson, the Business Secretary, proposed that the connections of those who consistently flouted the law should be suspended temporarily. Supporters of the plans, which at one stage included Allen, became involved in public arguments with the Featured Artists Coalition, which includes the musician Billy Bragg and members of Radiohead and Pink Floyd.
Posted: 25th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Victoria Beckham’s At It Five-Times A Day
VICTORIA Beckham works out five times a day. No, not works out sums, or the electricity bill. Vicky works out her body, whch looks in need of a bank holiday or weekend break in the fridge. The Daily Star screams“Skinny Posh health fears”.
But fear ye not. Closer magazine has facts:
“Vic now works out before and after eating, and it’s even increased her appetite.”
Sticky Vicky’s regime goes:
20 minutes treadmill
Breakfast of egg whites and vegetables
20 minutes Pilates (tip: pronounced not as in pirates but as if ordering 3.14 coffee lattes)
Lunch
Weights (see lunch)
Dinner
Cardio
Power Plate
See, you can have a power plate before bed and not put on weight.
Posted: 22nd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Gallery Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
London’s Ugly Truth Permiere In Pictures
ANORAK was at last night’s premiere of The Ugly Truth’ London premiere, and we bring you the pictures of the celebrity liggers who love the film soooo much they went to see it for free.
So low on the radar are these celebs that they risk being taken for copyright pirates.
If the calibre of celebs on the soggy wet carpet is a guide to how well The Ugly Truth will do at the book office, look out for it appearing in a wicker basket outside a charity shop in the next fortnight.
Cue the Celebs:
Posted: 5th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Mumbai Tourist Mohammed Ajmal Amir Kasab Is Gunman, Terrorist And Jew
WHAT do we call Mohammed Ajmal Amir Kasab, aka Mohammad Ajmal Amir Qasab, aka Ajmal Amir Kasav, is a terorist who played a role in the Mumbai attacks.
Kasav’s orders were “kill to the last breath”.
The Times of India knows what he is. The New York Times is uncertain:
Kasab was captured in a chilling photograph and now he has confessed his role in the Mumbai terrorist attacks, but he remains a ‘gunman‘, rather than a ‘terrorist‘, for the New York Times and other leading American newspapers. And with a reason…
For the New York Times and the Washington Post, Kasab is strictly a gunman.
“Mumbai Gunman Enters Plea Of Guilty“, the Post headline read a day later, and the 428 words of the report from New Delhi do not include “terrorist” — not even to qualify the “attack“.
Posted: 27th, July 2009 | In: Media Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
British Pirates Make Off On A Punt
EAT yer heart out Somalia, with your fancy speed boats. In Cambridgeshire, British pirates are making off with the booty on a punt.
The “Fen pirates” has now been apprehended, arrested on the River Ouse.
Posted: 21st, July 2009 | In: Strange But True Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Muggers Caught On Google Street View
GOOGLE Street View is not just for porn. In Holland, police have arrested twin brothers on suspicion of robbery after their alleged victim spotted an image of them following him on Street View.
The teenager says that last September he was pulled from his bicycle and mugged. Then surfing the web he saw the faces that looked familiar.
Posted: 19th, June 2009 | In: Strange But True Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Gordon Brown Slashes Military Spending
GORDON Brown and those rats leaving the sinking ships - and those rats oddly staying on the sinking ship - are behaving like a drunken sailor. Or a pirate.
If only:
Drunken sailors generally spend cash that they’ve already earned themselves, rather than running up debt to be paid by others. If our politicians started spending like drunken sailors, it would in fact represent a dramatic improvement.
Posted: 12th, June 2009 | In: Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
British Pensioners Fight Off Pirates With Deckchairs
ON the high seas, British pensioners are doing battle with Somalian pirates.
To the MSC Melody off the Seychelles:
“Some passengers saw the pirates approaching and sounded the alarm.”
Games!
Posted: 23rd, May 2009 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
French Navy Saves Somali Priates
THE French Navy and the Somali pirates might not be all that different.
Different fish for different folks…
Posted: 16th, April 2009 | In: Politicians Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Dolphins Protect Boats From Somali Pirates
HAVING invested heavily in the Pirate Scheme to save the world’s economy, how typical that the dolphins should ruin it.
As the headline says:
Thousands of dolphins block Somali pirates
Pirates have deployed rocket-propelled grenades and automatic weapons to attack another US merchant ship off the coast of Somalia, says reports. Show me the money!
But:
THOUSANDS of dolphins blocked the suspected Somali pirate ships when they were trying to attack Chinese merchant ships passing the Gulf of Aden.
China Radio International reported the Chinese merchant ships escorted by a China’s fleet sailed on the Gulf of Aden when they met some suspected pirate ships. Thousands of dolphins suddenly leaped out of water between pirates and merchants when the pirate ships headed for the China’s.
Piracy, not privacy, stoopid (via Tim Blair):
The suspected pirates ships stopped and then turned away. The pirates could only lament their littleness before the vast number of dolphins. The spectacular scene continued for a while.
Send for the Japanese!
Posted: 15th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Media Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
House Bill Says Access To Porn Is Child Abuse
HAVING introduced an unworkable anti-abortion bill, American politicos turn their attention to sex and decree that anyone allowing a minor access to pornography is guilty of child abuse.
The adult would then be listed on the Iowa state child abuse register.
Posted: 3rd, March 2009 | In: Politicians Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Get A Rock Star To Join You Band: Nine Inch Nail Man Auctions Self
FORMER Nine Inch Nails drummer Josh Freese is promoting his new album. Here’s what you get for your money. It’s a plan seemingly based on the business of politics - you donate and you get to meet your hero:
$7
* Digital download of Since 1972, including 3 videos
$15
* CD/DVD double-disc set
* Digital download
It gets better:
Posted: 21st, February 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Somalian Pirates Launder Severance Pay
FIRST Woolworths. Now this. The Somalian pirates are getting fired - literally:
The body of a Somali pirate who reportedly drowned soon after receiving a huge ransom has washed ashore with $153,000 in his pocket, his uncle says. The man was one of a group of pirates who seized the Saudi supertanker Sirius Star in November.
Posted: 12th, January 2009 | In: Money Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
China And Somalia Open Capital Markets
CHINESE sailors fight with Somalian pirates to see which can run the world’s economy.
But hold on, guys. Why fight.
If China can make the stuff and Somalians run the distribution network, it could all save the global financial markets yet.
Hurraaaaaaah!
Posted: 19th, December 2008 | In: Money Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Hands On Deck: Inflatable Breasts Lost At Sea
READERS of Australia’s Ralph magazine hoping to get their hands on a pair of free breasts are forced to look elsewhere.
Over 130,000 inflatable breasts, valued at $200,000 have been lost at sea en route to Australia.
Posted: 2nd, December 2008 | In: Strange But True Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Security Guards Flee Somalian Pirates
‘TWO British and one Irish security guard were plucked from the sea by a military helicopter yesterday after they jumped from a tanker seized by pirates off Somalia, leaving behind more than two dozen crew members.
Their decision to abandon the vessel that their company was paid handsomely to protect attracted some criticism. One Western aid official in the region told The Times that after calls for commercial vessels to hire security guards, it was “somewhat ironic that they jump overboard to save themselves”.’
But not everybody criticised them for swimming away; their boss called them heroes. So, if you need some security staff to jump overboard when your ship is attacked by Somalian pirates, the AntiPiracy Maritime Security Solutions firm in Poole, Dorset, should be your first port of call…
Posted: 29th, November 2008 | In: Twitterings Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Somali Pirates Seize MV Amani: Britain Rejoices
GOOD news for Gordon Brown’s investments in Somalia.
Andrew Mwangura, coordinator of the Kenya-based East African Seafarers’ Assistance Programme, confirms that Yemeni vessel MV Amani has been seixed by Somalian pirates.
Says pirate spokesman Alistaaaaaair Darling:
“I am making this satement under no threat of losing my job and being sent to the paper mines. Gordon brown is not a priate. But if he were, he’d be a ruddy good pirate and be cutting out throats from ear to ear for our own good.”
That is all…
Somali Pirates In Discussions to Acquire Citigroup
Posted: 25th, November 2008 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Somali Pirates In Discussions to Acquire Citigroup
SOMALI Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup - here
Posted: 21st, November 2008 | In: Twitterings Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
