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‘“I DECLARE we should ourselves join the global Islamic camp against the global crusade camps,” says Omar Barki Mohammed. “The banner has been risen [for the 7/7 bombers] for jihad inside the UK.”

Hamza - shall we ever see his like again?

Not bad. As Islamic rhetoric goes, it ranks pretty high on the odourmeter. Bakri is proud to be loud, and allowed to live in the UK - even if he has just jetted off to Lebanon, permanently or for some package holiday jihad.

In his absence, the papers will have to find a new figure of loathing. The “mad mullah”, the “Tottenham Taliban”, has been a recognisable figure in the press, a short, middle-aged totem to gather round.

He took over the mantle of most photographed Islamic nutter from Abu Hamza, former nightclub bouncer and latterly one-eyed, hook-handed purple people eater.

But now there is a space waiting to be occupied. Who will come next to pop up in the press and spout all manner of nastiness and vitriol?

And for fear of the media making the selection for them, the Islamicists should think carefully about choosing their own candidate.

Hamza was never a good face of the righteous martyrs. For one thing, he is not a good looking boy.

To some, this is undeniably part of his attraction. Hamza’s the Mick Jagger to Tony Blair’s Paul McCartney, the hooded Vinnie Jones to England’s Gary Linker. Boo! Hiss! He’s a panto villain. Get him off.

Bakri was also none too lovely. We who have seen his British wife, know him to be a man not obsessed with looks. But Bakri has gingery bits in his beard. His eyebrows merge into one line. He is unlikely to ever win Spectacle Wearer of the Year awards.

He also, as a recent photo shown the Times shows, has blackheads over his nose, which juts out from between those brows and that beard to give him the appearance of the Addams Family’s Cousin Itt, that barely comprehensible hairy figure of intrigue.

But he’s now gone; and his parting gives the UK extremists the chance to look deep into their midst for a more photogenic presence.

This is no small task. Looking at the faces of al-Qaeda’s chief suspects, including shoe bomber Richard Reid, London bomber Ibrahim Muktar Said and Dewsbury-born Haroon Rashid Aswat, the voice of radical Islam emerges from mouths sat on singularly unattractive faces.

Which leaves another option. We suggest that the leader operates as a Cyrano de Bergerac type, speaking the words while another altogether more handsome extremist mimes.

It’ll be a twist on the days when Irish Republican Gerry Adams had his oratory given volume by some unknown.

So, let’s get to it. If we are to listen to these hate-filled, narcissistic extremists, to endure their tirades against everyone and everything that is not just like them, let them at least be decent looking.

Or they could always wear a burka…’

Posted: 9th, August 2005 | In: Anorak Says. Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0