Katee Holmes: A Porno Tribute To Katie Holmes
POOR Katie Holmes. First Tom. Then Scientology. And now the ultimate insult. Porn.
Not that Katie is stripping off. Oh no. Instead her name has been commandeered by an 18-year-old aspiring porn star who intends to make her debut by losing her virginity on film under the stage name ‘Katee Holmes’.
Katie is said to be fuming, and threatening to take her virginal namesake to court. Meanwhile, we are sure Tom’s pals at the Church of Scientology will be able to lend some of their considerable resources to make the girl’s life hell.
A photo of Katee appears to be under wraps at the moment. But her agent, Shy Love, told the New York Post she is a 5-foot-9, 122-pound small town girl from Illinois, “with a perky pair of A-cup breasts that are far too perfect to have been constructed by any doctor.”
Love goes on to claim that chaste Katee is so pure she hasn’t even been kissed, and that she is going to start her out with a girl/girl encounter. She says she has taken the Katee: “as a tribute to Katie, who has always portrayed an innocence in everything she’s done, beginning with ‘Dawson’s Creek.’ ”
What a tribute!
Katee says: “I know it’s pretty extreme to lose my virginity on camera, but I like the fulfillment and excitement I get from watching porn, so I figured [a movie] was the best place for me to lose it.
“How many people wished they could relive their first experience, if not to remember it but to learn from it, right?”
Which all sounds like a complete load of BS. But hey who cares? If it pisses off TomKat, it’s fine by us.
Posted: 22nd, May 2007 | In: Anorak In New York Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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May 25th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
@ Myself
“you guys are dumb. who cares if someone takes someone elses name? i’m sure there are tons of katie holmes out there dancing at your local strip club. get a life or i’ll take your name and do something worse!”
I fear the day the likes of you will take over the planet….
May 24th, 2007 at 6:29 am
You do realize you’re leeching from the very popularity you disdain in the pages of your site. Without celebrities, there’d be no tabloids, and you’ve have no fodder for your vicious innuendo. Their hard work and luck (good or bad) and talent becomes grist for your catty remarks.
You can try to de-humanize them all you want, but Tom and Katie are real people who’ve made it to the top of a very tough business with skill and confidence in their own abilities. And that’s more than can be said about a snarky spectator (that’s you) going for cheap laughs at their expense.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Hey there. I’ve made a pictorial video with pics of Katee Holmes on youtube.. Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TL1kkm5rII
Oh, and if that is the real “Katee Holmes” with the comment above, contact my by sending me a message on youtube. I’d like to ask you a couple questions.
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:12 pm
you guys are dumb. who cares if someone takes someone elses name? i’m sure there are tons of katie holmes out there dancing at your local strip club. get a life or i’ll take your name and do something worse!
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:42 pm
thats unacceptable. to take somebodys name as a “porn name” and use the excuse that its a tribute is pure bs. sounds like somebody is trying to market themselves to horny katie holmes fans.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:19 am
Well, everything i’ve said IS honest. call it bs. people will think what they want, regardless of the facts.
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:25 am
I just want to know where i can see this video
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:16 am
I think its funnier than shit. Poor Katie
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:40 am
Both Cruises are such big fakes, this too funny! So Katie Holmes who was born as Kate think? At least Katee Holmes is a real virgin. The other one who is co-joined to Tom Cruise was pregnant while she was still claiming virginity until marriage.
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:03 am
Like it…
Opinions? : 1 - Keep them Coming!
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:41 pm
That’s hilarious that she would even feel threatened by some A-cup breast-sized amateur porn star. Like she has a sparkling, talent-filled, oscar-ridden career to save. Does this mean that she’s going to sue every slut or reprehensible girl with the same or similiar name as herself?