Mitt Romney Supporter Senator Larry Craig’s Toilet Two-Step
IT could happen to anyone. You enter a public toilet. You see a closed toilet stall door. Is it occupied? Or has someone thoughtfully pulled the door behind them? You peek through the crack. Nope. It’s busy. You’ll take the stall next door.
As you sit down you remember a tune that was playing on the car stereo in the morning. You tap your foot a few times. And in your reverie your foot slips and brushes the shoe of the person in the neighboring stall.
An innocent chain of events.
But not to the undercover cop attached to the shoe in the adjoining stall. Police Sgt. Dave Karsnia nabs you for soliciting sex in a men’s room at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. You! Senator Larry Craig. A 62-year-old Republican with a wife and a conservative reputation that includes opposition to gay marriage.
You’re innocent of course. 100 percent innocent. But we don’t want this little incident to muddy your career - or the presidential ambitions of Mitt Romney, on whose campaign you are currently working.
So you plead guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct - without admitting any form of homosexual activity, note - and next thing you know, the whole world seems to think you’re gay.
Obviously, you made a big mistake. Not the toilet incident, that wasn’t a mistake. Oh no. That was a misunderstanding blown out of all proportion by the fascist cop. The mistake was pleading guilty.
“I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct,” Senator Craig told the world in a statement released Monday. “In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously.”
And look what a mess you’re in now. You can handle the one year of probation and $575 in fines and fees. But the media vultures are circling.
They seem to be enjoying the quote that Sgt Karsnia gave them when, after your arrest, you allegedly handed him your Senate ID and said: “What do you think about that?”
And they’re dredging up those baseless gay rumors from the past, like the website which claimed last year that you were a homosexual or the rumors from the early 1980s that you were implicated in a sex scandal involving congressional pages.
Next time you’re caught short in a public place, you’ll wait until you get home. Your own home..
August 28th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Now do you guys understand why a bunch of girls go to the loo together? There is safety in numbers, and besides the bitches can’t well…. bitch
August 31st, 2007 at 8:45 am
As much as I enjoy seeing hypocritical Republicans outed, I must say that I agree with the author. This case is based upon absolutely nothing, and in the audiotape, you can clearly tell the that Craig never admitted guilt, he just took the advice of the officer that it would be easier to pay the fine than fight it out in court. This whole situation is just crazy.
By the way, I typically spread my legs apart when using a public toilet stall. Why? you might ask. I do it to keep my pants from soaking up whatever might be on the bathroom floor. If I drop clean toilet paper on the floor, I pick it up. This whole case is just insane!
September 2nd, 2007 at 7:04 am
Laurence that is sort of an interesting description. LOL
October 17th, 2007 at 3:33 am
I don’t see the crime. Is it a crime to accidentally touch a persons foot in a bathroom? What if this was an old man with Parkinson’s who may not walk too good. Would he be arrested if he swayed into the next stall? My late father was very capable of walking very unsteady and could have certainly touched another’s foot in a restroom. While I am not excited to see gay people in public restrooms, I don’t think that tapping a foot or coming close to another’s foot could come anywhere close to being considered a criminal act.
The police have gone crazy in the last 30 years trying to arrest anyone they can. They are very willing to taser anyone they feel is a threat. Our country is slowly turning into a police state. Our individual rights are shrinking every day. And now this Senator is feeling what many of those would have been arrested have felt - intimidation, threats, and in some cases lies. It seems that innocent until proven guilty is a thing of the past. While I have never been arrested, it seems that those who are arrested are often interrogated so heavily that the person often just breaks and decides to admit guilt in order to end the interrogation. They are often lied to in order to get the suspect to say something that could be used against them in court. It really seems that our court/legal system could use some serious changes.