Police Chief Dicks Clamps Down On Saggy Pants
As Old Mr Anorak says: “You can always trust a man who tucks his vest into his Y-fronts”:
Flint residents now have to watch their butts because Police Chief David Dicks is on the lookout.
Dicks, who took over the department last month on an interim basis, announced that his officers would start arresting people wearing saggy pants that expose skivvies, boxer shorts or bare bottoms.
“Some people call it a fad,” Dicks told the Free Press this week while patrolling the streets of Flint. “But I believe it’s a national nuisance. It is indecent and thus it is indecent exposure, which has been on the books for years.”
On June 27, the chief issued a departmental memorandum telling officers: “This immoral self expression goes beyond freedom of expression.”
The crime, he says, is disorderly conduct or indecent exposure, both misdemeanors punishable by 93 days to a year in jail and/or fines up to $500.
Dicks, 41, broke down his interpretation of the laws as such: Pants pulled completely below the buttocks with underwear showing is disorderly conduct; saggy pants with skin of the buttocks showing is indecent exposure, and saggy pants, not completely below the buttocks, with underwear exposed results in a warning.
Give ‘em the belt…
July 11th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
can he also arrest men who wear white socks? please
July 11th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Fuck*ng Red-neck, I bet he’s a repressed pillow-biter.
July 11th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
..and I’ll also bet, that by the end of the month, every builder in his jurisdiction will be imprisoned.
Did you make this up, Anorak?
If you did. Brilliant!
July 12th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Quite right. Keep it Tight.
Says Flint hard man Dicks.
This could knock the bottom out of the market.
July 12th, 2008 at 9:02 am
what I don’t understand is how all these young men can walk with their trousers belted around the top of their thighs?
being grumpy old woman I do want to shout ‘pull your trousers up’ as they swagger past taking very small steps and showing their knickers.
Slap their legs I say.
July 12th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Actually some of them look like toddlers in need of a nappy change
July 12th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Absolutely agree with P.C Dicks.
Turns my stomach to see blokes wandering around with their bums hanging out of their trousers. I hope PC Dicks men will crack down hard on offenders
Now women, on the other hand . . .
July 12th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
1
Noseycow Says:
July 11th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
can he also arrest men who wear white socks? please
*****
What’s so wrong with white socks, Nosey? I would very much want to forbid men with NO socks in LEATHER shoes. Only Italians get away with that without disgusting me and not even all of them
July 12th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Police Chief David Dicks is going to be a busy man. All he has to do is go to the local shopping center and will he be a busy man. Where is he going to put all these people then?
Boy, will they clog up the courts.
July 12th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
There are, of course, a very large number of embarrassed police men wandering the streets of Flint, hoping desperately that they will not be required to apply the finer nuances of Chief Dicks’ rulings within range of anyone with a camera…