Killer Breasts: Teen Tries To Kill Mother To Pay For Boob Job
HOW many nutters who dropped a shard of copper into Omar Bakri’s big pot believed the “UK’s Twin Towers” would be a building and not a pair of false breasts?
And who would have supposed that such a gigantic tit as Omar Bakri would sire a daughter who was a flat chested as the Taliban Boys’ Choir’s Ironing Board Society?
Mindful of this, our attention is caught by happenings in Colorado, where a teenager has hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend.
Nikita Lee Weis, 18, has been arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit first-degree murder, says Fountain Deputy Police Chief Mike Barnett.
His girlfriend, Sophia Nicole Alsept, and two men police said he hired, Juan Antonio Velez Gonzalez, 18, and Brandon Michael Soroka, 19, were arrested on the same charge.
Weis’ mother, Hyun Weis, was attacked Thursday with a small wooden baseball bat at her home but escaped, authorities said. She was released Friday from a hospital.
One wonders that lengths Bakri would have gone to had he not got together the necessaries to fund his daughter’s chest augmentation?
And if his mother is aware of the dangers..?
September 27th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
One thinks of Aeschylus at times such as these.
September 27th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Really?
He wasn’t really into financial matters, and I’m fairly sure that Oedipus was not involved in the Mother of All Bail-Outs, though admittedly my grasp of banking practises in Athens in the 5th century BC is not all that it might be, though then again, their practise probably wasn’t all it might be either….
September 27th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I happen to have in my possession a manuscript of the first draft of The Libation Bearers, in which Orestes kills his mother so he can afford to have a statue of his girlfriend made, and it seems that Ancient Greek sculptors charged a premium to make extra large knockers. It seems that Aeschylus thought this didn’t make for a good plot.
September 27th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I see, not enough leverage?
A common problem in underdeveloped breasts, sorry, economies, and one which we still lack all the answers to.
I personally feel that the incomplete second draft of the Persian Wars sends a clear though coded message on the dangers of an Iranian bomb, though I have to concede that there is little scholarly support for this.
I do get enthusiastic emails from someone called Dick Cheney about it, though…