Strange News, Politics, Sport, and Celebrity on the Anorak
Splash News on Michael Jackson’s death - “It’s like the FA Cup final”
Americans Kill British Troops On Indepedence Day
THE US is celebrating killing British troops on Happy Indepedence Day, with Johnny Cash. So says Yampster in the Forums:
It’s a little known fact that as the battle of New Orleans was fought after peace was signed between Britain and the USA it’s the first recorded case of the Americans killing British servicemen while at peace with them. Of course we had to wait for over a century before they started killing us while we were on the same side.
Happy ID Day…
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Bernard Madoff Hires Prison Consultant
BERNARD Madoff explains why capitalism will always out - he’s hired a prison consultant:
Bernard Madoff has hired a veteran prison consultant to help him to find the best possible jail in which to serve his 150-year sentence for Wall Street’s biggest fraud.
Payment on approval…
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Sarah Palin Presents The World’s Most Sexist Adverts
SARAH Palin is the victim of misogyny. Now Spazmo Barack Obama’s pitbull in lipstick, the woman who breeds retards - really - presents the most sexist adverts ever:
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Photojournalism, Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Google Ads Serve Piotr Stanczak’s Murder By Taliban
PIOTR Stanczak was a Polish scientist kidnapped by the Taliban and murdered in teh name of Islam. Piotr Stanczak was given the option of coverting or death:
Piotr Stanczak did not exhibit the slightest hint of hesitation when the Pakistani Taliban asked him to choose between execution and conversion to Islam.
Whether the Polish geologist acted out of pride or religious conviction, he decided to pay through his blood to save his faith, a choice that bewildered his killers…
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Sarah Palin Resigned Over Retarded Sex Tape
WANT to know why Sarah Palin quit as Governor of Alaska, and wants to keep that sex tape quiet? (O0ps!) The US media knows why Palin quit. In telling readers why, the nodding heads explain why - to escape this kind of misogynistic personal abuse:
Increase Retards
In Sarah Palin’s resignation announcement she complained about the treatment of her son Trig who always teaches her life lessons. She said that the “world needs more Trigs, not fewer.” That’s a presidential campaign promise we can all get behind. She will be the first politician to actually try to increase the population of retarded people - Huffington Post, Erik Sean Nelson
Nelson achieves a new low in journalism.
Spread Downs Syndrome
She wants to spread Down syndrome. When, earlier today, Sarah expressed a desire for more “Trigs” in the world, I could not have agreed more, because Down syndrome is just too cute to be reserved for 1 in 800 births - Talking Points Memo.
Wayne Francis mines a new low in the abuse aimed at Palin
She’s Pregnant
In a discussion on CNN earlier today with Candy Crowley, Rick Sanchez says:
There have been a couple other situations that might cause someone to feel a lot of stress. But aside from those, is there anything going on with her that perhaps may lead her to want to make this decision, and the one thing that’s still left out there is, hey, could she be pregnant again - Inquisitr
Blood sports
Sarah Palin abruptly resigned on Friday as governor of Alaska, saying she did not want to waste her time on ”political blood sport” and would hand power to her deputy later this month - FT
President Palin
Sarah Palin, the former Republican vice-presidential candidate who electrified her party’s campaign last year, has resigned as Alaska’s governor in a dramatic decision that has fuelled speculation she is positioning herself to run for president – The Guardian
She Breached Ethics
More importantly, there are rumors in Alaska that more Ethics Act charges are in the works and that there is also a more serious Federal investigation focusing on Palin during her tenure as mayor in Wasilla and the building of her home and a sports complex in Wasilla, long speculated to have been linked. It’s the one very touchy subject whenever you bring it up in the MatSu Valley. As someone who is writing a book on Palin, I can attest to the fact that there are always rumors flying about her, not all of them true, but this seems like a real possibility, especially given the timing of her announcement today - Huffington Post, Geoffrey Dunn
Such are the,er, facts.
To Cash In
Palin also has a multi-million dollar book project for Rupert Murdoch that she needs to complete in time for a spring release. That’s some serious cabbage, and there were grumblings in Alaska about the book deal as well. There will be other lucrative, high-visibility media options for her shortly down the road. Don’t be surprised to hear of one of those popping up soon. This frees her up to reach for the gold ring without her minions being able to register any complaints. In that respect, it’s a logical move - Huffington Post, Geoffrey Dunn
A book? Yes, like the one Geffrey Dunn is writing about how much he, er, knows about Sarah Palin.
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Farrah Fawcett’s Ryan O’Neal Seen With Another Woman
FARRAH Fawcett is not long dead and her long-term lover Ryan O’Neal is grieving. Perfect time, then, for the Daily Mail to release the news that he has been spotted with another woman:
The Hollywood star strolled barefoot through the surf on a Californian beach with his arm over the shoulder of the unnamed woman.
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Scare Stories: Thinking Positive Makes You Feel Terrible
THE Ultimate Media Scare Story goes something like this:
“REPEATING positive statements such as ‘I am a lovable person’ or ‘I will succeed’ makes some people feel worse about themselves instead of raising their self-esteem, a study says.”
That’s right – thinking positive thoughts makes life worse for you.
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Media, Scare Stories | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Five Reasons Why Andy Murray Failed At Wimbledon
MURRAY Mount is routed by Andy Roddick. Andy Murray’s Wimblwdon bid is over. Where did it go wrong? Anorak delivers our Top Five Reasons Why Andy Murray Failed At Wimbledon:
Kipling Test
The doyennes of the All England Club failed to introduce their much-vaunted Kipling Test – can Roger Federer recite all the verses he passes on the walk from changing room to court?
The Blonde
With her long blonde hair, longer legs and over-sized sunglasses Andy Murray’s girlfriend is the ultimate in court-side chic. So says the Mail, which gives a heads up to cameramen looking to fill those frequent breaks in play and moments before and after a big point with a hot of a blonde. Kim Sears fits the bill. And if she can keep Murray lean and hungry his hope can only be increased.
Fail: She became slightly tanned and displyed brown-ish roots.
Murray Maniacs
The Murray Maniacs are a chippier, less HRT-fed lot than the Henmanics, Tim Henman’s band of sectioned supporters. But they do have one advantage: less letters means lee T-shirts and less time spent organising people to stand in line to spell out their hero’s name when the valuable minutes could be spent chanting. Murr-eeee fits neatly with the Timm-eeee call, but Anorak suggests a twist and shortening Murray to Muzz, so creating the Muzz Buzz, a slow hissing fizz that at moments of tension causes Federer to believe he is under attack from angry wasps.
Fail: Murray becgan to swat balls like a Highland walker swatting midges. Muzzzzzz.
The System
The failed introduction of the esoteric Duckworth Lewis System that made one-day cricket a lottery. With just a few games played, the onset of rain or failing light could see Federer needing to win 17 games in a row inside 34 minutes.
Fail: See roof
Scotland Expects
Hiring the Scottish football team to Train Murray, thus ensuring the Muzz never hits a ball into the net no matter how hard he tries.
Fail: Tained by Graham Taylor and so beaten by the Americans.
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Big Brother Housemate Contracts Swine Flu
IN this edition of Celebrity Swine Flu, Big Brother aid to masturbation Imogen Thomas catches swine flu.
Says Imogen:
“It’s awful, I feel drowsy and need to sleep. Swine flu isn’t exactly a good souvenir to bring back from holiday.”
Yeah, that’s right - Imogen Thomas is alive.
More celebrity swine flu to follow…
Swine Flu & Me
Lisa Rinna Had Pirate Copy Swine Flu
Hollywood Child Star In Swine Flu Terror
Jonathan Ross Linked To Pig Flu
Paris Hilton Flies To Mexico
Swine Flu Hits American Idol
Susan Boyle “Beaten Down By Swine Flu”
Obama Came Into Contact With Suspected Pig Flu
Mexican footballer suspended for Swine Flu antics
Peaches Geldof Linked To Swine Flu
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Media | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michael Jackson’s Pet Bubbles For Sale
MICHAEL Jackson’s old mucker Bubbles is for sale.
Says Bubbles:
“I hope Diana Ross kicks a bucket better than she kicks a football. I never liked her.”
Spotter: M Kritharis
MICHAEL JACKSON Michael’s Pets (Original official 1987 US licenced ‘Bubbles The Chimp’ plush toy featuring Bubbles wearing a cap, shirt, tie and jacket. This toy comes complete with the original story and song cassette and still attached to the original picture card packing).
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Mariah Carey Copies Michelle Obama’s Fashion
MARIAH Carey has a huge left hand, attached to a gigantic left thumb.
Celebrity thumbs are all the rage, a trend begun by Michelle Obama and adopted by Megan Fox, and now Mariah Carey.
The thumb is seen dangling from the end of one of Carey’s asymetric arms on the cover of Obsessed.
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Megan Fox Stars In Noboru Iguchi’s RoboGeisha 2
WHAT next for Megan Fox? How do you follow an part in a non-acting film like Transformers? With a part in Tranformers 2. Certainly. And then with a part in a sequel to Noboru Iguchi’s RoboGeisha:
Megan Fox Trashes Whites And Christians
Megan Fox’s Secret Picture Gallery
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Megan Fox Makes Michael Bay Look Young And Dumb
MEGAN Fox opens her mouth and to prove they are not staring at her cleavage, hacks takes down every word she says.
Editors print it because what Megan Fox says can be illustrated with a picture of her skin.
Now, Megan Fox says her Transformers’ director Michael Bay created a film “not about acting”.
Says Bay:
“Well, that’s Megan Fox for you. She says some very ridiculous things because she’s 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do…”
Bay is 44 years young. Says he:
“Nick Cage wasn’t a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck before I put him in Armageddon. Shia LaBeouf wasn’t a big movie star before he did Transformers — and then he exploded. Not to mention Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, from Bad Boys.”
Really?
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
An Advert For North Korea’s Pride of Pyongyang Beer Advert
TO North Korea, wher those who have not already eaten their TVs are rejoicing to an advert for “Pride of Pyongyang“- the beer that will help ease stress.
“It represents the new look of Pyongyang.”
“It will be a familiar part of our lives.”
“Great with live fish.”
Says full pint Kim Jong-il:
“Watching good quality beer coming out in an uninterrupted flow for a long while, he noted with great pleasure that it has now become possible to supply more fresh beer to people in all seasons.”
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Money | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Inside Michael Jackson’s New Neverland Theme Park
MICHAEL Jackson’s Neverland Ranch is to be turned into a theme park. The old rides are gone and the news rides are being installed. Anorak brings you an exclusive look inside:
The Ten Best Things To See And Do at the Neverland Theme Park
Nemesis - Face your Nemesis. This intense ride takes you through shopping malls as an animatronic Martin Bashir asks you questions. Will you break it – or will it break you?
The Hit Parade – Walk down Main Street USA and listen as the people scream “Paedo!” and “Weirdo!” As you walk, yellow squares in the road light up. Tread on the wrong squares and fall into the Gary Glitter Bargain Bucket. Tread on the right squares and the world dances with you.
Oblivion - Face your fears. You know you shouldn’t look down, but you won’t be able to stop yourself taking a peek at the colossal vertical drop from the highs of Thriller to the lows of the Brit Awards.
Hall of Wax – Wander though the Hall of Wax and experience Michael Jackson in his many guises. The tour ends in the Hot Wax Surgery where you can buy supple balls of molten wax and make your own Wacko Jacko.
Leave Me Alone! - Something for mum and dad. Sit junior on Jackson’s knee and try to win big cash prizes. Sit the child wrongly and junior comes away with only a cherished memory. Sit him or her on the ‘Thriller’, and – Kapow! – money pours from Jackson’s orifices like sweat off a doctor’s brow.
On The Wall – Have your face digitally entered into that famous picture of Jackson at Liza Minelli’s wedding to David Gest. Hang it over a radiator or open fire and have everyone think you’re melting.
It’s A Small World After All – Take a DNA test and see if you are Michael Jackson’s child. Since Jackson died we are now each of us no more than Five Degrees Separated from Michael Jackson. Fact.
I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles – Sing-a-long with a millions Jackson look-alikes – one may even be him!
- I’m forever blowing bubbles,
- Pretty bubbles in the air.
- They fly so high,
- Nearly reach the sky,
- Then like my dreams,
- They fade and die.
- Fortune’s always hiding,
- I’ve looked everywhere,
- I’m forever blowing bubbles,
- Pretty bubbles in the air.
Jesus Juice Bar - Take holy communion over an injection of Jesus Juice in the Jesus Juice Bar.
Where’s Jacko? - As you wonder about Neverland look out for Michael Jackson. Jackson can appear as a small boy, a confused teen, a man-child or even a 20-year-dead masked mummy lying in a four-poster bed propped up on back issues of Melody Maker.
Michael Jackson Funeral Guest List: Pictures
Michael Jackson’s Last Will In Full
Michael Jackson’s Secret Lover Revealed
Michael Jackson Presents More World’s Best Misspelled Tattoos
Michael Jackson: CNN Raises Questions About Bubbles’ Parentage
Elton John Outsells Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson’s Nurse Denies Stomach Pump Claims
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Reliant Land Speeder Races Aston Martin Cygnet
RELIANT Land Speeder races an Aston Martin Cygnet… and wins:
From Yampster in the Forums:
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Alternative Album Art: The Who And Susan Boyle
Alternative Album Art - No. 2: Who’s Next And Susan Boyle
The Susan Boyle debate rages on. Will she need a makeover before the album comes out? Did she succeed despite or because of her unorthodox appearance? (Unorthodox by the constrictive standards of our celebrity culture, we hasten to add.) And so on and so on…
Back in the Sixties, record companies were still in the habit of putting pretty white girls on record covers, especially if the artist who recorded the music was black.
Otis Blue by Otis Redding was just one notorious example.
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Flashback, Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Global Warming Ruins Wimbledon
GLOBAL warming - or summer, as it used to be called - has ruined Wimbledon.
The abscence of Great British ballboys placing down copies of Nuts magazine to pull a tarpaulin sheet across Centre Court and a muted Cliff Richard - the acoustics with the roof shut are not nearly good enough for such a champion of the summer sport - plus the errie spectre of a British player proves that not all change is necessary.
Anorak recalls when tennis was a decent sport played by a decent sort.
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Teacher Gives Students Homemade Porn DVD
THAT’S Miss, a teacher at California’s Isabelle Jackson Elementary School, sending home the students with a DVD in which she can be seen having sex.
All 24 nippers are tuning in to see Miss on a sofa with a Mr.
Should they take notes? Is this show ‘n’ tell?
“Just destroy them,” says school spokeswoman Torrey Johnson.
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Michael Jackson Has Car Repossessed
THE death of Michael Jackson affects us in different ways. Some become suicidal; some commit crime; some lash out; some conspire; and some cash in.
In this video, Michael Jackson has his car repossessed. He reacts with the power of dance…
Posted: 3rd, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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