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Gander

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Mull It Over – Kate Moss & Pete Split To The Highlands

PETE Doherty and Kate Moss have been arguing.

After so much drugs, drugs and, er drugs, the Star says Kate has told the pop f*ckwit she just wants to be friends.

An … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (2)

Hewn From Rocky – Sylvester Stallone’s Clay Jaw

“I FELT as if Rocky has come from our village, he had to fight to win his place in society.”

Rocky is Rocky Balboa, aging fighter returning to the ring for … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Goody Gracious Me – Jade to India; Beckhams Melt & Oscars Bravo

CHELSY Davy wore a blue-and-white long-sleeved tunic dress on Monday.

It was “Blue Monday”, the unhappiest day of the year. But, as the Mail said, if anyone could cope with the … (read more)

Posted: 27th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Fare’s Fair

“INCREASED journey times on our railways don’t have to be a bad thing – it’s all a matter of perspective,” writes a Times reader.

“Five years ago my daily commute from … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, January 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Jade Goody – Hoodie

YOU know you’ve made it when…your name is rhyming slag.

So here’s Alan Whicker (knickers) telling the Mail: “Why I hate today’s TV dimwits.”

No mention is made of Big Brother or … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Big-ot Brother; Prince Harry’s Army; Scrambled Doherty; and Beckham’s Break Down

ROBBERS, burglars and Pete Doherty take note – if you want to avoid arrest best check the Royals’ social diary before going out.

Having already spotted Prince William’s paramour Kate Middleton … (read more)

Posted: 20th, January 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Britney’s Fantasy Surgery

“BRITNEY – $30,000 PLASTIC SURGERY SHOCKER!”

K-Ferret, Britney would look worse?

Might it have been that hanging around with rat-faced Kevin Federline made Britney look prettier, cleaner, better?

The Enquirer’s front page features … (read more)

Posted: 18th, January 2007 | In: Money | Comment

Golden Globes Floweth Over

QUOTE: “If the Oscars are the senior prom, the Golden Globes are a Spring Break kegger.” Washington Post.

Figure of Speech: metaphorical analogy, the comparison of representational imagery. Often a form … (read more)

Posted: 18th, January 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment

Big Brother

So says the Independent’s front page.

Above this legend are two eyes. It’s like that Conservative Party advert of 1997. “NEW LABOUR NEW DANGER” ran the message back then. Tony Blair’s … (read more)

Posted: 15th, January 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

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