China’s Citizen’s Anti-Terrorist Handbook
THE Olympic Games are coming to Beijing. It’s goona be just terrific. But watch out for the baddies. Some of the Chinese jihadists have knives.
(Picture: Beau B D’Or Website)
In readiness, China’s Public Security Ministry has released a Citizen’s Anti-terrorist Handbook. The Beijing News broadcasts the advice:
When attempting to identify explosives, citizens should watch, listen, and sniff, but never touch. If the suspicious item smells like rotten eggs, it could be gun powder; if it smells like ammonia, it is possibly Ammonium Nitrate explosives.
If the explosive devices are wrapped in a Chinese tank, try not to stand in front of it armed only with a hanky on a stick because it will be so much the very worse for you.
What to do if you are kidnapped by terrorists? Stay calm; do not resist; do not stare the kidnapper in the eyes; do not talk; act slowly; try your best to conceal any communication devices; try to count the number of terrorists and identify their ringleader. When the police assault, stay on the ground.
Do not join the terrorists and pass off your lack of compliance with the Chinese administration as Stockholm Syndrome and try to escape.
July 18th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Better yet, dont go to their idiot country and ignore their Olympics
July 21st, 2008 at 2:46 pm
probably won’t be able to see any of the coverage through the smog anyway….!
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:32 am
China has only been given the Olympics so that reporters from all over the World can get in there and do some spying!
Only trouble is - going up a flight of stairs is considered a strategic viewpoint! lol